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While he should have been completely beside himself, would have been any other time, the urge to scream in joy was debilitating… and stunning. It brought him to tears, and he was trying to be so strong for her, especially when she admitted how scared she was.
They couldn’t both be scared,he mused idly, smiling at her in the darkness, before kissing her forehead tenderly.
Staring at her, where his hands had been on her waist and hips, he realized that very center of her being would swell gracefully with his child before his very eyes… and it was so humbling that it nearly broke him.
He didn’t deserve someone so beautiful as his Emily – and never would.
For a moment he was terrified that she didn’t want the baby, and was trying to figure out how to talk her into giving him a chance… but then he saw the protectiveness within her, that fierce ‘mama bear’ that wanted his child.
He broke.
Those fears, those tears, those secret dreams and wishes he’d only imagined were surging to the forefront, and he realized that everything he could ever want, was right there before her. He was afraid and yet so sure… and needing to be held by her.
He hugged his soulmate, crying tears of relief and joy.
“You are going to be the best little mama ever…” he whispered aloud, before kissing her again. “I love you.”
“Are you still awake?” she grumbled grumpily, causing him to laugh softly.
“I couldn’t sleep, because someone has roving hands when she’s asleep.”
“No, I don’t…” Emily protested, looking mortified in the shadows of the bedroom nightlight that glowed about six feet from him.
“No, you don’t,” he said tenderly, grinning, “… But a man can wish – can’t he?”
“Johhhnnn…” she drawled, laughing as she put her head back down on his shoulder. “Go to sleep, and I’ll make breakfast tomorrow morning.”
“Why don’t I cook… and you can sleep in, my love?”
“Hmm… incredibly sexy, funny, beautiful smile, and can cook? Maybe I’ll keep you,” she teased, kissing his shoulder playfully, causing him to smile widely.
“You’ll never get rid of me,” he said emphatically, moving to tickle her, because he wasn’t ready for her to fade away into dreams when everything he could have dreamed of himself was right there in his arms.
“I think we both know better,” Emily said in that flat sarcastic voice, causing his smile to widen even further. “You fly out in two days.”
“I meant come November…” he said tenderly, brushing back her hair from her forehead. “Come November, you’ll never get rid of me, and I want to be here when our little one arrives.”
“What?” she sat up, rubbing her eyes and reaching for her glasses on the bedstand before turning on the light. “Am I asleep? You’re not funny.”
“I’m not joking,” John replied easily, sitting up in the bed and scooting back to rest against the headboard. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m tired. I want to start our lives together, and that doesn’t happen if we are bouncing all over the globe trying to catch each other for a few days at a time.”
“What does that have to do with November?”
“I’m not renewing my contract,” he said softly, watching her face for any reaction. “I’m going to let it lapse and get my DD-214 issued so I can come home… for good.”
She stared at him for several minutes, not speaking.
“Do you mind if I come home for good? I mean, I can renew it-but I still have several years left before I can get my pension and…”
“No, I don’t mind,” she whispered, sounding like she was close to tears. “I would love to have you home.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do for a job, but I’ve got some money set aside, and we can figure it out – together.”
“Are you sure?”
“I want to be here when our baby comes,” he said tenderly. “When January hits and the infamous ‘tax season’is upon us… maybe if I am here, then I can help, or at least make sure you are fed or get some sleep… plus, with the baby’s arrival? I can help with feedings, rocking, or whatever you need from me.”
“Oh, John…”
