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“Manny, I’m terrified; I can’t breathe. Whenever I close my eyes, I keep seeing his fist hitting my face and then hands on my legs and up my skirt. Rouse grabbed me there, Manny. Touched me, and if he hadn’t been interrupted, Rouse would have been inside me with his fingers a second later. I’m dirty. I continuously scrub myself, but I still feel pressure pressing against me, trying to get inside. It’s so shaming,” I wailed, arms folded around me.
Manny held me tight as I shook and gulped loudly, swallowing tears.
“Sin,” Manny whispered hoarsely. Manny’s voice broke me. I pulled my top to one side, and Manny’s eyes zeroed in on the fading finger marks on my breasts.
“Why didn’t you report the bruises at the hospital?” Manny asked gently, one arm wrapped tightly around my back and the other buried in my hair, holding my head into his shoulder.
“How could I? The doctors did the rape kit, and Rouse hadn’t gone all the way. I didn’t want everyone to know how filthy I was. Rouse marked me.”
A growl vibrated against the top of my head. A kiss dropped gently on my forehead, and then Manny forced my chin up, so I gazed into his eyes.
“We beat the shit outta that man, Sin. Now I realise we should’ve done more. You ain’t fuckin’ dirty, you could never be contaminated, you’re so beautiful it hurts to look at you, honey. Beauty and innocence shine from you. The fucker tried to beat you down and failed. Shouldn’t have said what I did. Sin, you ain’t got nothing to be ashamed of, you hear me? Jesus, that motherfucker forced himself on you. Didn’t the docs see the marks on your legs and breasts? There had to be some.”
“That’s why they did the rape kit. The doctors thought the marks meant Rouse had raped me. He didn’t. Rouse just got very close to it,” I whispered.
“Rouse may not have shoved a part of himself inside you, Sin, but it was rape. Asshole was a second away from violating you. Rouse violated your emotional state, stole your security, and abused your body. A man doesn’t have to shove his dick inside a female to assault her. He can violate her in many ways. Fuckin’ idiots think rape means a guy forcing himself inside a female, lots of ways to sexually invade a woman.” Manny grasped me tight in his arms again.
“Manny, I can’t sleep. I’m terrified of being alone. But I’m scared of being surrounded by people. I can’t tell Reid what happened. He’ll flip. Reid won’t know how to cope. Jett and Reid stare at me as if I should be over Rouse’s attack. And I’m not. Every time I close my eyes, Rouse is in my head, forcing hands up my skirt, fingers pinching and pushing to get inside. Manny, I’m showering six, seven, eight times a day and still can’t remove Rouse and get clean.” I broke off with a horrible sob, and Manny dipped his forehead to mine.
“Ah honey, no wonder you wanna be left alone. Ain’t good shutting yourself up. Can’t conquer this until you face it. You need to visit the shop, but I won’t let anyone push you for the next few days,” Manny said as I stiffened. “Trust me?” Manny asked.
Tiredly, I nodded against his shoulder.
“Okay,” I murmured, deciding to trust this rough-and-ready man. Manny had a gentle side he hid under his gruffness.
“Want anything? Chocolates? Food? Snacks? Books?” Manny inquired.
“There’s a series I ordered from the shop. They should have arrived by now,” I whispered. I pulled back from Manny, wiped my eyes, and looked at him. Manny offered a crooked smile and rose to his feet.
“Get you some shit, and then I’ll stand guard, okay?” Manny bent down and touched my face gently. “You can sleep while I’m here ‘coz I’ll beat the crap out of any nightmare that wants to bother you.”
I gave a rueful chuckle, and Manny left me alone with a wink.
Jett
“Are you fucking kidding me? Sin’s terrified. What are you going to do about it?” Reid yelled at Jett just as Manny entered the shop. Manny hitched a hip on the counter and watched the two men glaring at each other, anger flaring between them. Drake took a step to get between them, and Reid paced forward and got in Jett’s face.
“What you think I’ve been doing?” Jett yelled.
“Playing with your dick, from what I’ve seen. Christ, sort it out. This is Sin’s haven. Sin’s daddy left her the Nook. Sin made it work because it gave her something of her dad back. Then a wanker attacks her and makes Sin’s safe place not so,” Reid shouted. Not caring in the slightest, the shop was full of customers watching.
“Fuckin’ know that,” Jett bellowed, not backing down.
Zoe made a tiny noise and moved away from the yelling men. Manny glanced at Zoe and sent her a reassuring smile. Zoe didn’t respond and darted behind the counter.
“So what you gonna do about it?” Reid snapped. Jett dragged hands through his hair.
“What you want me to fuckin’ do? Sin doesn’t wish anyone with her. She’s pushing everyone away. Hell, I suggested cameras and shit. Sin turned me down.”
“You offered,” Reid sneered. Manny had to agree with Reid’s opinion of that.
“Yeah, I did.”
“How thick are you? You don’t offer Sin shit, you tell her. Someone has taken Sin’s haven from her, tried to steal her peace of mind, and you suggest crap? You don’t fucking make suggestions. You just act. Sin will throw a tantrum, but so what? She’ll ease up the minute she knows she’s being watched twenty/four/seven. Put it together. Sin’s struggling for normalcy and trying to regain her power and security. Sin can control not leaving the house, so she is. Stop letting your guilt allow Sin to lead you around by your dick,” Reid yelled again.
Jett stiffened and got straight in Reid’s face.
“Sin’s not leading me around by my dick,” Jett snarled.
