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“The public hasn’t seen this side of you,” she enthuses. “Dee, give us the inside scoop on what Micah Peters is like as a husband.”
“Well, for starters, he’s Mick at home.” I smile up at him and back at Bianca, managing to stay my nerves, speaking about my husband with ease. “He’s considerate and loving. He respects my independence and gives me room and support to grow. Life with him is amazing.” I smile again. “Mick has a romantic streak—surprise dinners, thoughtful gestures. He’s fun and spontaneous, which keeps things interesting. I’m proud of all he’s accomplished with Papa’s Kids and the good man that he is. I’m proud to be his wife.”
Mick’s eyes wash over me with heated intensity. “I’m just as proud to be your husband.”
“Oh my.” Bianca touches a hand to her chest. “You both light up when you look at each other. It’s very refreshing. I wish you all the best.”
“Thank you.” I exchange another grin with Mick.
“Let’s talk about something you two have in common. Your affinity for kids in need,” she says. “Dee, I understand you’re a lawyer for foster children.”
“That’s right.”
“It’s a unique focus. Where does that come from?”
“I was a foster child.”
“That must have been difficult.” Her head tilts with compassion and she leans forward.
“It was,” I admit. “But don’t get me wrong, foster care is a wonderful thing. It can provide a necessary home until a child can be safely reunited with his or her family. It can also provide a longer-term solution that even leads to adoption. However, it doesn’t always work out that way. I know what it’s like to be bounced around and not have any sense of stability and permanence. Those are the kind of cases I tend to take.”
“Sounds like you channeled your experiences into helping others.”
“It has been a catharsis of sorts.”
“In what ways would you say your life as a foster child has shaped you?”
I pause. We’d expected questions of this nature and gone over surface responses. But that suddenly doesn’t feel right. Malcolm had wanted to use my past against me. Some reporters would too. I don’t want rumors out there. If anyone’s going to tell my story, it’s going to be me. And I’m going to do it with honesty and without shame.
“I struggled with insecurities and a lack of self-worth.”
“Tell me about that.”
I hear the subtle intake of Mick’s breath. The sound of his protective instincts kicking in. But I also sense his restraint as if he’s holding himself back to let me handle it.
“My father left when I was four. My mother suffered from severe depression and couldn’t care for me when she was off her medication. I didn’t understand the challenges of mental illness back then, I only knew that she sent me away when she couldn’t cope. I was in and out of foster homes for ten years until my mother died of an overdose.”
“I’m so sorry. How did you deal with all that?”
“Not well for a long while. Because life felt so unpredictable, I sought control in emotionally destructive ways. I closed myself off to others and used food as both comfort and punishment. At an early age, I fell into an unhealthy pattern of overeating then starving myself. I dieted obsessively and battled a negative body image. I thought if I were thinner, prettier…I’d be more lovable. I thought that’s why my parents hadn’t wanted me. Because I wasn’t good enough.”
Mick’s hand stays on mine and his eyes never leave me. I imagine it’s hard for him to hear me revealing so much about myself in such a public way, but I’m compelled to see it through.
“I blamed every rejection or upset in my life on my perceived flaws and inadequacies. Feeling like I wasn’t enough made me miserable. I hit rock bottom a couple of years ago. My system rebelled against the way I was abusing it and I ended up in the hospital. I realized then that I needed help. The problem wasn’t so much what I saw in the mirror, the problem was on the inside. The way I felt about myself.
“I started seeing a therapist and soon after, I started up my child advocacy practice for foster children. That’s how I channeled my issues into something more constructive. It’s taken me a long time to flip the negative script and realize that I’m not lesser-than or unlovable. That neither my childhood or the size of my body define me.
“Unfortunately, I wasn’t in a good place when I first met Mick, to let him or the amazing foster family I had love me then. But I’m in a good place now. I’ve come to like myself. The woman I am and still becoming.”
Lexie and Asher, standing with the camera crew, raise two enthusiastic thumbs-up.
“Thank you,” Bianca says, giving me a kind smile. “Sharing that could not have been easy.”
“It wasn’t. But I’ve found through having Mick back in my life, that talking has helped me heal. Anyway,” I smile and redirect the conversation, “that’s enough about me. We’re here to discuss my husband’s award and Papa’s Kids.”
“We certainly are.” Bianca shifts her attention to Mick.
It takes him a moment to unlock his gaze from me and respond. The interview had gotten more personal than either of us expected. He’d obviously been thrown but he gets back on his footing.
