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Walk of Fame
“You liked that baby?”The male suitor for this evening stood with one leg partially in his pants and the other piece of dark blue denim jeans held loosely in his hand.
My clothes were already on as the only thing needed was my dress, panties, and my multicolored, striped shoes that put everything together.His fast determination of getting redressed only reaffirmed that he knew he didn't perform as his mouth boasted that he could.
Another one-night stand.Those were my specialty because I had nothing to offer.Literally, I no longer had fanatical ideas about men and what we could have because I learned a long time ago, we could have nothing.
Not one damn thing.
I grunted my response to him and said, “Okay, my ride is waiting.Night.”
His eyes flashed and then he quickly pulled up the other leg, “Yes, okay.Uh, maybe we could do this again?”
I turned and made my way down the hall towards the front door of the man’s brown stone apartment.I think he said he was a doctor.I was never sure and honestly didn't care.He got what he wanted.A quick lay and that's all I wanted from a man these days.So, it was a win-win.
“No, I don't think so,” I said as I turned the front door’s knob.“Goodnight.”
Sauntering out into the fall evening with the trees blowing, the smell of Philadelphia and its urban and sometimes too vibrant fragrance but also comforting, met me with a gust of wind.
“Yeah, okay.”He muttered.
I quickly made haste down the stone stairs and jumped into my waiting Uber ride.
“Camila Doyle?”The driver turned towards me as I hopped in the back of his vehicle.
“Yes, that's me.”I smiled.
“Great, you're headed to South Philly?”He asked.
“Yup,” I leaned back and closed my eyes.“Take Broad Street.”
“Okay.”The car pulled off, and I let the one tear that always escaped stream down my face after I'd screwed my anger out on some unexpecting man.
I wiped it away like I always did and I forgot.It was time to sleep, but first, I wanted to see the lights of the city.This gave me inspiration and as a freelance artist, the city lights were my specialty.They were the very images that landed me so many awards and secured spots in the galleries downtown.The lights were a reminder that there was a world bigger than me.It reminded me that I was alive and got to be a part of the hustle and bustle of the great city of brotherly love and that I should be grateful.So what, I couldn't have a child.So what, my womb was barren.So what, I was about to be thirty-four and of child bearing years, and I'd never get to experience the one thing I dreamt, prayed, and planned for since high school.
So damn what!
My name is Camila Doyle, and I am a goddamn woman.Men would hear me roar and then they'd see me leave.What else did I have to give?
Nothing.
Not a damn thing.
Book Club:
“I loved how the woman wanted greater for mankind.”Lucy said.“It was like she was presented with good and evil, but she chose good.That burst of power at the end was amazing.”
We were at book club and amazingly enough, we were discussing the Wonder Woman movie before we started talking about our book of the month.I hadn't seen it yet, so I had nothing to contribute.
“Camila, what did you think?”Stephanie asked me.“Weren’t you supposed to see it with one of your many men?
Everybody groaned at Stephanie's words because she was the type that when she disapproved of something you did, she constantly brought it up.Hence, my many men.It really wasn't that many.Maybe once every two or three months.Okay, four or five.I still wasn't sure how this made me any different from a man.They could sleep with anyone and no one would bat a damn eye.I go out and have a one-night stand, and it's a crime against all women.
“Stef-ah-knee,” I was certain to pause with each word.“Please let me be great.I don't condone you sitting around flicking the bean with your lonely ass, but I don't mention that every time I see you.I mean, to each his own but don't come for me, Stef-ah-knee.I didn’t send for you.You will know when I do."
The few snickers didn't move me and to be honest, I wished more people would put Stephanie in her place.She was always judging people about shit she didn't know about.
