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Just like I’d expected, but that didn’t stop me from reliving his words.
You’ll take my whole heart…
God, that did something to me. If only it had been real.
“You’re as close to a celebrity as we’re going to get around here,” Mabel said from behind the counter of the general store. It was obvious Mom had told everyone I worked on the Kendall Jacobs Show. Not anymore… But I was too chicken to admit it to them yet.
I laughed. “That’s not saying much.”
“Well, it’s nice to see you looking happier.”
That was interesting since, at that moment, I was feeling fairly miserable. “Thanks.”
I drove back to my parents’ house, trying to appreciate the nice weather and pretty scenery. My dad planned an early morning fishing trip with my brothers and me this weekend, something I didn’t used to look forward to, but maybe it would be different this time.
I did appreciate Mom’s cooking every evening, and she even tried to include some of my favorites.
“What’s wrong, honey?” she asked as I helped her chop vegetables for a salad to go with her delicious chicken pot pie.
“Why do you ask?” Had I spaced out or something?
“Because I know my son. And it looks like something’s been on your mind. Or a certain someone?”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don’t have time for a relationship right now.”
“Uh-huh.” She pushed my hair behind my ear as she studied me. “I think you like to tell yourself that, but I have a feeling there’s more to the story than you’re letting on.”
I considered spilling my guts, but what would it solve? It was time to move on. In fact, I hadn’t shared much at all with my family since arriving, avoiding the topic by catching up on their lives.
Right then, my idiot twin brothers, Connor and Michael, walked in and grappled for the plate of cookies Mom had baked for dessert. She swatted at them with her dish towel. “It’ll ruin your dinner. Go get cleaned up.”
They still lived at home, which pleased Mom because she could keep an eye on them. Kathleen had moved out years ago, but she and her boyfriend lived only a few minutes away. Usually, he’d be joining us for dinner around this time, but today he was away, visiting family.
The twins were followed by Dad, who looked tired from his day, his sweat-soaked dark hair sticking to his temples. He kissed Mom on the cheek, making sure not to linger too close before he went upstairs to shower.
Once the guys changed and Kathleen wandered out of the office, which was really just the guest room, to join us for dinner, they digested their day as only a family who owned a business together could. I felt that hollow pang in my gut again that I didn’t measure up or fit in.
Mom patted my hand across the table, so she must’ve seen something in my expression. “Okay, enough business talk for today.”
The table grew silent as everyone dug into their food.
“God, I missed your cooking. I’ve been eating so much junk.”
“You live in a huge city with tons of restaurants,” Kathleen pointed out.
“Yeah, but it gets pricey.” I shrugged. “Not everything is all it’s cracked up to be.”
“So then, what made you want to escape to the city in the first place?” Connor asked as Michael smacked the back of his head for stealing his cornbread muffin. Another favorite of Mom’s recipes.
“Boys!” Dad said, and they immediately stopped messing around. He had that effect on them, much like he did on me.
Muffins or not, these two were always in competition with each other. When they weren’t busy killing each other, they were the best of friends, something that had made me a bit jealous as a kid. I was closer to Kathleen, but not enough to share my deepest secrets.
“I didn’t escape,” I replied. “The truth is, you fit here in Stockton, and I never did.”
Connor looked sheepish as he buttered his muffin, then stuffed a bite in his mouth.
“Give your brother a break,” Dad said. “I’d hoped all my kids would want to join the business, but it’s okay if Shae has other aspirations.”
“Thanks, Dad.” He’d seemed to soften a bit since their trip to the city, and I appreciated that. During phone calls home, he’d even asked me more specific questions about my job—and about the city, if he happened to hear an interesting tidbit in the news—whereas the first question Mom always had for me was about Rowan, and sometimes about Casey too. Rowan had obviously left an impression on her, which sucked because it made it harder to admit I’d walked away.
“Aspirations to work on a fancy show and hobnob with celebrities,” Kathleen said with a wink.
“I was lucky to get that opportunity, even if I didn’t like some aspects of it.” I took a breath. No time like the present. “Speaking of which…the show is currently on summer break, and I, uh, figured it was the perfect time to quit.”
