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He sighs. “Look, if you do this, you’re risking everything. You risk my friendship with Emma, my friendship with you,andmy marriage. Hard pass, Dylan, I don’t want anything to do with this. What makes you think you can make it work? Because if it doesn’t…”
“I have to try! Ever since we reconnected yesterday, I can’t stop thinking about her.” If I am being honest with myself, I never stopped thinking about her.
“So, in 24 hours you’ve decided you found your soulmate? Come on, man, let’s be logical about this. Emma is not the same person you knew when you dated her. Neither are you. Why are you jumping into this with two feet after one day?” He chuckles. “I mean, she iswayout of your league. So, I guess I get the appeal. You like a challenge.What am I saying?No. Don’t do this.”
He’s right about that—she is out of my league. “I don’t know, we just always had this insane connection. I just want to see if it’s still there.”
“Andrew, who’s on the phone?...Babe, you won’t believe this, but Dylan, my buddy Dylan, who came for Christmas with his girls…I know who Dylan is…Right, well he is the ex Emma was talking about…Yeah, yeah, I know, Emma and I figured it out last night. I heard all about the ghosting. Andrew, so help me, if he hurts her again...” Her voice trails off and it sounds like Lily left the room. He clears his throat. “Sorry, wifey walked in. You probably heard all of that, didn’t you?”
I comb my hand through my hair. “Yeah, she doesn’t seem too happy about this whole thing.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that…because you aren’t going to date Emma,right?And I am 1000% sure Lily is calling her and Riley as we speak.” He’s one of my best friends, it would be nice if he encouraged this.
“I get why you are against it, but she is everything I ever wanted in a woman. This is my second chance with her, and I’m going for it—with or without your blessing.”
Andrew is silent for a moment, then lets out a deep breath. “You sound like one of those romance books Lily reads. Are you sure about this?”
“I have never been so sure of anything in my life.” I never loved another woman, the way I loved Emma. Not even my ex-wife. If there is even the slightest possibility that she might still feel the same way about me, I will do everything in my power to make her mine again.
Unfortunately, he’s still against the idea when we hang up. One thing that stuck with me though, he’s right that I have no idea about the woman she is now. What I do know is how she made me want to be a better man when we were together.
Sitting on my bed, I pull out my laptop. Once powered on, I open my browser and search her name. She still goes by her maiden name, I don’t remember her ever changing it when she was married. A quick search pulls up a few social media accounts and a website for a literary agency. She’s a VP, which I knew from internet stalking her intermittently all these years. I’m falling down the rabbit hole that is the internet, finding she is also on a school PTA board, and a volunteer for an organization that funds services for autistic adults and children. I recall Andrew mentioning she had a kid on the spectrum, so it doesn’t surprise me. I am mostly trying to figure out how she has time for all of this. She is incredible on paper, she always was. When I think back to how driven she was when I knew her, she hasn’t changed one bit.
I lean back against my headboard and pull out my phone to open up a social media app that I know we aren’t following each other on. When I find her profile, I scroll through photos of book promos and reviews. At first glance, I don’t think much of it, but I'm starting to see a pattern—they are almost all romance books. I click on a few of them, to see what her favorites are. She likes stories with a happily ever after, and men who she claims have “golden retriever energy but are dominant in the bedroom.”What on earth does that mean? What the hell is golden retriever energy?There’s also a rating she gives with a chili pepper, where she discusses…oh Emma, you dirty girl.It’s how much sex that's in a book, and it looks like most of her favorites she rates a 3 or 4, out of 5.
I shift to get comfortable in my bed, having to adjust my too tight pants due to my now very hard dick.I wonder what she’s into these days. She was always so sweet and unassuming in the bedroom when we were together, but was always up for anything. I just never pushed her and tested her limits. Maybe that’s changed and she’s more adventurous? I start scrolling for more reviews of hers, trying to see what she likes in bed based on her posts, but remember what Andrew said earlier. I should not be fantasizing about her like this, when my friend was worried about this very thing. I close out of the app, plug in my phone, and turn out the light on my bedside table.
As I drift off to sleep, I can’t help but imagine what it would be like to have her naked in my arms again, her beautiful crystal blue eyes staring back at me with the love she had for me years ago.
Chapter eight
Emma
Todayisthebigday! Imayhave spent the last 24-48 hours overanalyzing everything. I haven’t been on a date in ages and am so incredibly nervous. I try to remind myself that we are just catching up, but I know in my gut that this means more to him than that.
Dylan said he is taking me to dinner and a movie, but he won’t give me any details. Riley and Lily agreed to come over to help me decide what to wear, and thankfully brought a few bottles of liquid courage.
We're hanging out in my bathroom as I apply my makeup. Lily is sipping her glass of cab when she asks, “Ok, so on a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to put out on this date?”
Riley gasps in fake shock. “Come on, Lil, she isn’t going to hop into bed with the first guy she dates since Jason. My guess is that if he is as into her now, as he was back then, she’ll be a solid 7.”
I look at both of them and fib, “Why are you asking me this, we are just getting together as friends!” Dylan was the best sex I’ve ever had, but I am sure as hell not telling himorthem that. It was always the dirty talk that did it for me. Jason let me explore being a little submissive in bed, I wonder if Dylan would…No, we are just going to catch up.
They stop what they are doing to look at me as Riley replies, “Em, this is Dylan, the same guy who broke your heart. I know Lily and Andrew know him, but that doesn’t change the fact that this guy isnotyour friend. There are big feelings there, so don’t pretend this is casual. Unless you want it to be? I just don’t see you having a one night stand with him. I have a feeling this guy would wife you up tonight, if given the chance.”
She’s right, I need to be careful. I turn away from them and look at my reflection in the bathroom mirror in front of me. I continue to apply my eye liner, opting for a small wing. “Ok, so it’sprobablya real date, but I am not going home with him. I have an early morning tomorrow with my board of directors.”
Lily points her finger at me. “Liar. Keep telling yourself that. Just make sure you are wearing your sexiest bra, just in case.”
Riley almost spits out her drink laughing. “I mean, she’s not wrong. Not because he’ll see it, though. You should wear it anyway, it’ll make you feel confident.”
I pull back my hair that is in desperate need of a root touch up, and put it in a high messy loose bun. I want to be comfy in a movie theater and need it high enough that it won’t bump against the seat the whole movie. Taking Riley’s advice, I head into my room to find my cutest matching bra and panty set, and change into them. Riley’s right, she always is. I feel more confident, even if no one will see them but me. I slip back into my black pencil skirt and a hunter green top that has a high neck but accentuates my curves. It’s casual, but formal enough that if he takes me to a nice restaurant I won't be underdressed.
Walking back into the bathroom, Lily is sitting on the floor, now 2 glasses of wine into the bottle. Riley is touching up her own makeup. I twirl and ask the girls, “Ok, how do I look?”
They both turn to me with huge smiles and twinkling eyes. “Oh, Em, you look amazing!”
Riley pushes past me to my closet and pulls out my one and only pair of Louboutins. “But don’t forget the shoes!”
