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“I pursued the case. If I hadn’t, my son would still be here,” I argue.
“No, you’re looking at it wrong. You’re blaming yourself for something that was out of your control. Christian Baxter is the one who ordered those men to beat you. He’s at fault, not you. He stole your baby. You didn’t lose him.”
I get up out of bed and cross the room before pulling him into a tight hug, not having realized just how much I’d missed his stupid face. It’s been way too long. “Thanks, kid. But you don’t understand,” I whisper, refusing to let him go as the tears threaten to spill again.
“You’re being an idiot,” he tells me. I can practically hear him rolling his eyes as he hugs me back. He makes it quick before finally dropping his arms away. “Goodnight, Soph. Try to get some sleep.” With that, he gives me an encouraging smile before backing out of my room, gently closing the door as he goes.
With a sigh, I take my pain meds and squish my head into my pillow. As a lone tear falls from my eye, I realize just how big and empty being alone in my bed really feels. I stretch my hand out over to the other side, the place that, up until tonight, would have been occupied by my husband, while wondering if I’ve really made the right decision.
I allow myself to drift into a dreamless sleep, wishing things could be different. Wishing I hadn’t made such piss-poor decisions, and wishing my son was still safely cradled in my arms beneath my skin.
Chapter 13
TANK
I step off the ice after the first game of the season. We absolutely annihilated the other team, and to say gaining my first win as captain was fucking epic would be a big fucking understatement. But no matter how good it was, it didn’t feel right without Soph sitting up in the crowd, cheering me on. I looked up so many times during the game out of habit, only to see the empty spot beside Dani.
With a sigh, I get on with the after-game duties and go through a quick interview to please the media before making my way past the fans and signing a few jerseys that are thrust into my face. Once I make it down into the locker room with the boys, I can finally relax. Well, sort of. The guys are on one hell of a high. Backs are being slapped, crude jokes are thrown around the room, and asses are being whipped with wet towels. You know, the usual locker room bullshit.
I strip out of my gear as the boys decide we need to head out and party tonight. I reluctantly agree, only to set a good example for the boys, but they know I won’t be staying long. Not with Sophie at home alone, needing me.
I rush through a shower and gather my things before Miller and I make our way out of the locker room and meet up with Dani.
She instantly jumps up into Miller’s arms and kisses him like they’ve been separated for the past four years. The sight makes me groan, but mostly it just reminds me that Sophie isn’t here. Usually, she’d be the one throwing herself at me, but my girl doesn’t have the same self-control as Dani. Sophie would have bulldozed her way through the crowd, past security, and into the locker room to try and jump me in front of the boys. I fucking love it.
I miss my Sophie. I miss her smile and her heart. Lately, I feel like I don’t even have that. I don’t want to lose her. I can’t. Without her, I’ll crumble.
Miller looks down at Dani with adoration in his pussy-whipped eyes. “Are you up to party with the boys tonight?” he questions.
“No, actually,” she sighs with a slight cringe. “I’m actually kind of tired. I thought I’d let the babysitter go home early.”
“Okay,” he murmurs. “I won’t stay out too late,” he adds, but it isn’t because he doesn’t want to celebrate. We all know it’s because Mia isn’t sleeping great at night, which means the fucker is exhausted. He doesn’t want to go out tonight just as much as I don’t, only he doesn’t have a great excuse.
“Alright,” she says, giving him a quick kiss. “I’ll see you guys later,” she adds before turning away.
“Hey,” I call out to her, watching as she turns back. “Could you check in with Sophie?”
“Sure,” she says with sadness in her eyes. “But you know, she’s kind of been avoiding me.”
“I know,” I sigh, feeling that same ache that Sophie does every time Miller and Dani are around. “Don’t take it personally. She just finds it hard to see you with Mia. It reminds her of . . . you know.”
