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I pulled back as if she had bitten me, my heart thumping in my chest. It was a reminder that my ribcage still housed something alive. My heart had pulsed like a phantom limb for years, and I’d almost forgotten it was there. I retraced my steps to the sitting room, my head swimming with her scent, the feel of her skin, and the sound of my name on her lips.
The bathroom beckoned to my right. I entered, my lip curling at the black mold on the tiles and cheap peeling wallpaper. Mallory breathed this in daily. The thought made me angrier. There was a used-up tube of toothpaste on the sink, with the end cut off, and a sad little pink toothbrush with slayed bristles. The laundry basket proved to be a more intriguing hoard to go through. A matronly pair of full-cheeked, gray cotton panties sat on the top of the pile. I reached for them, and they were pressed to my nose before I could help myself.
I inhaled Molly's secret, private scent, and nearly came in my pants. Fuck, I was like a junkie, finally getting a fix after years of withdrawal. I considered dropping my slacks and using her innocent, ugly panties to come, but it might ruin my game if she found them. It was too soon. Still, I had to adjust myself because my hard-on pressed so hard against my belt that it threatened to pop through the leather. As I withdrew my hand, precum coated my finger, leaking copiously from the tip. I returned to her toothbrush and wiped my essence on the bristles. Her body should prepare itself for my ownership. The thought of her unknowingly taking that small part of me inside her made dark and twisted need burn a hot path through me.
I left her underwear in the hamper and returned everything to normal, or near enough. I’d return tomorrow to have a better look at the life Mallory had made for herself in my absence.
For now, it suited me to watch from the shadows and wait, spinning my web so there'd be no escape when the walls closed in on her this time.
4
MOLLY
After a good night’s sleep, I was annoyed to find my feet dragging through the day. Even when I slept enough, I felt half-dead the next morning. I downed so much coffee before starting my afternoon shift that I was practically vibrating when I arrived at the Blue Rabbit. In my deep, slightly strange dreams last night, I’d decided that dancing at the club was the only way to make the extra money I needed for Grateful Dawn. I’d woken up determined to ask Rafael about it.
A few hours later, my dream died painfully.
“No.” Rafael pointed to the door and flicked his fingers at me like he was shooing away a cockroach.
We were standing in his office, only half an hour into my shift, and my optimistic mood had already been ruined. It had taken months to gather enough courage to ask Rafe for an audition to dance. Sam and the others made it look beautiful and tasteful, and they raked in tips like no one’s business. I needed the money. Again, the lines of what I’d do to survive had shifted.
“Just no?” I asked.
“Just no.”
His confirmation was a blow. My anger sparked. “Why not?”
“I don’t have to give you a reason, Lori, because I’m the owner, and you work here. Now get out and do that work before I give your job to someone else,” he growled at me.
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” I turned to go, but a hard hand wrapped around my arm and tugged me back.
Rafael loomed over me.“Watch your mouth, Lori. You have no idea who you’re speaking to. I’m not a nobody you can walk over, and I’ll play dead. Besides, if you knew what you were asking me to do and the consequences it could have for both of us, you’d be thanking me instead of causing a scene.”
A flicker of fear had me tamping down my next rude retort.What the hell did that mean?I tried to sound sweet, though I was pretty sure my smile was more of a snarl. “Can’t you at least tell me why?”
A muscle ticked in my boss’s jaw. “I don’t have to explain myself to you, little girl, but because you’re so desperate for a reason, I’ll give you one – take a look in the mirror. Who’d want to watch you dance? You’d be better off trying to model androgynous clothes to rich idiots because you aren’t what men here want to look at. They want the real deal. Something sexy, someone hot – you’re not it.” Rafael’s words set my cheeks on fire, and he pushed me away.
I stumbled toward the door, stung, embarrassed, and pissed off. “Asshole!” I flung over my shoulder, not caring if it got me fired.
It took about two seconds of storming down the hallway to realize how stupid that was. I needed the job. I couldn’t afford to have pride right now.I’d always been hot-headed, and it wasn’t getting better with age.
The truth was that my intense anger could break free at any given moment.Hidden deep down, a pit of molten coals burned inside me, only needing the slightest provocation to flare into scorching fury. I was angry at my father for ruining us. I was angry at myself for letting him take me. I was angry at my mother for tying me to the man I hated. I was angry at Kirill for making me love him and then disappearing. I was angry at the world and had nowhere to put that anger. I had stuffed it down so many times that I had worn a path of fire from my outraged heart to the pit of my belly, where my many resentments smoldered.
“Lori! Get your ass out here before you get fired,” Tanya called.
I sighed wearily. It was going to be busy tonight. A VIP party was coming in upstairs, and they were apparently big spenders. I didn’t care. I wouldn’t be sent to their table anyway.
“Can’t you see she’s fuming? Give her a minute,” Theo said.
Theo had been my co-worker for six months and ended my spell of being utterly friendless. He and his roommate, Federica, also a co-worker, were the only people who’d care if I died tomorrow.
“Heads up. That guy you don’t like is here. The son of that senator wannabe,” Theo muttered.
Great.Kaplan Holmes. For the fifth time this week.
I tied my apron around my waist and washed my hands. Kap was probably still smarting over my put-down the other night. Once again, impulsivity had put me in a situation I now had to be careful about. I turned my head upside down and collected my hair into a topknot.
“Hey, not behind the bar. Tie up your nasty lion’s mane in the dressing room,” Theo teased me.
