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Ethan: Ok if I bring a plus 3?
Lily: Guys or girls? I don’t think Emma needs a Why Choose? romance right now.
Ethan: No, it’s for you sweetheart! Time to spice things up with Andrew!
Lily: I mean…
Ethan: I’m kidding! But in all seriousness, I finished a hot regency romance novel that’s like if Jane Austen decided to join a poly-knot, if you want to borrow it.
Ethan: That’s not why I’m texting you though. Please don’t hate me, I want to invite Dylan and his girls.
Lily: What are you up to?
Ethan: Amazing surprise for Emma! Bonus is I get to be the hero, and I suppose she also gets to live happily ever after with Mr. Darcy.
Lily: Aww, you called him Mr. Darcy!
Ethan: That isnot a compliment. If I wanted to compliment him, I would have called him Colonel Brandon. Now that man had game!
Lily: I am not going to ask how you know that, but I am here for it! Ok, I won’t tell Em, but do you think this is a good idea?
Ethan: It’s my idea, so it’s obviously it is.
Lily: I hope you’re right!
Ok, even I’ll admit this is probably the stupidest idea I’ve ever come up with, but I love Emma and want her to have a happily ever after.Ugh, why does it have to be with an unwicked candle of a man?I sigh and pull up my web browser on my phone to send Lily a copy of Emily Rath’s books that I mentioned to her, with overnight delivery—who doesn’t love a book where three hot men want you and each other? Time for Lily to take a break from cartoon cover romcoms and dial up the spice!
Now that that’s settled, I need to order hideous plaid pants for this little intervention. “Ok, send me your address, I’ll be there around 5:30, I have to do a pick-up order first…what size pants do you and your girls wear?”
He stops with his burger an inch from his mouth and sets it down. “Why the fuck are you asking about my daughters’ pants?”
“Sorry, did you not hear I’m putting in an order? Ohh…I just realized I had that whole conversation without you. Ok, here’s the synopsis for you—you love Emma, I love Emma, I want Emma to be happy even if it’s with you.So,I am going to save the day.”
“I’m not following…”
“Of course you’re not. Keep up, Ben Affleck knockoff. I’m picking you up tonight. You’re coming to Lily’s. You’re bringing your girls. You’re joining in for buffalo plaid night. I am going to be the Man of Honor at the wedding, and plan the damn thing at cost. You’ll mention in your speech about how I am the hero in your story. And I’ll go home with a bridesmaid, or groomsman. The end.”Damn, I’m good!
“We’re on a break. I don’t think she wants to see me after yesterday.”
“Yes, she does. She’s my best friend, I know her better than you. But look, if we do this, you need to show her that you’re just there to spend time with her, not naked. Hence, the kid buffer. I know you guys can’t keep your hands off each other whenever you’re in the same room for ten seconds…”
“Why are you doing this?” I get it, he doesn’t trust me. I wouldn’t trust me either if I was in his bargain-bin loafers.
“I told you, I was an asshole yesterday and need to make it up to Emma.”Man, this guy isn’t that bright, is he?
“Let me check with the girls and see if they want to come. If they are, I’m in.”
“Great, it’s settled. Lunch is on you, right? Since I am kind of saving the day and all.” Keith never charges me, but I’m not about to let Dylan know that.
He laughs. “Sure.”
We finish lunch and go our separate ways. I get a text from him later that afternoon with sizes for the three of them, place an online order, and pick it up on my way home.Time to save the day!
Chapter twenty-four
Dylan
Ethanisrightontime, pulling up to my house at 5:30. The girls and I talked today about how I’m dating Emma—which they totally figured out when they met her at the bookstore. They were entirely too excited about it. Both are on-board with Ethan’s plan and agreed to come along.
