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“Of course.”
“I really wish I could remember more, and it’s a little alarming to think that we… that we did something together, but I don’t remember any of it. I am hoping that being out of the situation, the location, will maybe let my mind relax enough to stop freaking out.”
“Are you… still ‘freaking out’?” he asked, using her terms, and trying to focus on the road, when everything in him wanted to yank the car over to the side, hug her, and tell her it was going to be okay.
He wasn’t about to walk away from what he’d done – no matter how scary it was. If she was pregnant from his stupidity, then he would try to be there as much as possible for her in person… and definitely there for her financially.
He wouldn’t abandon her like his own father had. The man had walked away, divorced his mother, and never paid child support… which led to his mother into remarrying quickly.
“I’m a little concerned that you are so quiet – and that you were as upset as I was in the hotel room…”
“Only because you are the last person in the world that I would want to hurt…”
“Thank you for that…” she whispered, and there was something in her beautiful voice that caused him to glance at her.
His beloved Emily was gazing at him and smiling nervously, looking so unsure of herself… that he immediately pulled over.
“What… what’s wrong?”
John unbuckled and slid towards her, gathering her in his arms and kissing the little freckle on her temple that he adored so much… just holding her.
“I promise that it’s going to be okay,” he whispered, needing to tell her as much as himself. “We’regoing to be okay, and we’ll figure this out in time together. Okay?”
“I know…” her voice warbled nervously.
“Then don’t be scared or nervous, Em. It’s just me, and it would kill me if you were scared of me or what I might do…”
“I’m not scared of you,” she replied, drawing back, and looking at him in surprise, her breathtaking eyes wide. “I’m frightened that I am going to run you off, drive you away, and I really want to take this chance we suddenly find ourselves in…”
“I do too…” he admitted, feeling the car buffeted by air as a semi passed beside them at full speed. “I just never thought it would be so fast. That’s my only problem. I could always see us married, Emily… but in the future.”
She drew in her breath at his words, smiling tearfully at him.
“I could, too,” she admitted. “Just not so fast or in such a blur.”
“Right?” he chuckled, feeling grateful that she was so loving and understanding. Feeling incredibly blessed and hopeful, he smoothed back a curl from her head and tucked it behind her ear. “I adore you, Em… and I really think the world of you.”
Her beautiful smile got even wider as she gazed up at him, there in the car, before reaching up to touch his cheek.
He loved how soft her hands were, her delicate long fingers that he remembered touching his back during the early morning hours… he kissed her palm tenderly, feeling such warmth in his soul at the look in her eyes.
“It’s the same for me, John…” she replied, her voice thick with emotion. “We’re going to be okay.”
“We’re going to bewonderful,” he corrected, kissing her palm again.
“… And we are going to lose the chance to go boating if we sit here much longer,” she chuckled playfully, causing him to laugh as he gazed at her.
“Whatever my beautiful bride wants,” he teased nervously, testing the words on his lips, before kissing her hand once more before releasing it.
Sliding back over to the driver’s seat, he buckled up and felt a sense of peace start to steal into his soul as he realized everything that he said to her was the truth.
Johncouldsee them in a relationship, married, and together… it just was much farther down the road.
There had always been some sort of unspoken bond between them that he recognized the moment he’d seen her, making him feel unsettled and a little like a traitor to his pen pal, Jana at that moment, but each time they’d met again… that elusive bond grew and formed.
The destination hadn’t changed, only the timeline… and he was finding that he was more than okay with that. He felt happy that Emily was his… proud to have someone so amazing at his side.
He just wasn’t ready for the rest of it… and was terribly scared to let her down.
