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“Yes, she was. Of course, she was,” he repeated like a plea. “She loved you. So did Sadie Jo. Over the years, your mom and she stayed in touch, and while I wouldn’t say they got close or anything, Sadie Jo did confide in her that she was never able to get over the hurt of giving you up for adoption.”
Gray knew he should try to see this through Sadie Jo’s very young eyes, but he just couldn’t. Not with the hurt and the emotions so fresh and raw; they were slicing him to pieces.
“When Sadie Jo found out she was sick with leukemia,” his father went on, “she bought this ranch so she’d have something to leave to you. She knew it wouldn’t make up for what she did, but she wanted you to have something from her.”
“Something from her,” Gray repeated, his voice flat now. “Even though I didn’t live here.”
“True, but Sadie Jo figured you’d eventually return since Last Ride is your home.”
Gray had no idea if that last part was even true. It had been his home.Had been.But now it felt as if the past was closing in around him.
“I always figured the reason you left town was because you didn’t want to cause trouble for Alana,” his father continued. “I mean, what with the way her folks felt about you and all.”
“It was the reason I left,” Gray admitted. “And I broke Alana’s heart in the process.”
“Because you were trying to protect me,” she quickly reminded him.
He looked at her, wanting to believe that was true. And maybe it was. But maybe he just hadn’t wanted to deal with the flak with her folks. He couldn’t blame it on his young age, either. Because if he made allowances for that, then he’d also have to make allowances for Sadie Jo, who would have only been three years older when she’d given him up for adoption.
“Did Sadie Jo and you pick up where you left off after that wedding reception?” Gray asked.
“No,” he said, his father’s voice a ragged whisper. “I was only with Sadie Jo that one time.”
Gray cursed, and even though his father had opened his mouth to continue, Gray waved him off. He couldn’t listen to any more of this. Couldn’t take any more.
“I have to go,” Gray managed to say despite the fist-sized lump in his throat.
He gave Alana’s hand a quick squeeze and headed out the door. Gray had one question on his mind as he walked away. Just one.
What the hell was he going to do now?
CHAPTER SIX
WHATWASSHEgoing to do now?
That was the question going through Alana’s mind while she drove to the Hilltop Cemetery to get that research photo of Sadie Jo’s tombstone.
Actually, that specific question had been eating away at her for the past twenty-four hours. And even longer—since Gray had come back to Last Ride and had his world turned upside down.
Of course, her own world had tipped on its axis as well. Not in the horrible way that Gray’s had, but the tipping wasn’t much of a surprise since Gray was part of that world. At least he had been since his return. Before that, well, he’d been part of it, too. She understood that now. Just because Gray hadn’t been physically there in her life and in Last Ride, it didn’t mean he hadn’t been with her.
Because she was in love with him.
Alana could see that. She had been in love with Gray since they were teenagers, and that love hadn’t died when he left town. Nope. Her feelings for him had just stayed dormant until Gray returned. Maybe the great sex had caused them to resurface and come back even stronger, but she suspected they would have come back even if she’d stuck to that vow she’d made in the support group.
At the thought of the support group, she used her hands-free to send a text to the group leader to confess she’d broken that vow and would continue to break it with Gray if the opportunity arose.
She truly hoped the opportunity arose.
Alana added to the text that she’d still attend the tune-up meetings if she decided she needed them. Right now, that need was up in the air and would depend on how things played out with Gray.
It was possible Gray would dump her again. Equally possible that her heart would shatter again. But no way would she go back in time and change having sex with the man she loved all to avoid a possible broken heart.
With that somewhat dismal revelation running through her head, Alana pulled into the cemetery parking lot, and she had a déjà vu moment when she immediately spotted Gray’s truck. Various parts of her body did those little happy leaps, but the happiness quickly bottomed out because he was probably here to try to work through what had happened.
Alana started to circle around the parking lot and leave when she spotted Gray. Looking exactly like the hot cowboy of her hottest dreams, he was coming down the path.
“Wait,” he called out to her.
