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I try to focus on the pain in my wrists. They’re bleeding, the zip-ties are so tight, digging far into my skin.
Blood…there’s blood down there. I know. I can feel it. I can feeleverything.
“Umayyad Caliphate, Yuan dynasty, Xiongny Empire…”
“Rose, listen to me, baby. You’re fine. Please, my love.” Rachel is getting louder. She’s trying to sound reassuring, but her voice is brittle.
I feel her hand in my hair, stroking me. I feel the other rubbing my chest. When did I lie down on the bed? When did I put my head on her lap?
“Come back to me. Please, baby, come back.”
“I’m right here,” I croak. Her lips come to my forehead. “I’m cold.”
“Pass me that hoodie,” she tells someone else. It takes half a second for her to help me sit up and for Lik to slip the hoodie over my head.
Grapefruit, patchouli, and cedar. Sam’s sweater.
I inhale deeply, and my eyes go up, watching Sam…watching me. His arms are crossed, observing me from a position of power, although his eyes are soft when I hold the material close to me like a child’s blankie.
My eyes lower, shame engulfing me at knowing they’ve all just seen me in my worst state. So weak, so vulnerable.
Rachel settles behind me and pulls me until my back is against her chest. She holds me tightly, whispering in my ear. I hear her sniffle, soft sobs accompanying her words. “You scared me. I love you. I love you so much.”
“I’m sorry.” My voice is raspier than usual, broken and desperate. “I’m sorry I scared you.” I put my hand up and behind me, reaching for her cheek without looking. And I wipe her tears with my thumb.
Her head falls in the crook of my neck. “Whatever happened there,” she sobs in my hair. “You’re safe now. You’re safe, okay?”
My eyes cross Sam’s. There’s no regret in his. And why would there be? Technically, it’s not his fault. None of it is. Not his fault I shot Volkov’s father. Not his fault Aleksei and his men spent who knows how long raping and beating me. Not his fault I was sent back to that place by justlookingat zip-ties.
No, there’s no regret in his eyes, and I don’t blame him. What there is, however, is a storm—brewing, growing bigger and bigger by the second. A God preparing for the chaos it’s going to unfurl on the mere humans who touched me against my will. His eyes are not the black they usually are. I see the color, the unbreakable, obsidian black, but there’s something else in them.
Death.
I glance away, too aware of the hatred even though I know it’s not aimed at me. His silence is predictable, and I expect nothing else from him. Not until he’s ready.
Rachel holds me tighter, if that’s even possible, and I relax against her. The feeling of her soft touch mixed with the scent of Sam’s oversized sweater is like I stole a corner of heaven. It feels wrong, because I don’t belong there, yet I can’t help to enjoy it.
I close my eyes and Lik’s voice reaches me in a hushed request. “Do you need anything, princess?” I think it’s becoming one of my favorite things in the universe. His soft, peaceful voice that makes you feel like you’ve trapped a ray of sunshine in a box and it only ever shines for you.
I shake my head until Sam’s stiff words rise into the air. “She needs to hydrate.”
Unlike Lik, it’s like it killed Sam to push the sound past his throat. But he did it for me anyway, just to make sure I’m taken care of. I can’t even feel that I’m thirsty, but I don’t fight him.
“I’ll get her a bottle of water,” Lik says before I hear him step away.
When he comes back, Rachel helps me drink small sips. Sam watches, giving me a pointed look every time I attempt to put it to the side. He stays until I finish the whole bottle. Rachel is caressing my hair from behind, sometimes stopping to make small braids and sometimes dropping kisses on my neck.
Sam gives me a curt nod and leaves the room. I’m a little shocked but I don’t say anything. Lik turns to me and gives me a small smile. “Can I join?” He shakes his head. “I mean…if that’s okay with you, of course.”
I blink slowly, a smile partially pinching the corner of my lips. “Only if I get to be the big spoon.”
He chuckles, a certain relief relaxing his body when he realizes I haven’t lost my smart mouth.
He settles in bed with us. I hold him from the back while Rachel cuddles me. I can feel her shift uncomfortably. She’s still unsure about this whole situation, and so am I. But I’m attracted to all of them. My heart is desperately begging me to let it beat for the three of them.
I’m still trying to figure out how she feels but I know she isn’t in love with them yet. Not like she is with me. I know she’s not attracted to them sexually, and she would have never gone near Lik earlier if it wasn’t for me being in the middle. I think she has feelings for Lik. A strong sense of friendship is developing between the two of them, but I don’t know if she will ever be able to fall in love.
Me? I’m struggling more every day to not have them all in my life. So how the fuck am I meant to go back to Viktor now?
