AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I would have come home with you had you not left so early.”
“I was exhausted,” I lie rather than say I wanted to lose him and meet the girl I love in secret. “And you were drunk. I didn’t think you’d care.”
“Right,” he scoffs. “Well, I spent the night at a friend’s house. I was too drunk to come home, and my wife doesn’t like me drunk,” he repeats bitterly.
Fiancée!I shout in my head.
His excuse makes no sense. We have a driver, and he’s never cared about being drunk in front of me before. So I ignore it.
“Anyway, I got something for you.” Something lands on the sofa next to me, and my stomach churns.
A pregnancy test.
“I-I’m not pregnant.” All the courage and strength I’d found with Sam, Rose, and Lik drains out of my body.
The fears of real life come chasing me. Conor wants me to get pregnant and I keep hiding that I still take the pill.
“How would you know?”
“I had my period two weeks ago.” That’s not even a lie.
“Rachel,” he huffs, his hands getting tighter around my shoulders. “I know you’re not the sharpest tool in the box, but please, will you just try and use your brain sometimes? So many women still get their periods in the first weeks of pregnancy. Just stop acting silly and do the test, will you.”
“But why?” I hate my voice when I speak to him.
“We’re having dinner with your parents tonight. Wouldn’t it be nice to announce great news to your dad?” From behind, he gives me a light slap to the cheek. It doesn’t hurt in the slightest, though the gesture means everything.
“O-okay.” I swallow and grab the box.
I know I’m not pregnant. What would be the chances? I’m on the pill, and I always stall him as much as I can. We don’t have sex that often; it’s actually rare. If we can call it having sex.
Still, the longest three minutes of my life begin when I settle the test next to the bathroom sink after peeing on it.
I watch the liquid reach the testing window, showing that it works when one line shows across it. My eyes keep darting from my phone, counting down the minutes to the results.
Every single woman in their life who has not wanted to be pregnant has been through this. The heaviness in my stomach, the hand on my belly while the other is getting bitten by my mouth. The scenarios. You already imagine texting your closest friend or your mom,we have a problem. OrI need your help, but you can’t tell anyone.
But when you’re being abused? It’s a different type of fear. More profound, with a grasp on you as cold as the reaper himself. It’s a death sentence. Not only knowing you will be stuck—a life growing inside you that you never wanted in the first place—but also knowing that you would bring someone into this world to the same abuser that has turned your life to hell.
I feel so sick, I’m starting to believe I’m pregnant, that this could be morning sickness. I am so terrified that my knees shake and my head spins.
He will have a hold on me forever. He will make me suffer until I’m dead, and there will be no way out for me.
The three hellish minutes end with the beep of my phone. I startle, not daring to look at the test. Then I do because I have to eventually.
Nothing. It’s negative. Of course, it’s negative.
Just in case, I wait another two minutes. Nothing shows. I’m not pregnant. I throw the test in the bin and do my best to wipe off the smile from my face. Time to face the demon.
Opening the bathroom door that leads into our bedroom, I find him watching me. Still in the suit from yesterday.
I shake my head. “Negative.” The anger that crosses his features does nothing to the fear that was gripping me only seconds ago. “I’m sorry,” I add, hoping it will calm him down.
“For heaven’s sake,” he growls. “Why do you have to be so fucking useless.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeat, so meek I want to shoot myself in the face.
“Just drop the robe and get on the bed.”
