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“Oh, shit…” I mutter under what might be my last breath. The front door starts to open…and I can still breathe. Holy fuck, can I breathe. Seeing Laurence in the flesh, the security light exposing his perfect face as he marches towards one of the cars, I start breathing so fast my lungs hurt.
He’s not alone. Damn. The bodyguard is here. Ned. I should leave. Come back another time. Only my feet won’t, can’t move. I’m paralysed by the sight of him.
Laurence sees me.
He freezes.
I think he says something to Ned, though I don’t hear what.
He’s coming closer. I can almost feel him, remember his touch on my skin. He stops just inches away, the gate and my fear keeping us apart.
You’re here. I’m not sure if I say it out loud or in my head. But he is here. My beautiful, proud movie star. My body becomes hyper aware. I feel the breeze change direction as it sweeps across my cheek. I can smell autumn in the air. Taste the threat of rain. Hear every one of Laurence’s breaths as they leave his open mouth.
“How did you get here?” Laurence asks, looking as confused as I feel.
“I flew.”
He scoffs, glances away. “Funny, aye.”
“N-no. Really, I…I mean I got on a plane. Like three hours ago I was sitting in my, well, Becca’s dining room.” And now I’m here, with a hefty dent on my credit card, aching to touch you.
“Oh.”
My hand reaches out, grazing the gate, my fingers curling around the cold metal. My eyes haven’t left his, don’t think they could if I wanted them to, though he doesn’t return it. I sense movement below us. Then, I feel warmth on my hand, the heat of Laurence’s palm soaking mine, and I remember how good that warmth felt all over my body. On my cheeks, on my chest, my back, gripping my arse.
“What are you doing here?” Laurence asks, looking at our touching hands, almost as if he’s too afraid to meet my eyes.
“I came to see you.”
He nods slowly. “Here I am.”
“I…I messed up, Laurence. I panicked.”
“Aye. You do that a lot,” he says with a hint of a smile.
“You asked why I’m here, well, I’m here to explain. To apologise. I’m here, Laurence, to be with you.” I clamp my other palm on top of his in a hand sandwich, holding him tight. My lungs empty with a shudder. “Am I too late?”
I push past the anxiety chewing its way through my heart and focus on his eyes. Those pools of blue finally stare back at me, and I stop feeling the autumn chill on my cheeks. The darkness disappears and the metal barrier doesn’t exist. For his eyes take me back to the south of France, and we’re lying in bed, side by side, with all the time in the world in front of us. “No, William. You’re right on time.”
It's difficult to smile with trembling lips but I try, nonetheless. “Laurence…” I reach through the bars, grab his shoulders. “This gate is making it terribly hard to kiss you.”
Laurence chuckles, steps to one side and keys in a code. The gate whirs and peels apart and, as soon as a big enough gap appears, I grab the neck of Laurence’s shirt and pull him towards me, kissing him hard on the mouth.
Those lips. So firm. So smooth. Our tongues tangle, tasting each other. The kiss is rough. Impatient. Overdue.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much,” he whispers, breaking for air.
I crash back into him, needing more.
“Missed the taste of you.”
I kiss him again.
“The feel of you.”
And again, while pushing him backwards towards the house. But then he stops, pulling away properly. “What are you still doing here, Ned?”
Crap. I’d forgotten Ned existed. Hiding my grin, and embarrassment, I turn my face.
“Well, you were blocking the exit having your, you know, moment.”
Laurence takes hold of the strings of my hoody, starts dragging me with him to the front door. “Well, Ned, I really don’t think you’re gonnae want to witness our next moment.”
Oh, God.
“Right.” Ned clears his throat. “Got it. I’ll be off then.”
I don’t see Ned leave. It’s hard to see anything with Laurence’s hands clamping my face to his. He pulls me into his house, walks me down a long hallway. We stumble often, laughing as we catch ourselves on the wall.
“You smell good,” I say into his neck, inhaling deeply before kissing along the tender skin. My fingers pinch at the hem of his shirt, hitching it up his chest, as my mouth explores every part of him.
I haven’t noticed where we’ve been going but find myself being pushed backwards onto a couch. Laurence’s shirt is gone, and I’m quick to join him, keen to feel his warm skin on mine. At first, the cool leather shocks my back, but the moment Laurence straddles my legs and our flesh becomes one, my thoughts dissolve.
