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“What did your father think of Brett?” I asked, suddenly wanting to know.
“Brett can be quite the charmer. He’s smart and worldly, and he won Dad over at first…” He trailed off. “But my father warned me in the end that Brett would hurt me. And like I said, I ignored the signs. I didn’t want to believe him.”
It made sense, considering the type of relationship he and his father had. I wondered if he’d been quite the rebellious teenager as well. Though given his personality and drive, Rowan likely toed the line. Felt he had something to prove.
“And that’s why you don’t do relationships,” I said. “Outside of the hassle of having to explain your preferences to someone new and then believing nothing can last. Because Brett ruined your trust. Your dad was right in the end, and that really haunts you.”
“Maybe.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “The truth is, I’ve been numb since my father died and Brett left. I haven’t really felt much of anything, so I threw myself into work.”
I smirked. “You don’t seem numb to me.”
“Suppose I should thank you for that.” A wash of color arose on his cheeks. “You showed me that hookups aren’t so bad. They have their time and place.”
I gripped my chest in mock exaggeration. “You mean I helped you jump back on the horse? I’ll try not to gloat.”
“You’re impossible.” He chuckled as he reached for the check.
I stilled his hand with mine. “Please, let me for once? This was my idea, after all.”
He didn’t move as he stared at me. When he finally nodded, I breathed out.
He was definitely spot on that I needed to feel useful, but hell if I’d outright admit that to him. It might ruin our rivalry, and I was enjoying it too much even if half the time it wasn’t even real anymore.
We were busy the rest of the day, organizing all the looks once we returned to Kendall’s house. The crew ate dinner as a group that night and even shared a couple of bottles of wine before retiring to bed.
Much like the night before, I waited until the house was quiet before sneaking into Rowan’s room. His reluctance only lasted a few seconds before he pinned me to the wall and devoured my lips as we got each other off with our hands. We didn’t mention our talk that afternoon, but it hung in the air between us. Only to be punctuated by nearly colliding with Naomi in the hallway when I was leaving Rowan’s room. Fuck. I opened my mouth to offer an excuse, but we weren’t on friendly terms, so I just scurried across the hall, fear overtaking me that I’d ruined everything. Even if Kendall wouldn’t care, Rowan did. It bothered him, and that meant something.
18
The photo shoot went off without a hitch, but it made for a long day. Still, everyone seemed in good spirits by the end, if exhausted. Kendall made reservations at a fancy restaurant in Beverly Hills for the crew that night, and the paparazzi were on full display. It was a bit intimidating, but at least I wasn’t the one they were salivating after. Rowan made sure she looked camera-ready, knowing there might be photographers on hand at the popular location. That bag of supplies he always carried for mishaps or touchups definitely came in handy.
As soon as Kendall stepped out of her vehicle, she was in her element, charming everyone she encountered on the way inside. Our car had arrived first, and we watched from the lobby as she posed for photos alongside her childhood friends, who didn’t seem to mind the attention.
The food was fantastic, and the drinks kept flowing, so I was feeling nice and buzzy by the end of dinner. It would be tough to return to my usual fare of PB&Js after this.
As Rowan pulled up his app to order our ride back, plans were made to join Kendall on her veranda for a nightcap. Tony begged off, meeting friends again at another club.
I briefly considered joining him until Rowan said in a lower register, “I’d like to take you somewhere for our last night.”
The way he said it had a finality to it, like he was saying that this thing between us would end after this trip. I looked into his eyes and felt the confirmation in my bones.
“You know this is not sustainable.”
“Okay.” At this point, I would go anywhere if it meant spending alone time with him.
As we got in the car, the mood was tense, further validating my feeling.
“Tranquility Drive,” he said to the driver, and when he pulled onto the road, Rowan settled beside me on the seat. “I thought you might want to see the ocean.”
We’d been so busy that I hadn’t even considered it. Casey had promised we’d get to the Jersey shore this summer, and I was definitely looking forward to it. “I would love that. Thank you.”
