AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Do you think that was all necessary?” a nun asks. There’s a connecting door to the Mother Superior’s office, and clearly someone witnessed everything that just happened. Holding my hand over my mouth, I prevent my sob from releasing. I shudder in shame that someone else witnessed how my grandmother just treated me.
“I don’t know,” Grandmother sighs. Gone is the zealous head mistress, and in her place is the person I know she can be. “I want to believe she is worth redemption, but after today, I just don’t know. She was having sex in school,” she says with a gasp.
I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. I can’t believe she believes those awful mean girls.
“I think it’s time for Father Levi to take over her lessons. He is going to train her, punish her, and be in charge of expelling the demons from her. There’s no other reason a child can be this willful and filled with sin,” Grandmother says, sounding tired. “I don’t know what else to do, without sending her away.” Her voice steels, and I know she’s made her decision.
I step away from the wall, unable to hold back the tears once again. I need to get out of here. Just run away. Find someone who can and is willing to help me. I need peace and solitude before I do something permanent that I know I'll regret. I’m already fighting not to slice too deep as it is.
Voices fill my mind as I flee, telling me that there’s solitude in death, a place where no one can hurt me. I shake my head, fighting against the evil thoughts, because I want to find my place in the world. I want to be free. I want to live without being a constant regret to others.
I want to be worthy for her—my Angel. She’s going to need me here in this world, and I won’t let her down, like so many have disappointed me.
I reach the choir room and no one is inside. The piano calls to me and my feet lead me to the bench before I can second guess myself. I take a seat and glide my fingers along the keys, the redness on the back of my hands shine back at me, but I’m so caught up in the music, I don’t feel the pain anymore. I haven’t played in so long.
A soft melody starts to play, and I find myself humming along. I have always loved music. It's been one of the only things to bring me joy. As long as it's not a hymn, that is.
I pour my heart into playing, finding another kind of escape that I usually am only able to find when I’m cutting. A song fills my mind and there’s no one around, so I allow myself this indulgence. I allow the sadness that I’ve been feeling to take over, and let the tears flow as I sing.
JONAS
I’m worried about Chastity, and after talking to the guys, I start searching for her. There’s only so many places she can be. This Academy isn’t that big, unless you go into the underground tunnels and rooms. Then she could be lost for days.
Part of me is fucking livid at Ash. I understand that he wants to keep us safe, but not at the expense of an innocent. My heart clenches at the thought of what her grandmother could have done to her.
I’m walking quickly past the choir room, because it’s not my favorite place, when I hear the voice of an angel. Taking steps backwards, I peer inside.Who is that singing?!
Chastity is playing at the piano, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. There’s no sheet music, but honestly, I don’t think she’d even be able to see it at this rate. My heart breaks as I realize that my friends broke something inside of her. Chastity is inconsolable as she sings, and it reminds me of when my mother sang to me and Juliet.
My mom swayed when she sang and played the piano. When I was younger, I would sit on a pillow and watch her in awe, my eyes wide. I know now that I could have listened to her without opening my eyes so wide, but to me, I wanted to be fully present in her performance.
I never learned how to play the piano, but I always wanted to, so I could feel closer to her. This is when I’m having a good day, and music doesn’t hurt so much.
Today isn’t that kind of day though. I watch Chastity break down as she plays, and it breaks open the dam of emotions that I keep locked inside so I can breathe. Stumbling back, I rush back to my room as tears stream down my own face. I don’t want to run into anyone, and I certainly do not want to have to explain my sadness.
Ash is in my room, waiting, as if he knows I’ll need him. I don’t know how he seems to have this internal radar that tells him when we’re hurting, but he’s always there.
“Jonas, what’s wrong?” he whispers, as he holds me to him.
“I went to find Chastity and she was playing the piano. It was just so sad, and I started to think about my mother. I miss her so much, and everything is so fucked up,” I confess. I gaze into his amber eyes and take a deep breath before asking him something that will change everything.
“Make me forget, Ash. Take this pain away,” I beg him, and he looks hesitant, but nods.
Ash kisses me, knowing I need this. I need to lose myself in his pillowy lips, the feeling of his tongue against mine, and his taste. My mind blanks and my body takes over. My dick is rock hard, and I remember how much I wanted to fuck Ash when I saw Elias the other night.
“Ash,” I groan, moving back a step. “I want to do something… You want me, right?”
Ash nods, licking his lips as he watches me squeeze the tip of my dick through my pants, so I won’t blow. “Will you let me taste you? I need to get lost in you,” I tell him.
Looking slightly nervous, he nods. “Yeah,” he croaks, then clears his throat before gripping the back of my neck and pulling my lips to his, this time kissing me so hard I feel dizzy. He grinds against my hardness and my knees tremble. I pull back and gently reach out to rub him through his shorts.
We have never gone this far before, and I hope this doesn’t ruin things between us. He groans and gazes up at the ceiling mumbling something, then looks back at me and grips my shoulders, gently pushing me down to the floor.
“On your knees, and no talking,” he grunts, and I follow his instructions. I know this is a lot for him, and I love him even more for it. I drop to my knees for him and give him my eyes. They are clouded with memories, and I need him to take them away.
“Don’t hold back, Ash. Use me. Make me forget,” I whisper and he gulps, then pulls his dick out from his shorts. I bite my lip to hold in my groan. He’s tattooed in many places, but I never thought his cock would be.
He rubs the tip against my lips then pulls away. I lick the salty pre-cum and watch as his eyes flare with heat as he gives in to his desires. He smacks my lips this time and I open for him. I’ve never done this before, but I’ve imagined it so many times. I lick him like he’s the best treat I’ve ever had, savoring him, then try to swallow him down. I gag and he grips my hair tight, holding me there, groaning in pleasure. My dick starts to leak in my pants. He allows me a breath, and I reach down to pull my cock out and gently rub the tip. My eyes roll and I moan.
