AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Ihad different ideas on how I wanted my life to be.
When I was a kid, I thought I’d become a doctor, like my dad. Later, in my teens, I figured I’d fare better as a lawyer, like my mom. But no matter what I did, no matter how hard I studied and how many extracurricular activities I got myself mixed up with, no matter how many sports I played or how many country club summer jobs I got… it was never enough for Mr. and Mrs. Connors. I was never good enough to go forth and prosper with our precious family name.
I know now that their exigence came from a sense of misguided love, but it messed me up in irreparable ways. It pushed me so far that I felt rejected, and so in turn I rejected everything they wanted me to do, everything they wanted me to be. By the time I was twenty, I had entirely different ambitions altogether. I’d even left the East Coast behind.
The West Coast became my home. The San Diego tech scene became my playground.
The hustle took up so much of my time and energy; I had to be quick, to learn fast, to adapt—or die. I paid attention. I rose through the ranks and pushed through with a multitude of startups until I got enough of a seed investment to build HeartMatch. At that point, I imagined myself at the top of the food chain, turning billions over with a shovel while I laughed in my parents’ faces and showed them how much I could do without a single penny of theirs. Granted, I know the name gave me a bit of weight here and there, but I still had to prove myself.
I swore I would retire before I turned thirty-five. That I would work like a maniac through my twenties and spend the first part of my thirties setting myself up for an early retirement. I wanted to travel, to experience different cultures and meet new people and get the most out of this experience called life since it was and still is a fragile thing; it can disappear in the blink of an eye.
We have so little time on this earth, I couldn’t let any of it go to waste.
When I met John, when I realized that he could provide me with everything I needed to leave a happy company behind while I tackled a bold new future, I felt reinvigorated and eager to take life, this precious life by the horns. But then Becky came along.
Rebecca Alderson, this girl that wasn’t and still isn’t my type. We have barely anything in our lives in common other than similar tastes in movies and the workplace itself—and I’m about to leave that behind, anyway. We know enough about each other now; we’ve learned enough. We made love that one time. Listen to me, calling itlove. I can’t say we had sex, though. No, we made love that night. We did. I gave myself unto her, fully, and she gave me herself with equal passion and desire…
There’s no denying that.
She came into a life I had already carefully planned out, and like a bull in a china shop, she stumbled through the whole thing and reduced everything to dusty smithereens.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the past few days. Her rejection hurt me more than anything else, and for a long time, I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t understand why I was taking it to heart when our relationship was never meant to go past its professional boundaries anyway.
But here I am, walking out of my office, three days after I learned that I’m going to be a father of not one, not two, but five children…
Calmly, I smile at everyone I pass by. Piper watches me suspiciously from behind her desk but she doesn’t say a word. She doesn’t know about the pregnancy but she does know I’ve been out of it lately, so she has kept a reasonable distance. I can only appreciate her for the subtle way in which she has been able to support me. I head toward the elevator and step in.
Breathing deeply, I let the doors slide closed and press the appropriate button.
It will be okay, I tell myself as I step out into the bullpen of the graphics department. It’s a familiar sight; I’ve been coming through here more often lately, if only to steal glances at this amazing woman who has ravaged my life in every possible way.
I find Becky at her desk. Everyone else stares as I approach their side of the bullpen. Vincent is the first to turn around in his swivel chair and smile awkwardly. “Good morning, boss,” he says.
“Huh?” Becky replies as she follows his gaze and sees me. “Oh. Hey…”
“Hey. Can we talk for a moment?” I ask, politely pointing at a clear wall with nothing but a watercooler to keep it company.
She stares at me for a second, then gets up and brushes the creases from her dark brown dress. I think the bump will soon start to show and she’s looking to slide into maternity wear without anyone noticing. I know she doesn’t want anyone to know for the time being, and I am literally the last one to make a big fuss about it. “Sure,” she says and follows me away from the desk area.
Once we’re at the watercooler, I take a moment to look around. Everybody is watching us, and I cannot stop that. It’s something I took into account from the moment I decided to come down here. I guess in my subconscious I already knew what I was doing before I started doing it. I give Becky a soft smile and an appreciative nod.
“I’ve been the luckiest man to have met you, Becky,” I tell her. “I know it hasn’t been easy, and I know we’ve made everything infinitely more complicated, but I have to say these things, you know I have to… I am grateful for everything you’ve done and for everything else that you are about to do.”
“Um… thanks…”
“With that in mind, I still need you in this last stretch with John. Your presence, our synergy as a couple, it all helped speed up the process. The audits are complete, the papers are ready to sign… I think of you as a good-luck charm, and I would really appreciate it if you could be there with me when I sign over the company to him.”
She blinks several times, genuinely surprised by my request. Our collaboration was supposed to be over by now. John doesn’t need her to be there, anyway. The deal is done. I have already succeeded in convincing him that I’m the reliable family man that I made myself out to be—I’ve built a splendid lie in that sense…
And now, I’m asking her to partake in the circus one last time. While she’s carrying my five children. This may be too much, even for her, but it serves a purpose. It’s all supposed to lead somewhere better. The way I imagined things would end… and I need her to be present when that happens.
“I know I’ve done nothing to deserve your cooperation going forward. You can say no if you want to; I will understand,” I add, hearing the raw nerves in my voice. “But I’m hoping you’ll come to the signing tomorrow. It would mean the world to me.”
Becky looks deep into my eyes, and for the longest minute, I feel like everything is right in the world, and that when the sun rises again tomorrow, I will be okay. There’s a certain sense of peace that comes from her faint smile, while my heart starts galloping at the sight of her pink, glossy lips stretching slowly.
“Okay, I’ll come to the signing,” she says. “But that’s it. Then it’s over. I’m done with you and John and the whole husband-and-wife nonsense, all right?”
“Absolutely. It’s your last performance, I promise.”
