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There was the slightest bit of tension in Eli’s body, and I knew immediately what he was worried about. His own family and what my presence meant for them. “I don’t think that the people who killed my mother and brother are cartel.”
Eli’s eyes narrowed. I geared up for him to tell me that what I believed was bullshit. It was what my father had done. My therapist. Everyone.
“Why not?”
I shrugged. “I just don’t.” I was telling Eli more than I’d planned, and I was not ready to give everything up. “The cartel had no reason to kill them. Plus, the situation was sloppy.”
Eli said nothing, but I could practically see the questions lingering behind his eyes. “There’s no danger to your family,” I assured. I chuckled slightly. “Unless my father figures out that we’ve been screwing.” I drew a few aimless shapes on his chest. “He might kill you if he knows that.”
I expected Eli to chuckle, but he was stoic.
“Please don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Eli asked.
“Don’t pity me. I don’t want it, and I don’t need it.” That was why I didn’t want anyone in New York to know what happened to me. Yes, I wanted the freedom to try and figure out what happened on my own, even if there was literally nothing for me to work with. But because I wanted a taste of normalcy.
I expected Eli to tell me that he didn’t pity me. That was what people normally said when I pressed the issue. But Eli just pulled me closer and placed a tender kiss on my head. “Thanks for telling me.”
Eli said nothing more about the subject. He simply held me close. The feeling of being in his arms was one of safety, and I allowed his warmth to lull me to sleep.
Despite everything, I felt safe.
CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT
Returning home from Boston was more difficult than normal. For three whole days, Carla and I could pretend. I’d done what I needed to do, and then, we’d explored the city together.
We’d gone to museums and parks, soaking up the warm summer sun. We ate pasta and drank expensive wine, and at night, I’d licked ice cream from her body, using my tongue and cock to lull her to dreamless sleep.
Things were, for better or worse, normal. And I craved normalcy. It was the only thing ever denied to me, which made me want it even more.
I grunted at the feeling of a hard fist catching me in the stomach. “What the fuck?” I breathed out, rubbing the spot where Matteo had punched me. Since I’d returned, my brother had been on a fucking tear demanding to talk to me.
“Get your head out of your ass.” His normally jovial eyes were filled with anger, which gave me pause. Matteo was never angry. That wasn’t like him. Looking past him, I glanced at Luca, who was also watching me with a look of concern.
“What the fuck is your problem?” I asked.
I’d avoided Matteo for a few days, but I hadn’t been able to keep him at arm’s length, and I didn’t want to. He was my baby brother after all, and if he needed me, I was there.
“My problem is that you two have become so fucking pussy whipped that you can’t seem to remember we have a business to run.”
Luca and I shared a glance. Clearly, neither of us had any idea what the fuck Matteo was talking about. The only thing the three of us had ever run was the fight club, which was defunct now that our fathers discovered it.
“You want to explain what crawled up your ass?” Luca asked, surprisingly calm.
Not that it helped, Matteo shot him a glare before pulling out a USB drive. “Remember how you wanted me to dig shit up on Carla?”
I sighed. Of course this was about Carla. Ever since her freak out at the party, Matteo had been like a dog with a bone. It was out of character for him, and I suspected it had more to do with Sophia’s presence than anything else.
“I told you to drop that.”
I had no qualms about digging into Carla’s past, but there was no need to. She’d told me her secret. At least, as much as she could. And after witnessing her nightmares, I knew I couldn’t keep digging, especially now that I knew the truth.
But from the expression on Matteo’s face, he wasn’t happy about the order. “Fuck that. I don’t answer to you, and that girl has secrets.”
The anger that always lingered below the surface ignited. Luca was looking at me with a small smirk on his face, and I knew he was enjoying this. If there was one thing you could always count on when it came to my cousin, it was his penchant for mischief.
“Don’t push me on this,” I bit out. I flexed my finger against my side as I tried to calm the anger that was beginning to consume me. “I told you to drop it.”
