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Concentration is a painstaking endeavor. The lulls engulf me in sadness, but I fake composure and keep going.
Somehow, I make it through the hours, consuming more caffeine than I should. Arriving home that evening, I muster up the energy to dress for Lena’s big night when what I really want is to collapse on my bed and sleep for a week. Maybe I’d wake up to find this was all a bad dream.
“Holy shit!” Jordyn exclaims whenshe peeks out the door.
Bernard tips his hat. The limo is visible at the curb.
“Bonjour, Mademoiselle Chase. Mr. Peters asked that I be at your service this evening.”
Somewhere along the way, my gloom had morphed into anger. I have half a mind to send Bernard away. My friends and I already made plans to take an Uber after having wine and appetizers at my place. But spite won’t make me feel any better, nor would it be fair to put Bernard in that position or deny Jordyn the excitement over our fancy ride.
“Thank you, Bernard. We’ll be ready to leave in a few minutes.”
“Take your time.” He tips his hat again and returns to the limo to wait.
“Aw…that’s so sweet of Mick,” Lexie gushes with a smile that’s covered in sugar and sprinkles. “What a thoughtful surprise.”
I stifle the bitter snort rising in my throat. On the surface, Mick does look the part of a thoughtful boyfriend. Only I’m not even sure he’s my boyfriend anymore. But I do know that the limo is merely a prettied up bodyguard detail. That adds to my anger. Mick won’t talk to me and yet he’s still protecting me. I don’t get it. But I’m not going to let that ruin our evening.
My friends got all dressed up for a fun night out. Lexie in a black tulle miniskirt and platform ankle boots. Jordyn in tight leather pants, her short hair fashioned into a faux mohawk that looks great on her. The least I can do is keep a smile painted on my face. I’ll tell them. Just not right now.
“Bernard is dashing in an ooh-la-la sort of way,” Jordyn says with a bad French accent.
“Oh, please don’t tell me you’re going after him,” Lexie says. “He’s practically your father’s age.”
“Not quite.” She laughs. “Besides, I have nothing against older men. But I much prefer a certain ex-military man. Must be all that badass testosterone ’cause just the thought of Stiles makes my thong wet.”
“Ew.” Lexie’s nose wrinkles. “Can you not?”
“Just speaking the truth.” Jord pops a cube of cheese into her mouth. “I want to do him sooo bad.”
“Really, Jordyn. You’ve only seen the man once and barely exchanged more than a few words with him.”
“I don’t need words, Lex.” She makes a sshing signal with her finger against her lips. “In fact, the less spoken the better…I just need his hard body.”
“That’s reverse sexism.”
Jordyn rolls her eyes. “You seriously need to get laid by someone other than Dr. Missionary, then maybe you’d get that stick out of your ass. Unless you’re into anal.”
Lexie spits out her wine, choking on a gasp.
“I’m guessing not.” Jord waggles her brows and grins. “Don’t know what you’re missing, chickie.”
That’s my cue to usher us out the door. The last thing I need is to think about what I’m missing with Mick. But avoiding those thoughts isn’t possible. As soon as we slide into the limo, I’m right back to that night. I’m even wearing the same black dress. The one Mick peeled off to ravish my body. I grip the door handle where he’d bound my wrists and squirm against the heat of arousal pooling between my legs. I’m so angry with him and yet I can’t stop wanting him with every aching beat of my heart.
The Atomic Freeze is hoppingwhen we arrive. Loud music blares through a sound system. Piercings, colorful hair, and tats are thenorm. I’d paired my dress with knee-high boots and a silver choker, but in comparison to this crowd, my attire is super conservative.
People mill around the tables drinking, others are rocking out on the dance floor. Most of them, I’d say, are in their twenties to early thirties. It’s not all that different from other clubs I’ve been to; people dancing, drinking, and having a good time. Despite the hollow pain in my chest, I plan to do the same.
While Lexie secures a spot for us near the stage, Jordyn and I fight our way to the bar. I place an order for three Crantinis and send a quick text to Lena.
Me:Break a leg!
Lena:I’m terrified.
Me:Deep breaths. You’ve got this.
Lena:Glad you’re here.
