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“Where’s Julian?” He asks me.
“How would I know?”
I regret my sharp tone as much as my words. Okay, I can’t dodge it. We’re going to have to talk about this or I’ll drive my friend away just by being a touchy asshole without meaning to be.
I don’t have anything to be ashamed of. Knowing this doesn’t do a thing to change how I feel. There’s still that lingering shame I’ve carried around for so long.
“Sorry,” I begin. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
Asher lifts his mug to his lips for a cautious sip. “This is better than usual, Logan. Much better.”
“JJ and I are sleeping together.” The words fly out of my mouth. This isn’t how I wanted to start this conversation. Not at all.
“If that’s what it takes to get you to make a better cup of coffee,” he says. “Who knew that gay sex was the key all along.”
I huff out an uneasy laugh. “I guess that’s what it took.”
Asher’s big grin starts to set me at ease. “Then you should’ve done it a lot sooner.”
I don’t know what to make of his non-reaction. “You don’t seem that surprised.”
“I’m not. I figured out there was something going on between you.”
“Really? How?” I’ve been making a real effort to be very careful. It was exhausting.
“It’s not like you guys were obvious but I know you pretty well. It’s the way you’ve been acting around Julian lately. You’re not yourself at all.”
Asher pours himself some more coffee. “So, what’s going on? Are you a couple?”
“No,” I say quickly. “Not at all.”
His eyebrow rises as if he can see right through me. “Do you want to be?”
I cough awkwardly. “Well, it’s Julian. Even if I wanted that kind of thing with him, it’s not really an option. He’s married to his work. There’s no room for anything else.”
“Is it only Julian you’re into? Or men in general?”
“I’m not gay. I’m bisexual.” I take a deep breath. If I’m going to be honest with Asher, it’s going to be about everything. “If you weren’t seeing Elena, I would be. I’ve had a crush on her since high school.”
“Is that right?”
My pulse wakes up again as Asher’s clear eyes dive into my soul. “I was wondering about that too,” he says, his lips curving into a smile that only made my heart beat faster. “You acted strangely when I said I was going to see Elena again. So you’re into everybody? What about me?”
I force a strangled laugh. He has to be joking. He has to be kidding.
He’s not. His eyes catch hold of mine and won’t let go. Asher Kingston have any woman he wants. Does he want men too? I almost dismiss the thought flat out but then again, I have to wonder. I kept my own bisexuality hidden from everyone. What if Asher’s done the same thing? The thought almost knocks me over.
His question hangs in the air between us. The intensity in his gaze is starting to become almost too much to bear. A tidal waveof emotions courses through my veins. Confusion’s winning out over everything else.
Desire isn’t far behind.
What will Asher do if I tell him the truth? It’s not just Julian who crosses my mind in very inappropriate ways. It’s always been easier to avoid thinking about Asher like that. JJ and I had our first night together back in college, so I already knew he was open to it. Asher’s always been unattainable and I never thought about anything actually happening with him in reality.
His expression’s serious and he’s waiting for me to answer. What if I admit I find him attractive? That’s no big deal. Everyone in Manhattan finds Asher attractive. So why is he asking me if I’m into him?
Asher’s gaze is steady and unwavering. “Am I the only one that you don’t want, Logan?”
My mouth goes dry. “Everyone wants you, Ash. You know that.”
