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And because I care for him, I won’t give him false hope. I’d never be that cruel.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever…” I hesitate before I force the words out, “be ready for a relationship.”
“I’m not asking for one,” he assures me. “I just want your friendship.”
To clarify, I say, “No friends with benefits.”
He nods. “You have complete control over our relationship.”
One of the most powerful men I know is giving me complete control.
I inhale deeply, his words acting as a soothing balm to my soul. They make me feel safe.
“Thank you.” I wrap my arms around him and press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for being patient with me.”
Nikolai lets out a chuckle. “You can reward me for my good behavior by joining me for breakfast.”
Pulling away, I smile at him. “Is feeding me a fetish you have?”
He shakes his head as he gets up. Walking to his closet, he says, “No, I just don’t like it when my woman starves.”
His woman.
Nikolai glances over his shoulder. “Are you okay with that? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“Okay with eating?” I ask.
“No. With me telling you how I feel and calling you mine?”
Be still, my swooning heart.
“Friends can love each other,” I say. “Right?”
A hot smirk curves his lips. “Of course.” He gestures to the door. “Go get ready for the day. I’ll wait for you outside your suite.”
“Yes, sir,” I chuckle, feeling so much better after the good night’s rest and knowing exactly what’s going on between Nikolai and me.
It’s one less problem to deal with, so I can use all my strength to process and heal from the rape.
It also feels good to know Nikolai supports me without knowing what happened. I feel safe with him because he doesn’t ask questions I can’t answer.
Walking to my suite, I quickly shower and change into clean cargo pants and a long-sleeve shirt. The clothes are a size too big for me, but that’s how I prefer them now.
When I step into the hallway and shut my door behind me, Nikolai’s leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
I might be broken, but I still think he’s the most attractive man I’ve ever seen.
“Ready?” he asks as he pushes away from the wall.
I nod, and as we walk to the stairs, bitterness creeps into my heart. My rapist stole so much from me, and I hope he’s suffering endless torture in hell.
Just as we head down the stairs, Nikolai’s phone rings. As he pulls the device from his pocket, he says, “Go ahead and grab us a table. I won’t be long.”
I walk to the dining room and pick a table in the corner. I sit down and pull the menu closer.
“Damn, girl,” a random guy says.
My eyes dart up, and seeing one of the cartel members who’s training here, I quickly climb to my feet.
