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I hate having her name in his fucking mouth. I hate that he knows anything about her at all. I glance at my watch, thankful that Alanna is in a meeting right now. I don’t even want him seeing her. “My office is not some goddamn playground,” I snap. “You can’t just go wherever the fuck you please. Besides, you two broke up, didn’t you? Am I just supposed to let you harass my employees?”
“It’s just a misunderstanding,” Ryan says. “It’s just temporarily. I hurt her, but I’ll make it up to her.”
Like hell he will. I won’t give him the chance. “Why did you break up? What did you do to her?”
Ryan tenses and shakes his head. “I said some things I didn’t mean, but I’ll make it up to her, and she’ll forgive me. Just please, Silas. Reinstate my access to this floor and please stop limiting my credit card transactions. I tried to send her a large bouquet of flowers today and couldn’t even do that.”
I frown at him, my finger tapping on my desk. Alanna never told me what he did to her and I didn’t want to upset her by questioning her. If it truly is a misunderstanding, is there a chance she might forgive him?
“So this is all about the money?” I ask. Does he think I’ll lift the restrictions on his card if he leads me to believe he wants to spend money on Alanna? What game is my little brother playing? Was I truly wrong about him?
Ryan grits his teeth and shakes his head. “No, Silas. It isn’t. Not entirely, but yes, that’s one of the reasons I’m here. When you bought Mom out and took back the house and all our assets, you told me I wouldn’t be impacted by it at all, and that I wouldn’t lose the lifestyle I’d gotten accustomed to. You swore to me I’d always have a place to live and that I’d never have to worry about money, so long as I got my act together and stopped partying and drinking. You told me to be a person you could be proud of, and I tried. I’ve done all I could. I barely drink, I only go out every few weeks, I work for you at Sinclair Security, and I even volunteer once a month. Yet you randomly restricted my credit card. I don’t understand what I’ve done.”
I stare at him, wondering if he truly is innocent or if he approached Alanna knowing what she means to me. Was it his mother’s orchestrations, or was he in on it? If he’s innocent, then I can’t hurt him more than I already have. I can’t break the promise I made my father.
I run a hand through my hair, torn. I don’t want Alanna to remember her past when her brain decided that she’s best off without those memories. I don’t want to put her through pain or risk distorting her memories, so I can’t let him know about my past with her if he truly is unaware. So far, he hasn’t given me any indication that he knows about us, but can I trust him? I’m starting to worry that Amy is right about him. I’ve been so focused on the fact that he’s my only remaining family member that I’ve turned a blind eye to too many things.
“Your credit card is for dinner, groceries, that kind of thing. It isn’t for large purchases, that’s what I gave you a job for. So why is it you took out 10k in cash?”
Ryan shifts his weight from one foot to the other nervously. “I… um,” he stammers, clearly flustered. Maybe I wasn’t wrong about him at all. He isn’t that good of a liar. If he knew about Alanna and me, he’d have let it slip already.
“I’m not lifting the restrictions until you can tell me what you used the money for. Until then, I need you to get back to work. Do not fuck around at work, Ryan. Do not come here during working hours if you don’t have a legitimate reason to be here. You’re not exempt from maintaining professional standards just because you’re my brother. Iwillfire you.”
He looks at me contritely and nods before turning away, his shoulders slumped. The more I observe him, the more certain I am that he’s just a puppet in his mother’s schemes. He’s just an angry kid, like I once was. Mona must have pushed him toward Alanna, but to what end?
ChapterForty-One
Alanna
I step into the hallway and pause in front of the mirror, my heart racing as memories of Silas and me dance through my mind. I can’t look into this mirror without thinking of the way he bent me over in front of it, his eyes on mine as he pushed inside me.
The dress I’m wearing tonight hangs around my frame loosely, and I bite down on my lip harshly as I reach for the zipper on the back. I sigh softly as I stare at my reflection, admitting defeat to the little zipper that refuses to budge.
“Need help?”
I freeze when Silas walks up to me, pausing once he’s stood behind me. His eyes find mine through the mirror, our position similar to that night.
“You’re home.” We’ve been living together for a few weeks now, and in that time, he’s been home at night no more than a handful of times. I see him every morning, but never in the evenings. I’m unsure if he just works late every day, or if he’s spending his nights elsewhere.
My gaze roams over his body through the mirror, a dull ache spreading through my chest at the thought of him spending his nights in someone else’s bed. It’s irrational, and it’s crazy, but I can’t help the tinge of jealousy I feel. I keep trying to remind myself that sleeping with him is something I should be ashamed of, something I should regret, but being here in his home just makes me want it more.
Silas takes a step closer to me, his fingers trailing over my bare back as he takes his time to do my zipper up. “Where are you going, dressed like this?” His tone is commanding, a hint of possessiveness laced through it.
“The bar around the corner from the office.”
“With who?”
Silas places his hands on my shoulders and looks at me, our reflection staring back at us. Does he feel what I feel?
“Why do you ask?”
He smirks and turns me around, making me face him. Can he tell that I’m nervous? My chest rises and falls rapidly, my body tense. Being this close to him in this private space unnerves me. It makes it so much harder to pretend I don’t want him.
“Why can’t I ask?”
I smile at him nervously. “Jessica asked me to come. She told me the company does a mixer every month, so I thought it’d be good to go.” I haven’t really been able to get on well with my colleagues. Since I’m part of the ψ division, I’m not allowed to talk about any of the work I do, which makes it so much harder to have a conversation with any of my colleagues. It doesn’t help that rumors spread about Ryan and me dating, so now everyone thinks I’m only here because of him. I’m hoping tonight will give me a chance to set the record straight, if nothing else.
Silas nods. “I’ll drive you.”
