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He was mistaken. “I stayed away from people because I could hear their sick thoughts, and it terrified me.” I’d had no idea what was going on or that I was a Seer.
“Perhaps so, but I know what you believed. And,” he paused, “I know what I felt. Every time you were around me or King, you were feeding off us. Off our abilities. I was drawn to you, yes, but you drew us in, too. You drew King to you in a storm. You drew me to you.”
“That’s insane.”
“Is it? Think about how much stronger you feel in our presence. Think about how you were attracted to King but could not understand it. You secretly crave our power. That is what you said.”
I didn’t believe any of this.
“Right after you gave birth, you figured out what your Seer abilities really are—you saw it all in a vision—and then you realized Draco was like you and had killed your baby girl.” Ansin paused for a long breath. “That’s when you begged me to make you forget about her. You said you couldn’t look at Draco, knowing he’d killed his sister. You begged me, but I said no.
“Then things got worse. When you tried to hold him and feed him, he started draining you, too. He almost killed your father when he showed up to meet his grandchild. After a week, you asked me to take Draco away and make sure he couldn’t hurt anyone else again.”
“No. That can’t be right. I remember him being so sweet, and—I wouldn’t give him up like that.” My knees trembled. My heart felt like it was disintegrating to ash.
“Not unless you saw something, Jeni. Which you did. You saw something terrible coming. So I took him away, as you asked.”
My mind scrambled, but how could I trust any of this? I had no memory of it. “I can’t just take your word for it, Ansin.”
“I know.”
“Which is why I’m here.” King walked in, looking unhappy.
“You’re still alive too?” What the fuck!
“Clearly,” King said. “I wanted to know for certain that Draco was in safe hands before my departure.”
So he’d lied. He went looking anyway. “Where the fuck is Draco?” I asked.
King and Ansin exchanged glances.
“What?” My heart dropped.
“He’s dead,” Ansin said.
“You killed him?”
“No.” Ansin held out his hands. “I cared for him. For almost eight weeks, which you knew about. I attempted to find a safe home, but there was nowhere to place him. And each day, he screamed and cried. He wanted more than simple food. He wanted to take my life, and I gave him what I could, but it wasn’t enough. I did my best.”
“He’s dead?” I muttered in disbelief.
“Yes. And it was the very last straw for you. You were…beyond consoling. It was why I finally agreed to abide by your wishes to take away your pain. I wanted to erase all memory of your children, but you said it wouldn’t work. You’d given birth, and your body held a record of it.”
My scars.
He continued, “So you gave me a list and told me specifically what you wanted to remember and what you wanted to forget. You also wrote out a script for me to read right before you took Sage’s dream potion—six beautiful months with Draco. That’s what you dreamed of. And then, I was to make you believe he had been taken.” He looked thoroughly distraught. “I am very sorry, Jeni. Sorry that I failed you. You were supposed to believe that you and I had done absolutely everything possible to find him. When that proved unsuccessful, which you thought it might, you instructed me to go to plan B and make you believe you’d taken him for his own good. It was the only outcome you felt would make sense and permit you to move on. Eventually.”
So the entire thing was a charade—the kidnapping, having me run around chasing fake leads, and bringing me to the conclusion that I’d hidden my own baby. A baby that I remembered being sweet and joyful instead of evil.
“I am very sorry,” Ansin repeated and then glared at King. “Sorry that this sonofabitch actually returned from the dead again and fucked everything up.”
I fell to my knees. This was worse than I could imagine. “I want to remember. I want this shit removed from my head.” I wanted my memories back. All of it. Because there was no way in hell I was going to take King’s or Ansin’s word that my babies were gone. I needed the truth.
“I cannot, Jeni,” Ansin said.
King crouched down next to me. “Ansin refuses to remove his handiwork. He doesn’t have the balls to witness you suffer all over again.”
I looked up into King’s cold gray eyes.
“But nothing would give me greater pleasure, Hagne,” King said.
