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‘Oh?’
‘I didn’t handle things well.’
Her heart slammed into her ribs. ‘I don’t want to talk about events of a decade ago.’
He frowned reflexively. ‘I mean last week. When I went to Barcelona, the day after we slept together, I was running, but it was insensitive and hurtful. I’m sorry.’
It was the very last thing she’d expected. Her lips parted on a soft exhalation and the knots in her tummy grew bigger. ‘Graciano,’ she said after a beat, looking down at the countertop.
‘Let me say this,’ he asked urgently, leaning across and putting a hand on hers.
She swallowed past a knot in her throat, then nodded once.
He came around to her side of the bench, moving so close to her that her treacherous body trembled in immediate response.
‘Twice in my life I have been without an anchor—the first time, when my parents died and my brother disappeared.’ She dug her nails into her palms, knowing what was coming. ‘And the second time was when I left you.’
Her heart twisted.
‘I was almost destroyed, twice.’
She closed her eyes, the emotions too, too real.
‘I refuse to let it happen a third time.’
Her heart broke for him, then, and it broke for her, too. Her father had destroyed so much, but they’d been complicit. He’d been complicit by letting that rejection destroy him instead of fighting for what he must have known was the truth.
‘You were wrong to leave,’ she said after a beat.
‘You think I should have let the police throw me in prison?’
‘I would have defended you.’
‘You see everything through your eyes, through your privilege. I was a street kid. There was no one who’d believe me over your father. Besides, you couldn’t even defend me to him.’
Sadness welled inside of her.
‘Why not tell me that?’ she asked quietly. ‘Why not tell me that you’d left for self-preservation?’
‘I was too angry,’ he said with a shift of his shoulders.
‘We’re going in circles here,’ she said throatily. ‘And I’m not convinced any of it matters anymore.’ Sadness engulfed her. She loved him, and she’d have put money on him having loved her at one time, but that didn’t mean they’d be able to make it work.
‘It matters,’ he responded gruffly, closing the distance between them, putting his hands on her hips to hold her steady. ‘I knew I’d made a mistake as soon as your helicopter left. I want more time with you.’
It should have delighted her, but she heard the restrictions in his statement. ‘How much time?’
He lifted his shoulders. ‘More.’
‘Until you’re over me?’ She pushed, mercilessly, because she needed his absolute honesty. This wasn’t love. It wasn’t everlasting, for all eternity, happily-ever-after love. His offer was limited, driven by sex and ego.
‘Until we’rebothready to move on,’ he corrected carefully. ‘Tell me you don’t want that.’
‘God,’ she laughed unevenly, sadly. ‘What I want? You have no idea of the gulf that exists between what I want and what I can have. You have no bloody idea.’
‘Then tell me,’ he demanded, moving closer so their bodies were touching and his lips were an inch from hers. ‘Show me.’
And he kissed her, a slow, searching kiss that curled her toes and made everything shimmer like gold dust.
