AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m so scared,” she whispered painfully, the words rushing from her in a verbal waterfall as everything just poured out. “I know you didn’t want a baby, but I couldn’t keep this from you. I mean, it’s going to change our life, and I just found out on Wednesday for certain. I didn’t want to drop this bombshell on you while you were over there in Ghazni. I needed to tell you to your face, so we can talk about it as friends, lovers, spouses…”
“Soulmates,” he whispered quietly, holding her hand.
The sheer love in that single word rocketed through her brain, her heart, and her soul, causing a choked sob to emerge as she stared at him.
His eyes met hers, his form exceedingly tense, yet his hand clasped hers tightly, almost as a lifeline.
“The bracelet beads are Morse code…” he uttered softly.
“What?” she asked in disbelief, realizing he was changing the subject.
“The beads are…” he began again, his voice cracking but growing stronger. “I built it for you as a gift, because I wanted something special, something just for us, and thought it was perfect. It says, ‘soulmates’on there… in Morse code,” he repeated.
“I know you didn’t want a baby…”
“Emily, I’m scared,” John interrupted in a hushed voice. “That’s different. It’s not that I don’t want a child with you – I’m terrified at what kind of parent I would be. I don’t have any clue as to what I should do or say to a kid, nor do I feel right screwing one up like I am. I mean, I’ve had to struggle for everything in my life, and been knocked down so many times… it’s hard to believe that life could actually be this wonderful,this perfect, and I keep waiting for the next kick to knock me back down.”
“John, I don’t know how to be a parent either,” she admitted tearfully, watching him. “I’m not even sure that I like babies, because they are always pooping everywhere, and I am not a person that deals well with runny noses. What if that makes me a horrible mother?”
“Do you even want my child?” he whispered fearfully, his eyes full of tears.
“More than anything,” she hissed tearfully, chuckling in disbelief and the intensity of love that rushed through her, just thinking about her body swelling with their baby.
“I’m so scared, so worried, and so ill-equipped to handle this… but John, it’s a piece of you and me,” she breathed, laying her hand over her lower abdomen. “There’s a perfect piece of us, thriving and growing inside of me, so precious and fragile… and I love our miracle more than life itself already. I want our child with every fiber of my being.”
“Emily…” he choked out, drawing her into his arms, hugging her as she broke down crying against him. She clung to his shoulders, sobbing wretchedly, and feeling so many emotions right now… only to realize that he was crying, too.
“We’re going to have a baby,” she whispered, touching the back of his head tenderly. “We can have it all, if we are brave enough to take it. We can have our friendship, our love, our home, and a family together… if you want it.”
“You aren’t mad at me?” he asked softly, wiping his face, as his hopeful eyes met hers.
“Are you mad at me?”
“No,” he breathed. “I’m scared to death, but so incredibly happy at the same time.”
“You are?” she whimpered, feeling a fresh round of tears starting at the understanding that he wasn’t upset, but just as nervous as she was.
“Is it going to hurt anything for me to touch you?” he asked nervously, his eyes shining with love. “I know that you didn’t remember that night, but right now, I feel so much love for you that I really want to express it. Maybe I can show you what you missed when we were obviously making our baby…”
His tentative smile and flirtatious words were a balm to her soul.
“Instant replay?” she whispered, teasing him and wiping her eyes.
“A little longer than instant…” he chuckled nervously, grinning. “But not much, because it’s been a while, and I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed right now.”
Emily laughed throatily, loving how playful her husband was, and threw her arms around his shoulders, cradling him to her. John pulled her into his arms, across his lap, before kissing her tenderly.
“A baby…” he whispered, as if needing to confirm it.
“Our baby…” she replied softly, touching his jaw and tracing her thumb over his lower lip. “Our precious being made from the best parts of us.”
“I don’t d-deserve y-you,” he uttered emotionally, “… But I am never giving you up, giving you a reason to cry, or making you doubt what I feel inside of me. I never expected to feel so strongly – but you, Emily? You are the miracle to me.”
Emily leaned forward, kissing him passionately, needing to show him just how much she cared, and how grateful she was to have him a part of her world.
* * *
Later that evening,they pulled up to her parents’ house for dinner, and she couldn’t help but smile at John, knowing he was nervous. They had made love, lying there and talking for a while, before he’d gotten up to shower. Now, he was standing there in his freshly pressed uniform and trying to look calm, and she could see the nervousness in his eyes.
