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“Kline!”A harsh whisper filled my ears, and I turned away from the bartender to see my wife standing there with huge, wide eyes. “I just saw two penises,” she continued, keeping her voice low, but unable to hide the shock from it. “And I can’t be sure, but I think Paula wants me to sleep with her husband!”
“Baby—” I started to say, but Georgia was too worked up as she glanced around the room, paranoia in her eyes.
“Oh my God!” she quietly exclaimed and buried her face into my chest. “Make that three penises! Why are there penises, Kline? And not a single one of them even has a mask on!”
“Baby—” I attempted again, but man, she was fired up.
“What is wrong with people?” she questioned more to herself than me. “Why does it feel like there are more dicks than people at this ball, and why on earth would Paula want me to sleep with her husband?”
“It’s a swingers party, Benny,” I said, finally getting a word in.
“What?”
“Swingers, baby. As in, people who bang one another’s spouses.”
“No, it’s not,” she whispered, horrified.
“Oh, but it is.”
Georgia just stood there, staring at me and gulping like a beached fish.
I couldn’t really blame her, though. I mean, this was completely unexpected and uncharted territory for a woman who’d kept her virginhood as long as she had, and all of it was happening on the heels of a day when she ended up feeding half her breakfast to two vest-wearing, maraca-shaking, begging monkeys.
The human mind could only take so much crazy before it started to shut the fuck down.
When I glanced over my shoulder and spotted a man in a neon-yellow banana hammock and a woman attempting to make said banana get hard with her hand, I made an instant executive decision—we had to go, and we had to go right fucking now.
No time to waste, I leaned down and tossed my wife over my shoulder like a fucking fireman and strode right toward the exit doors of the villa without looking back.
“Kline!” Georgia squealed, finally finding her voice. “What are you doing?”
“Baby, this is some crazyEyes Wide Shutkind of shit, and I’m getting us out of here before a damn orgy begins.”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” she agreed, accepting the circumstances for what they were with a sigh.
We both knew this party was heading down a path neither one of us wanted to tread, and the sooner we got the fuck out of there, the better.
I mean, a fucking swingers event? What the ever-loving-shit?
How, in the matter of not even forty-eight hours, could two people keep finding themselves in situations like this?
Thatch, my brain reminded me.Fucking Thatch.
That bastard was the reason for all of it.
The fire.
The band.
The monkeys.
Andthis.
I didn’t know how the fucker did it, but somehow, he had even managed to plant someone at the bar to give Georgia that invitation.
He wasn’t even in Cabo, but it felt like he waseverywhere.
Lungs on fire with building rage, I stopped in the same spot Nico had dropped us off and set Georgia back to her feet.
