Page 44 of Control Me


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Alek jumps down to the gravel below and gestures for me to come. My body is on automatic pilot as I move. Landing next to him, I sway again from the pain tearing through my body. He quickly wraps his arm around me again, and I walk because I have to. It looks like we're at a trainyard.

I was raped.

As we climb through an opening between two train carriages, Alek’s arm slams into my stomach. “Wait, let me check if it’s safe,” he whispers before peeking around the carriage.

I can hear voices and only move when Alek pulls me out into the open. “Let’s stay here,” he says, his eyes on a group of men who seem to be discussing something.

Stuck in a nightmarish trance, my eyes lock on Nikolai as he says, “I’m here on behalf of my cousin. You’re outnumbered. Let’s end this war, D’Angelo.”

He looks so angry.

I see the gun he has trained on my father, and I feel nothing.

Nothing but the atrocious horror of what just happened to me.

I can’t focus on anything but the feel of the repulsive man inside me and the way my body jerked with each thrust. The disgust and shame are so thick and dark that everything else is blocked out.

Bile churns in my stomach again, and I feel ice cold. Tremors wrack through my body, and it has Alek holding me tighter to his side where I’ve been cowering.

“I’ve got you. You’re safe,” he murmurs, his words comforting.

Somehow I think to whisper, “Don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t,” he promises.

I can’t believe Alek saved me. Deep down, I thought he’d be one of the first to try and kill me.

Slowly I lift my eyes to his face. “Thank you.”

He shakes his head. There’s intense compassion warring with rage in his eyes.

“Abbie!” I hear Aurora scream. Suddenly, her arms wrap around me, and I lose the safety of Alek as she hugs me. “They told me you were dead!”

The trembling in my body grows drastically, and a groan ripples up my throat. “It hurts, Ra-Ra,” I whisper, my voice not sounding like my own.

It hurts so much.

Aurora pulls away from me, and my eyes lock on Nikolai, who’s stalking toward me. When he reaches me, he sweeps me up into his arms, and the moment I smell him, I crack.

Desperate to feel safe, I throw my arms around his neck while ugly sobs burst from me.

He hurt me so much, Nikolai. I can’t… I can’t.

“I have you,moya dusha. I won’t let anyone hurt you again.” His voice rumbles like thunder, and it has me clinging to him for the sake of what’s left of my sanity.

My cries turn hysterical. I’m unable to control anything, and my breaths are so fast no air reaches my lungs.

I’m placed on something before Nikolai’s face is in front of mine.

“Christ,” he growls angrily. “What have they done to your face?”

The words don’t register as I wrap my arms around my middle. Closing my eyes, I check out of reality because I can’t deal with what happened to me.

I’m lifted again, and I think Nikolai positions me on a seat, strapping a safety belt over me. A door slams, and the silence stretches before I hear him climb into the car.

My body breathes because it has to, but mentally, there’s nothing left of me.

The car moves, then I hear Nikolai’s voice. It sounds as if he’s miles away. “Abigail, look at me.”

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