Page 38 of One Cut Deeper


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With the coppery taste of blood in my mouth, a question pops into my head. “May I ask you a personal question?”

“Always. The more personal the better.”

“How did you learn that blood arouses you?”

I can hear him breathing, steady and regular, but it takes him a few moments to reply. “Sorry, I’m not trying to think of a way to blow off your question. I’m trying to remember how it first came to be.”

“I mean, were you young? Did you fall down and skin your knee, see the blood, and get all uncomfortable and weird?”

He laughs. “Not at all. If you fell down and skinned your knee, would the pain set you off?”

“Not deliberately. I like pain, sure, but in a sexual setting. Regular pain is just pain.”

“Exactly. And regular blood is just blood. There’s more to the story, but it’s a long and complex one.”

“Okay. When you’re ready.”I want to know everything about you.

“Why don’t you tell me about your friends you spoke to.”

“I don’t know anyone here in Springfield other than family.” I hesitate a moment, hoping he won’t be upset. “So I talked to my friends online. Is that okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be? They’reyourfriends.”

I close my eyes and sag deeper into the mattress. “I didn’t know for sure. My family hates them because that’s where I met Josh.”

“I see. Was Josh online with you?”

“Not today. He used to come to the same server, but they kicked him out after what happened with me.”

“Then I like these friends even more.” The warmth in his voice fills me up with joy and relief. “Friends are a good thing. You need their support.”

“They helped me through the break-up as much as they could. Once I came home, my family wanted me to stay offline. If my sister knew I still hung out with them, trying to drum up another loser, as she called them, she’d have a fit. So I haven’t visited with them as often as I’d like.”

“You need your friends, especially people who understand what you are and how you feel. Your sister isn’t living your life. You are.”

My family loves me, sure. But I have the unfortunate tendency of giving up things for people who love me. Even when they have the best of intentions. “Yeah.”

“You do need to be careful, though. There are men in this world who’d risk a great deal to track down a special little sub like you. They’d rip you apart. They’re the worst kind of predator.”

“You won’t let that happen.” I say confidently, without hesitation, but I’m surprised when he doesn’t immediately reply. I wait, my fingers tightening on the phone.

When he answers, his voice is so gruff I can barely understand him. “I’m a predator too, Ranay. You’d be better off without me.”

I shoot upright and clutch the phone. “No. No, I wouldn’t. I need you, Master. I need you so much…” My throat closes off and I can’t speak. All I can do is clutch the phone like a lifeline.

“Oh, Ranay.” He sighs heavily. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

Ice creeps around my heart. I suddenly have the awful thought that I might never see him again, even though I’m in his bed and house. I don’t know what to do or say, afraid to cling too hard and drive him away.

“I was supposed to help you. Protect you. Not start counting the days myself until I can finally come home and bury myself in your sweet heat again.”

Relieved, I laugh shakily. “This heat is all yours, Master.” He doesn’t return my laughter and I sense heaviness from him in the way he breathes. I scramble around for another topic to try to lighten his mood. “You’ve met my family but I don’t know anything about yours.”

Silence. He isn’t even breathing now. I draw my knees up, a shivering ball in his bed. Stupid, so stupid! Family is a touchy subject for most people. I love my family and yet most of the time I feel like an alien in my childhood home. If he didn’t have a happy family life, I’m asking him to rip open those wounds for me.

“I don’t have any family,” he finally says, his voice flat and empty.

“I’m sorry.” Regret tightens my throat, my eyes burning. I should have known. He’s so adamant for me to connect with my family and friends, probably because he lost his own. “You don’t have to tell me about them.”

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