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AnselandIstaredat Gregor’s lifeless body in silence. Ansel slowly turned his head to me, shock written all over his face.
Before he could speak, every feeling I had suppressed the last four months bubbled up into my chest—all the sadness, rejection, and hurt he had subjected me to these last few months. All because he wanted to keep me safe. I leaned into my anger; the feeling that I felt most of all.
“You left me,” I started, my voice rising, as I stormed towards him. “You told me you loved me and then you left without even saying goodbye? You didn’t even say goodbye to Liam or Demie? Who the fuck does that?!”
I heard Ansel audibly swallow and, for the first time since meeting him, he actually looked nervous. It probably didn’t help that he was handcuffed, and I was holding a gun screaming at him.
“Skye,” he said slowly, keeping his voice level. “Please put the gun down–”
“No! I’m not done!” I interrupted.
Ansel grimaced. “At least put the safety on—”
“IT IS ON!”I screamed, my voice cracking. Taking a shuddering breath, I lowered the gun to the ground. I glared at Ansel. “I took a gun safety class, you know. I’m not as helpless as you think.” I paused. “I did kill your uncle, after all.”
“Skye,” he said slowly, his accent dragging out my name, “I should have never underestimated you. I can’t tell you how sorry I am—”
I raised my hand, silencing him. “I said I wasn’t finished.” My heart hammered against my ribcage as I glared down at him. All the time I wasted thinking of him, why hadn’t I practiced something to say? I truly thought I would never see him again, and yet here he was in the flesh and my mind was as blank as a freshly cleaned whiteboard. “Why are you still here, Ansel? Why didn’t you leave like you were supposed to? Gregor could have killed you. What were you thinking?”
Ansel held my gaze, his features softening. “I tried to. Really, I did. But when I went to the airport . . . I couldn’t leave.”
I sighed, all the fire in my chest dying. “So you were in the city this whole time? Why didn’t you come find me? I just don’t understand you, Ansel.”
“I know. I know.” He hesitated, his jaw tightening. “It’s complicated. You have to understand, my parents died because of my negligence. I know I’m not at fault, but I still feel responsible. I was so afraid of my feelings for you. I was worried if I stuck around, something would happen to you too. I thought you would be safer without me . . .” His voice trailed off and he let out a breathless laugh. “Apparently, I was wrong. You were always in danger with or without me there,” he added, motioning to Gregor’s dead body.
“That doesn’t forgive the fact that you ghosted me,” I said in a low voice. “For the first time in my life, I felt worthy of love, Ansel. You helped me feel that way. And then you just ripped it all away like I was nothing? But you know what? I am lovable. I am so fucking worthy. I am strong. I am capable–capable enough to protect your ass. And if you don’t see that, maybe you don’t deserve me!”
“What I did was unforgivable,” he rasped. “And you’re right, I don’t deserve you. But if there is any way you can forgive me, I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” My heart fluttered, but I kept my features neutral as I listened. “Whatever else you have to say, I promise I will listen. All of it. But before you say anything else, look in my right pocket. Please.”
Ansel wasn’t one to beg, and seeing him on his knees, though not by choice, like he was actually groveling . . . How could I say no to his request? I closed the space between us and leaned over his body, careful not to touch any of part of him unless absolutely necessary, and reached into his pocket. I pulled out two pieces of paper. “What are these?” I asked, turning them over in my hands.
“Two tickets to Scotland. One for me and one for you. I was planning to show up at your apartment tonight and ask for your forgiveness. I bought a ticket for you, just in case you didn’t completely hate me.” My heart stuttered when I saw my name clearly printed on my ticket. Ansel slowly stood with his hands still cuffed in front of his body. My heart thumped faster as he stepped closer. “It took me a long time to realize this, lass, and I’m so sorry I hurt you. But I realized I can’t live without you. And that scares me, Skye. Because I don’t want to lose you. But at the same time, I can’t stay away from you either.”
The corners of my vision blurred as I stared down at the tickets, unable to meet his gaze. He was so close; I could feel his warmth. But he refused to touch me. If we were to embrace, it would have to be my decision.
“But you don’t need me to protect you,” he said softly. He tilted his head, trying to meet my gaze. “You can take care of yourself.”
I nodded, swiping at the corner of my cheek. “On top of the gun safety class, I box now too,” I said weakly. I glared at the ground before finally looking up to meet his face. “You left before I got to tell you I love you.”
Ansel’s mouth twitched, slowly growing into a smile. My chest filled with warmth at the sight. How I’ve missed that cocky smile. “Well, I’m here now.” I paused, letting the silence fall between us. Ansel’s face turned serious. “Skye, we don’t have to go to Scotland. We can go anywhere in the world; I don’t care as long as I’m with you. I’m a bad leader, I always have been. You get to decide on where we go, what we do from now on. You’re the boss now. Not me.”
I let out a shaky breath. “It’s a good thing you’re already wearing handcuffs,” I told him, my lips curving into a smile. “Because I told myself if I ever saw you again, I was kidnapping you and handcuffing you to the bed.”
He raised his cuffed hands, and I ducked my head, stepping into the circle of his arms. He embraced me as best he could, tipping down his chin to press his lips against mine. The familiar tang of tobacco danced across my tongue as I opened for him.
“I love you, Ansel,”I whispered into his mouth.
Instead of moving to Scotland right away, we spent the last few weeks of summer in Baltimore. This allowed me to find a tenant to rent my apartment while I was gone, and more time to get to know Ansel. He took me on proper dates to restaurants and movie theaters; it was fun pretending like we were a normal couple that had met in a bar or on a dating app, though our meet-cute was anything but normal.
The extra time in the city allowed Ansel to keep an eye on the streets and monitor for any new shipments of black rock. Even with Gregor dead and his illegal operation disbanded, it was only a matter of time before some new mafia boss stepped up to take his place. But there was only so much Ansel could do by himself.
As far as we were concerned, the orc boss was officially retired.
We spent our last week in the city boxing up my apartment, sorting everything I owned into three piles: donate, storage, or keep. Whenever I added something new to the keep pile, Ansel would pull it out and remind me his village didn’t have electricity, so there was no need to bring a hairdryer.
“You still have time to back out,” he said, planting a kiss on my forehead. “We could go to Hawaii or Mexico.”
But I was excited to visit the homeland and see where Ansel had grown up.It’ll just be like one long camping trip,I kept reminding myself. Plus, we didn’t have to stay forever. I was allowed to change my mind if I wanted us to plant our roots elsewhere. As the “boss” of our relationship, as Ansel loved to remind me, I was in charge of all big decisions.
