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With a weak attempt at humor, I say, “When it’s all said and done, I am pretty proud of myself for not breaking down on the phone and blubbering like a baby.”
Nate is still staring at me, and our joined hands seem locked together with superglue.
I have to tear my gaze away from Nate’s eyes and study his forearms instead. Thick and muscular and sinewy. The one closest to me bears a tattoo with the phrase, “But first, coffee,” in swoopy lettering. There’s also a profile of a bobcat. That’s right, Nate went to Montana State University. He was wearing that tee shirt the first day I came in to buy a coffee, and we bantered about that. And that has me thinking if I had gone there instead of the University of Montana (Go Grizzlies), I never would have met Chad. Maybe instead, I would have met someone better. Someone kinder. Someone less flighty. Someone like Nate.
“That’s it, then. I’m alone in this,” I croak.
The protective dam inside my chest bursts open.
And I am lost in desolate tears.
ChapterFive
Nate
I’m not sure what to do here.
Seeing Meredith cry makes my chest ache, but it’s not about me. I need to do something to help.
“Do you…need a hug?” I rasp, not knowing what else to say.
Amid wracking sobs, she squeaks out a “Yeah.”
Slowly, slowly, I slide off the kitchen chair. Meredith lets go of her death grip on my hand. I kneel, reaching up to dab away tears wetting her cheeks.
“C’mere.”
Meredith pivots slightly in her chair to face me, then falls forward limply. Although short, she appears solid. And yet, she feels surprisingly frail against my chest. My arms go around her, and I draw her in close, letting her wet my shirt with tears. I’m not sure how long we stay like this, but I know it’s long past the point of my knees beginning to ache. But I don’t mind.
Eventually, Meredith’s breathing calms, and we match each other, deep breath for deep breath.
“Thank you,” she squeaks out.
“No, thank you.”
A slight scoffing noise escapes her. “For what? Ruining your tee shirt?”
“For trusting me to hear that conversation.”
She’s silent for a moment, then says, “If a girl can’t trust her barista, there’s no hope for this world.”
This makes me chuckle. “Your ex is a dill hole; I don’t know if you’re aware.”
Meredith laughs, trembling against me. “Yeah, I figured that out too late.”
“I should know. I used to be an absolute dill hole, and that guy is the supreme high overlord of them all.”
This has her laughing harder, so I keep going. “Where in Mexico did you say he was? I’d love to meet him. I just want to talk. Introduce him to Lenny and Luther.”
She snorts and pops her head up, breaking my heart with her puffy red eyes. “Who are Lenny and Luther?”
I smile down at her. “My fists.”
“You named your fists.”
“Just now, I did. The way he talked to you….”
I trail off because Meredith is staring at my mouth. Her lips part, then her pretty, bloodshot eyes connect with mine again. Now would be a good time to let go of her. Walk away from the hug, and warm up the soup on the stove because she needs to eat something.
