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Plans. I wanted to laugh. I was the planner. Alex seemed to just take each day as it came, but I didn’t do anything on impulse. I scheduled every piece of my days, spent hours making sure that everything I needed to do was written in my calendar, knew exactly how much money I needed each month to cover bills, food, fuel for my car, and possible unexpected expenses.
And then, in a fit of insanity, I’d started dating a man who’d made me lose all of that. I’d traveled instead of getting ahead on my schoolwork. I’d gotten engaged and married in the same week. I’d lost myself, and now I was pregnant. What the hell had I done?
“Say something,” Alex said sharply, his voice still soft.
“I had an IUD,” I murmured. I couldn’t think of anything else to say. It was the root cause of all of this. I’d had an IUD, and it hadn’t worked. Clearly my hormones had caused me to do all these things that I normally wouldn’t have done. That tiny piece of plastic had failed me spectacularly.
“Jesus,” Alex said with a sigh. He set my hand gently on the bed and stood from his chair. “I need some air.”
When I didn’t reply, he left the room.
Chapter 13
Alex
I pushed open the emergency room doors and inhaled deeply, letting the cold night air calm my temper. I was trying not to be angry—I really was—but I was so close to losing my cool that I had to leave Sarai’s room. It didn’t help that I felt shitty for leaving her in there alone even though I wanted a little distance between us.
I knew that she didn’t feel good. I knew that we hadn’t expected a baby. I knew that she’d probably felt even more overwhelmed than I had when the doctor told us she was pregnant. I knew she was stunned—hell, I was stunned. But I was having a really hard time accepting her complete lack of response when we’d seen that heartbeat on the monitor.
That was our child in there. Our baby. Sure, it wasn’t much to look at, but that was our kid. A little human made from equal parts Sarai and Alex. Even if we weren’t prepared or ready for this, it was happening. How was she so indifferent?
I pulled my phone out of my pocket.
“Hey, brother,” Kate answered. “Everything okay?”
“Sorry I’m calling so late,” I said, pacing back and forth across the sidewalk.
“No worries, Shane and I are just watching a movie.”
“If you’re busy, I can just call you back tomorrow,” I mumbled. I shouldn’t have called her. I knew that Sarai wasn’t anywhere near ready to let people know, since she wasn’t even accepting the truth herself, but God, I needed to talk to someone.
“No way,” Kate shot back. “What’s up?”
“I had to bring Sarai to the hospital tonight because we thought she had food poisoning or something,” I said with a sigh.
“Oh no,” Kate replied. “That sucks. Is she okay?”
“She’s pregnant,” I blurted out, getting right to the heart of why I’d called her.
“Oh,” Kate said. “Uh, congratulations? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Because you sound like it’s a bad thing.”
“Christ, I don’t know.” I rubbed my forehead, where a headache was forming.
“Wait,” Kate said suspiciously. “Is this why you ran off and got married?”
“No,” I replied quickly. “Hell no. We got married because we wanted to get married. No other reason.”
“Okay,” she said, drawing out the word. “Well, you’re married, so you’re both clearly committed, and you both have good jobs. What’s the issue?”
“Sarai,” I said, hating myself for throwing her under the bus like that, but dying for some support.
“What is she worried about?” Kate said, her voice low and calming.
“I don’t know,” I replied, thinking of the look on Sarai’s face when she’d found out she was pregnant. “She just keeps saying that she had an IUD.”
“Ah,” Kate murmured.
“What?”
“I can understand that.” Kate had accidentally gotten pregnant when she and Shane had a one-night stand. Everything worked out in the end, but it hadn’t started out well. “Try to imagine it from her point of view. She thought she was protected from pregnancy, and now she’s growing a human she hadn’t planned for. Pretty scary.”
“Did you—” I wasn’t even sure what I was asking. “How did you react?”
“I yelled,” Kate said. “I think I called Shane a bunch of dirty words. Threw up a couple of times.”
“Sarai just went silent,” I replied. “After arguing with the doctor.”
“She’s just in shock,” Kate said soothingly. “Give her a little time, and then see where her head’s at.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
“Where are you?” Kate asked. “Still at the hospital?”
“Yeah, I walked outside for a few minutes,” I replied. “Sarai’s dehydrated, so they’re giving her some fluids.”
