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Voices greet me immediately and I drop my bag by the door, then race forward. Headache forgotten, I recognize the voices inside the living room. I haven’t heard from him in so long, I thought he had forgotten about me.
My brother, standing there in the living room, holding my daughter is the last thing I thought I'd ever see. “What’s going on?” I whisper. “Why do you have Angel?”
“Chastity,” Jacob mumbles as he spots me. My grandmother turns to face me and she looks pissed, but I don't care. Sleeping in my brother's arms, wearing a little pink sundress and sandals, is my Angel. My reason for living.
I walk forward and open my arms.
“No, Jacob. She has not yet earned her redemption,” my grandmother snaps, but Jacob doesn't listen and gently places my daughter into my waiting arms.
“Grandmother, she’s right here. I don’t care about your idea of redemption right now. It’s cruel for her not to see her. I’ve never liked this form of punishment anyway,” Jacob snaps at her.
I never thought I’d see the day where my brother would stand up for me. In awe, I look down at my beautiful daughter. Her soft brown curls tickle my nose as I lean down and place a kiss onto her head. She smells like heaven and lavender. The tears drip from my face onto her, but I don't care. This is my first time holding my baby, and it would take an earthquake or a SWAT team to pry her from me.
I turn and take a seat on the sofa, ignoring the argument my brother and grandmother are having.
“You’re not helping her right now, Jacob!” Grandmother yells.
Whatever. This is what I need. A reminder to keep going on. A reason to keep waking up every morning.
“Holy shit,” someone coughs from behind me and I freeze. No. No, this can't be happening. I slowly turn to face Ash as he stands there like a statue in the doorway.
He looks between the baby and me and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. I know he's witnessed the argument between my grandmother and brother, and it's all the proof he needs. He knows this is my baby.
“Ash,” I breathe, and he blinks, then moves closer to me. Angel wakes up and makes the cutest little coo that has my dead heart waking up again. Ash sits beside me and gives me his smirk.
“She looks just like you,” he grunts, then leans closer and wipes the tears from my cheek with his thumb.
“I knew you were hiding something, but I never imagined this,” he says, shaking his head.
My cheeks darken with my blush, at the fact my brother and grandmother are witnessing this moment. Ash has always been hard to read, and filled with anger and mistrust. To see him with his guard down is unnerving and surprising.
“You can't mention this to anyone. I planned to tell the others, but I'm not ready yet. This is the first time I've ever held her. I didn't even get to the day she was born,” I mumble, and he gives me an odd look, then nods.
“Okay, Jacob, that's enough time. Take Angel home.”
“No, no please. Just a few more minutes,” I cry, not against begging as I hold her tighter to me.
“I'm sorry, Chas,” Jacob says, then gently pries her out of my arms. I shatter, and when arms wrap around me, holding me tight, I'm shocked to find it's Ash.
“Shh, Princess. It’s okay. I’ve got you,” he whispers as he comforts me, and when the tears dry and I’ve composed myself, I find that we are alone. No Jacob, Angel, or my grandmother. Just a lavender scent that lingers from when I held my baby.
I pull myself together and wrap my arms around myself. I feel empty.
“In all the commotion, I didn't even ask what you were doing here?” I whisper and he snorts.
“Your boyfriend was worried about you and commanded me to follow you.” I smile at how thoughtful Levi is, then sigh.
“He's not my boyfriend. I'm not ready for anything as serious as a relationship. I'm not sure I ever will be, not with everything that’s already happened to me. But I do love spending time with you all. It makes me happy.” I give him a smile and he leans in, as if he's going to kiss me, but stops at the last minute and presses his lips to my forehead, breathing me in.
“Want to tell me how you became a mom? And why you haven’t told anyone?” Ash says quietly against my skin, and I take a deep breath.
“Not really, no, but I will. Not that you’ll believe me. No one ever does. It honestly sounds like a page from a horror movie,” I tell him. He pulls away and gives me a serious look.
“Don't do that. No one deserves to be told they’re a liar when they’re clearly the victim. I always thought it was so odd that your grandmother acted like you were this heinous sinner, when that’s not the case at all. I want to hear your truth, not the narrative everyone tells you is true. Will you trust me with your truth?” Ash asks.
“Someone I once trusted betrayed me. When I found out I was pregnant, my family kept me hidden, to hide the shame of my sins. When it came time for me to give birth, I was held down as I screamed, wracked with the pain of contractions. As soon as I delivered Angel, she was taken from me, and I didn’t get to see her again until just now. I’ve dreamed of holding her, kissing her little face. But now, she’s gone again,” I whisper.
“I’m so sorry, Chastity. Iwon’t tell the guys, but I need something in return,” Ash starts and my stomach flips. I should have known that he wouldn’t just be a good guy. No one ever just does something nice for me. They always expect something in return. It figures that Ash is just like the rest.
