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CHAPTER TWELVE
Vanessa
“Thankyou,”Isay,passing a bill to the cab driver.
I grab my suitcase, trying not to look at it. I know it’s just a dumb piece of luggage, but it’s all the memories of him that have somehow attached themselves to this inanimate object.
The jokes about its size.He was so funny. The way he plucked it out from beneath the naked man.He did anything for me. The way he slapped my hand away whenever I tried to wheel it myself.He was a gentleman.
I fight back the tears and force my legs forward.
The airport is chaos. There are people everywhere, all yelling to their travel companions at the top of their lungs. The PA speaker above me echoes around the terminal, announcing arrivals and departures every few seconds.
I find my way to the check in counter. I’m called twice when I reach the front of the queue, but it’s not until the lady behind me shouts in my ear that I realize it’s my turn.
“Thank you, Miss,” the young girl behind the counter smiles as I pass her my booking papers. “And are you checking in your bag?”
I look down and I swear I see his large, strong hand curled around the handle. My heart splits in half and I’m nodding furiously, waving a backwards hand at the case.
‘Yes, please. Take it,” I sob.
As tears begin to fall, I should be embarrassed. I mean, for fucks sake, this is my choice. For once in my life, I’m doing something for me. I’ve made my own decision. I came here with a purpose to get my life back on track and I’ve damn well accomplished that.
I should be proud.
So what if I flipped a coin? Heads – I stayed. Tails – I go home and take the starring role in the next hit sitcom.
“You’ll be in seat 16A.”
The girl passes me my ticket and I grab it, quickly spinning so she doesn’t give my that sympathetic look again. I pass through security without too many suspect looks coming my way, and by the time I find the boarding gate, the final call is broadcast through the PA system.
This is it. No turning back now.
I draw in a deep breath and look behind me.
I don’t know what I’m expecting. Do I want him to come running after me? Will that prove me right? Will that show me that he truly does love me, and he really does want me to stay?
Fuck.
But he won’t. He can’t.
I left a note on the counter, and by now Aiden would be home from hockey practice. His heart would be broken, so why that teasing thought at the back of my mind still lingers… I don’t know.
He’s not coming for you, Vanessa.
I step forward and scan the boarding pass. A giant green tick appears on the screen, and I pass through the gates, saunter down the concourse and wait in line at the door of the plane.
A sniff tickles the tip of my nose, every ounce of my chest aching to burst out in tears. The two people standing hand in hand in front of me turn around. They smile, but the richness in their expression tells me everything I need to know about how I look right now.
The line shuffles forward and when I reach my seat, I let go.
My face burns beneath hot tears as they steam down my cheeks. A well-dressed man settles in the seat beside me, and I feel his cautious gaze sear into the back of my head. But I’m so far gone I don’t care anymore.
The engine rumbles beneath my feet and I feel the cabin shift. I watch out the window, swiping at my eyes as I bid farewell to the love of my life and try to focus on the dream I once had.
The dream I had before I met him.
Emotion swells in my chest while the stewardesses start the safety routine, but when the plane is suddenly pulled to a halt, I’m launched forward in my seat so quickly my forehead connects with the seat in front of me.
