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“If you swapped your pantsuit for a robe, you’d be there.”

“Yes. But I’m not sure I’d command much respect in a robe.”

“Oh, I don’t know...” Images were coming unbidden into my mind. Had to shut them off.

“I’m taking too long over this. I’m going to get through the rest fairly quickly. Card six – my daily work – Ace of Pentacles – new beginnings – true, my business is fledgling. Number seven – my partnerships, romantic and non-romantic – Five of Wands – conflict and disagreement – okay, yes, so I enjoy a good debate, that’s fair. Number eight – my secrets – Two of Pentacles. Erm, having multiple priorities, trying to prioritize... Number nine – my dreams and capacity for growth – ah, the Nine of Pentacles! – financial independence and self-worth. Card ten – career – Four of Pentacles – erm, saving money, scarcity.”

“There’s a lot of pentacles and swords so far.”

“Yes, nice observation.”

“What do they mean?”

“Pentacles represents the physical realm, and swords represents intellect.” She flipped over the second-to-last card. “Eleven is community. ‘Strength’ represents a kind of determination and passion. And twelve, the thing that prompted me to do this particular spread, is my shadow self.” She flipped over the card. ‘Death’.

“Oh dear.”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds. I’m not quite sure what it means in this context though. Not immediately, anyway. It generally means new opportunities, unexpected change... as for my shadow-self, it could mean I’m clinging onto the past? Or... resisting a personal transformation? I don’t know. It’s an odd one. I’m going to puzzle over that in my own time, if that’s alright with you.” She began to sweep up the cards. “I’m sure you don’t want – oops!”

She’d accidentally brushed the Death card off the table in her haste to pack up the spread. It fluttered to the ground underneath the table, between our legs. She bent forwards to start picking it up, then quickly retracted and held her hand up to her chest with a soft noise of alarm. I glanced at her chest for long enough to see her embarrassing predicament. Her shirt wasn’t a business shirt by any standards – it didn’t button all the way up. And though she was well-covered, I could see that the shirt was quite floaty and loose. If she were to lean fully over in front of me, she’d be exposed.

Now we were both thinking about her chest, and I was profoundly uncomfortable. “Let me get it.” Before she could answer, I pushed back my office chair and went on my knees to find it.

I allowed myself a small breather under the desk to stop thinking about that moment before coming up for air, brandishing the card. “Here.”

“Thanks.” She grinned sheepishly my way. “Shall we read your cards?”

“Yes, absolutely.” I’d never have said that with such keenness if I wasn’t desperately trying to move on from the awkwardness of that moment. This spread seemed highly personal, and I was nervous as to what I’d reveal under the encouraging and relaxing guidance of Ria Moon.

Thankfully, she too was keen to move on. “Okay, let me just refresh the deck.” She shuffled the deck, still slightly flustered. “Split it for me, will you? Without electrocution, this time.”

I concentrated hard on stilling my hand this time, so as not to fumble. I breathed a sigh of relief when it was done.

“Excellent. Okay, twelve cards, for the twelve astrological houses.” She dealt them out in a neat circle across the desk, facing me rather than herself this time. “Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Don’t sound so hard done by. You paid for this, you know.”

“I know. Go on.”

“Okay, so the first house represents your identity. And we’ve got... King of Cups. Okay.”

“He doesn’t look too awful. He’s sitting on a throne floating in the sea. Holding a big cup, obviously. There’s a fish and a boat there. And he’s just kind of... chilling. What did you say Cups meant, again?”

“I didn’t. Cups represents the emotional realm. The King of Cups is often seen as a kind of... compassionate diplomat. Maybe amongst his brothers – The Kings of Pentacles, Swords and Wands – he’s the ‘nice one’. From the sounds of it, if I was going to name your brothers... I’d call Sylvester the King of Wands, obviously. Winston the King of Swords. And Jude the King of Pentacles.”

I smirked. “They’d get a kick out of that.”

“Do they know you’re doing this?”

“No, they don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Well, that problem I focused on in our previous reading... I feel like I let them down at our previous meeting. They thought I’d have a solution by now. And so, since I’m trying alternative methods now, I don’t want to get their hopes up before I have something concrete.”

“And a sudden interest in tarot wouldn’t be believable on its own?”

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