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I let out a groan of frustration and turn to Lik. “This is your fault. If you hadn’t taken so long to get ready, I wouldn’t have had time forthis,” I say, pointing between Sam and me.
“Just put on a new shirt and get your ass in the car,” Lik throws as he exits the kitchen.
I look back at Sam. “I’ll come really quickly. I swear.” I bite my bottom lip and bat my eyelashes only to earn a laugh.
“Enjoy your dinner, Lovebug.”
“But—”
“And remember. No touching yourself.”
He drops a kiss on my lips and leaves.
“Have a good night with Rach,” I shout at his retreating back. “You better take good care of her.” He’s not listening, disappearing into the other room, but I still add, “I’ll kill you if not!”
“Love you too,” I hear his shout back from the living room.
39
SAM
Till Forever Falls Apart- Ashe, FINNEAS
I think I’m the luckiest fucker alive. After showing up at home dressed in a gorgeous gown, a promposal with a homemade banner, and even a corsage and boutonniere, the limo Rachel rented stops in front of the beautiful prep school I know too well. Victorian red bricks, kept gardens, and gigantic wooden doors.
Stoneview Prep is where Rachel and Rose went. After Rose and her twin Jake escaped Bianco, they were placed with the Murrays. And that family sent them here. They went from Bianco’s illegal riches to Stoneview. Where the billionaires appear legal on the surface, as they stand on the shoulders of the criminals of the underworld.
I smile to myself looking at their old school.
Rachel has this thing about her that can make everyone around her grin. Her energy, her smile, her voice. She is so human. So…emotional.
Surely, I shouldn’t date someone who reminds me of my mother. But our relationship is platonic. We’re not sexually attracted to each other, which makes it a little better.
She looks nothing like her. My mum was a tall, red-haired, dark-eyed woman. Very average looking and yet the most beautiful woman in the world in my eyes. She was from North London. She spoke the Queen’s English, which is what turned my own accent so sharp. I’ve lost the poshness of it over time, but I will never forget how my mother spoke. Any word she uttered sounded kind, clean, and beautiful. Maybe it had nothing to do with the accent and everything to do with the fact that she was my mum.
No, Rachel looks nothing like her. And yet, there is something about her.
It’s the unconditional love that reminds me of her. It oozes out of her and embraces us all, not letting go even when we’re in our darkest phases.
My father had always forbidden emotions. You can’t be a great killer if you feel. An unwise decision from him since I am soft at heart. I get that from my mother, and I will never let it go. I feel everything intensely. With that comes the love and the happiness as well as the anger and the rage. I’ve never felt it more than when it comes to Rose.
She’s made me feel it all. The beauty of life, the darkness of love. The fury of betrayal and the soft charm of friendship.
My dad was a horrible man. He was violent, abusive. He hit my mother regularly, and when he couldn’t hit her, he went for me. The day she tried to leave, he killed her in front of me, scaring me into silence. I will forever find salvation in silence. He also turned me into the killer I am today. Something else he managed to force on me. I didn’t question it since I didn’t know anything else I could do with my life.
But there is one thing he failed at: making me into a sociopathic bastard like him.
Every time he tried to stop me from feeling, I fell harder into embracing emotions.
This is something I share with Rachel. She might not see it, because I keep them to myself, and she expresses them tenfold, but being with her makes me feel like someone else understands my emotions daily—the ups and downs of being sensitive and living with being affected by everything around you.
I love that about her. I loveher.
We get out and the limo drives away. She takes my hand and pulls me to a parking spot not far from the stairs that lead to the entrance.
“Do you remember?”
I quirk an eyebrow but smile. I do.
