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I crawl out of bed and walk around to Sophie’s side before sitting on the edge. “Babe,” I say as she turns and gives me a nervous look, hesitation in her beautiful eyes. “Come here.”
She slowly walks over to me, and I take hold of her hips between my legs. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
Her eyes fall from mine as a broken sigh escapes her lips. “You deserve better,” she says over a lump in her throat as tears well in her eyes. “It’s my fault. All of it. If it weren’t for me pursuing that story, we’d still have our baby. My actions are what led to his death. I don’t know how you can even stand to be around me. Every time you look at me, I see it in your eyes. You’re just as broken as I am, and I can’t even be there for you because I’m so fucking destroyed. How could you ever love me when I’ll never be able to love myself?”
Her words tear at the broken pieces of my fractured heart as red-hot fury burns through my veins. “You’re running away, after everything we’ve been through. Leaving some bullshit note on the counter for me to find after my game, and running home with a shitty excuse like that?”
“It’s not an excuse,” she argues.
I let out a sigh, trying not to lose my shit at her as I hold onto her tighter, terrified she might disappear. I stand up and back her against the wall, making sure she only has me to focus on. “It is. What happened to you is not your fault. Yes, you fucked up. You shouldn’t have taken the case, especially when I asked you not to. But that does not mean it’s your fault. Not for one second have I ever blamed you, and I wish for once that you would just hear me,” I tell her. “I fucking love you, Sophie, and I refuse to let you leave over this. I need you. Without our son, you are all I have left in this world, and I will not live in it without you.”
The tears in her eyes fall over her lashes and leave streaks down her beautiful face as she looks up at me, a world of pain behind her eyes.
I swipe my thumb across her cheek, wiping away the tears as I press myself closer to her, the overwhelming grief clear in both of our eyes. “Christian Baxter is the man who did this to you, to us. He’s the one to blame, and he’s the one who is going to pay.”
Those eyes focus heavily on mine. “You really feel that way?” she asks with hope. “You don’t blame me?”
“Not even for a second,” I breathe. “I have never lied to you, Sophie, and I’m not about to start now. You’re my world, my whole fucking life. You always have been, since the very first day in the campus gym. I swore I was never going to let you slip through my fingers, so if you really want to leave, you better be fucking prepared to fight for it, because I’m not about to let you just walk out the door. I want this. You and me. I’m not about to let you give up on us. I understand that you’re broken and that the pain is just . . . you don’t know how to deal with it, and I get it. I can’t fucking breathe when I think about everything we lost, all the things we’ll never be able to experience with our son. It brings me to my knees, but I need you, Sophie. I’m fucking trying to hold it together for you, be strong for you, but I can’t keep holding on without you.”
Tears flow from her eyes as she throws her good arm around my neck, pulling me in as her lips fuse to mine. I kiss her deeply, having so desperately missed this connection with her. I taste her tears in our kiss but I don’t fucking care as I hold onto her with everything that I am. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs through our kiss. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
After pulling back, I rest my forehead against hers. “I should have been there more. You’re hurting so much, and I feel like I’m failing you. Every time I look at you, it kills me that I can’t take your pain away.”
She pulls me in again, and I wrap my arms around her as she nuzzles her face into my chest, her tears falls from her cheeks onto my chest. “This is helping,” she murmurs. “I feel like I’m coming home.”
My eyes close as I hear those sweet, sweet words. Nothing in this world has ever felt better. Sophie relaxes into me, and I pull us back to the bed, sitting on the edge as she curls up in my lap.
