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I see Lara’s eyes light up as Sabine hands her the gift, so I walk towards them to watch her receive it. Lara opens the plain cover that is unmarked without any title and inside is an inscription from Loreto:
Lara,
I’m so proud to be your big brother. I was ten years old the day you were born and from the moment I saw you, I knew I would protect you every day of your life. We have always stuck together through the good and the bad, and there sure has been a lot of the bad. I remember the happy times when we cooked with Mom and were free to play and actually be kids. I’m glad we had our special hiding spot that kept us safe when our father’s wrath got the best of him. You were too young to remember, but our father was kind once. When you were born, he was so happy and proud to have a daughter. That was back when he loved our mother and us, before greed hardened his heart and before power became the only thing he cared about. We were a happy family once and I’m sad that you don’t have those memories. But now that you have Christian, my hope for you is that you can build a family of your own that creates loving memories every day of your life. You deserve that happiness, which is why I pushed for this marriage between you and Christian. He’s a good man with a loyal heart who’s been like a brother to me. He’s the only one I would trust with my little sister if for some reason I wasn’t around to protect you. I found this book of our mother’s recipes and I knew it would make a perfect wedding gift for you. Each time you cook cassata cake or all the other special things that Mother made with us, I hope it makes you smile and fills you with hope to know that love is real and it’s there for you to lean on. It will protect you and be your strength when times are hard. I love you, Lara. I always have and I always will, as long as I’m alive and even after I’m gone.
Your big brother,
Loreto
I seea tear roll down Lara’s cheek and an unexpected smile appears on her face. And just like that, new life is breathed into her and color returns to her cheeks. She sits up straight and hugs Sabine, thanking her for keeping this special gift safe. She hugs the recipe book close to her chest before looking up at me. “Can we cook?” she says to me.
“Nothing would make me happier,” I say as I reach out my hand to help her to her feet.
We say our goodbyes to Sabine and don’t waste any time flipping through the recipes. We choose so many items to cook and bake that by the time the night comes, the kitchen counter is covered in food. There is ragu alla bolognese, focaccia, gnocchi, bistecca alla fiorentina, melanzane alla parmigiana, arancini, panna cotta, and cannoli. For the first time in many days, Lara is smiling and talking as she recounts all the memories behind each recipe. With each dish, she becomes more alive. Finally when it’s close to midnight, we settle down in front of the fireplace with sampler plates and it’s as if our heart is mended with each bite.
“I can feel him here with us,” Lara says as she looks over at me.
“Yes,” I admit. “I can feel it to,” I say as I reach out my hand and lace my fingers through hers. “Thank you for letting me love and protect you, Lara.”
She leans over and kisses me, responding, “Thank you for making me your wife.”
23
LARA
Today is my brother’s funeral. I didn’t think I could survive this day, but after receiving my special gift from Loreto and cooking recipes all day yesterday, I’ve found a new strength I didn’t even know existed. Instead of mourning my brother’s death today, I feel ready to celebrate the life he lived. I put on the black lace dress that Christian bought for me to wear and he holds my hand as we walk to the black car that will lead the funeral cortege to St. John’s Cemetery. Christian has spared no expense and has secured a grand mausoleum for Loreto. The funeral is attended by almost every member of the Ricci, Greco, and Giottiborgate,since Loreto’s death of sacrifice saved Christian who is a respectedcapo, which means all my brother’s past sins have been washed clean from his reputation among all mafia families. Loreto died a hero, and that’s all that’ll be remembered about him. Even Malacoda, the Giotticapo, along with his underboss and a few of his high-ranking men, are there to pay respect to their fallenconsigliere.
The funeral service is elaborate, with no expense spared. Christian made sure it was an event worthy of honoring Loreto’s memory. Words were spoken that both praised my brother and simultaneously shamed our father for such a senseless number of unnecessary killings, especially those he ordered within his own crew. A new light is shed, exposing all that Valentino Ricci did, and all my brother did in order to try to mitigate the damage and destruction, even if he did engage in our father’s bidding in order to get by.
At the end of the service, glasses are raised and shots are taken to both honor Loreto and send him on to the afterlife, knowing that the people he left behind are forever grateful. My brother had always been my anchor, my protector, and my shoulder to cry on. Now, I have Christian.
Christian comforts me through the service, and as soon as the raising of glasses is finished, he takes me home. It’s unusual for acapoto leave a service early, especially when he’s the one who hosted it. But I’m now seeing that Christian does what Christian wants, and that he places more value on taking care of me then following traditional rules. Admittedly, I love him even more for it. “Now is the time for us to rebuild together,” he says as he pours me a glass of white wine and brings it to sit down on the couch beside me. “I know you’re grieving, and that you will be for a long while. Take as long as you need. I feel it too. But at some point, the way out of sorrow is to rebuild. I’ve learned that lesson time and time again.”
“I’d do almost anything in order to take my mind off of how much I miss my brother,” I say, as tears fill my eyes again. “But I don’t know how to do as you suggest. I don’t know how to rebuild, because I don’t even know what it is that I want to do with my life now. I hadn’t ever expected on wanting to stay in the city.”
“Do you still want to stay here now?” he asks. “Now that Loreto is gone, are you having second thoughts about the decision you made?”
“No. As strange as it sounds, I want to stay here even more now, because this place feels as if it’s a small connection to him somehow. We grew up here, and my memories with my brother are all here. Whether they’re good or bad, memories I have of my brother will always be cherished.”
He nods in understanding and tells me I can do whatever I want here. Whatever I want to do in the city, any passion I want to pursue, he will fund it. But the problem is that I simply don’t know what that is. The rest of Christian’s crew is already making plans to take over Valentino’s territory now that my father’s dead, and Christian is patiently trying to wait for me to figure out what plans I want to pursue, but nothing feels right. I once thought I’d have all of these hopes and dreams, but now I just feel lost.
Until the morning that I wake up and Christian has a surprise for me. “What kind of surprise is it?” I ask him.
“The kind you have to wait and find out about,” he teases. “That’s why it’s called a surprise. Get dressed.”
He hands me a large box tied with a giant lavender ribbon and I open it to find an exquisite ivory dress inside. “You want me to putthison? Are we going to meet with the Queen? Am I being inaugurated as a princess?”
Christian laughs. “Better.”
I do as he asks and put the beautiful dress on. When I look at myself in the mirror, it’s all too clear to see that this is a vintageweddingdress. The door opens back up just as I’m sucking in a gasp at my reflection. Christian’s gasp at the door echoes my own. “You look stunning,” he says as he walks over and takes my hand.
“Is this what I think it is?” I ask, walking out the bedroom door with him and down to the waiting car.
“If you think it’s the lavishly romantic wedding ceremony I promised I would give you, then yes, it is.” He is grinning from ear to ear and his joy is contagious.
After he sees that I love my dress, he shocks me by sending in three attendants. I feel like a princess as I’m surrounded by these three women. One works on my hair, one on my makeup, and one on my nails, and within a matter of minutes I’ve transformed like Cinderella with a flick of the fairy godmother’s wand. The next time Christian enters the room, he’s wearing a dashing tuxedo and I’ve never seen him look sexier. After giving me a kiss on the cheek so that he doesn’t ruin my lipstick, he laces his fingers in mine and escorts me to the while limo parked at the front door.
The wedding ceremony is everything I could’ve ever dreamed of—the flowers look like a fantasy wildflower garden, the cake is almost as tall as I am, and the small quartet that was flown in from Provence just for the day plays music as I walk down the aisle. It’s wildly romantic. I can’t keep myself from wanting Christian as I look at him in his perfectly tailored suit that I want to peel away from his body so that I can once again lay eyes on what’s beneath.
