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“I should make us some tea,” I say, pushing up on my knees. “Then you can continue ripping this shithole of a cabin to shreds.”
I bring the kettle to the tap and take a moment to draw in some oxygen as it fills. I ignite the flame on the stove and place the kettle down, sneaking a look over my shoulder.
For a few perfect moments, it feels like the world has stopped moving. The storm outside has passed, the snow has settled, and everything is perfect. Hannah just sits there, breathing, blinking, searching around with a tight smile. She moves so very slowly, and I can’t help but think how natural it all looks.
It’s like shebelongshere. This could be her home. This could be her life. Sheltering in the safety ofourhome, warm and snuggled up together, just like we should be.
A low groan deepens in my throat. Fuck. I force those thoughts back for now.
“I don’t have any cream,” I say, pouring the boiling water into the mugs. “The storm caught me by surprise.”
Hannah’s eyes lock on mine. “That’s ok. Just tea is fine.”
I settle down and pass her the mug. “So now you’ve finally remembered who the hell I am, can I ask…” She nods, slurping the mug with a sheepishly guilty expression. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing driving up here in the middle of a storm?”
I don’t mean to sound so harsh as the words spit from my mouth. Perhaps years and years of little-to-no hospitality has made me forget how to speak to people properly. Even if it is the girl I fell in love with all those years ago.
Hannah swallows and holds her throat as if the tea has scorched her insides. I’m kicking myself for speaking so firmly, but I hold a firm stare. She needs to know this mountain isn’t just a game. If anything ever happened to her, onmyland, fuck… I wouldn’t ever forgive myself.
“This isn’t just somewhere that you can ‘visit’ whenever you feel like it.”
“I know, it was dumb.” She slams a hand on her forehead. I feel the pain in her eyes and move in closer. “I was trying to prove a point.”
“Prove a point?” I bellow. “To who? Who the hell do you have to prove anything to, Hannah?”
“No one! I don’t know… I was just trying to do… do…” Another scrunched face and smack against her frizzled brow. “Argh! I don’t know, ok? I don’t know what I was doing. I don’t ever know what I’m doing.”
I slide across, hating the way her cheeks are puffy and red now. It’s like she’s about to explode.
“Talk me through it,” I say, trying to be as gentle as I can with a voice that sounds like a tire crunching over gravel. I edge closer still, unsure if the look Hannah gives me is a warning to back off or not. “You’ve been holding onto this, haven’t you?”
She nods and blinks silently up at me. “See… nothing has changed. Nothing. Even when you’ve been gone all these years, Colt. You’re still a stand up guy, you know that?”
I shrug. “Someone’s gotta be.”
She smirks and allows me to curl an arm around her, pulling her so close I get a waft of sweet vanilla and cinnamon. She lets out a long, deep sigh that makes her sink into the soft cushions behind us. The fire cracks and I’m just sitting here, holding the best friend I ever had, staring into her leafy green eyes, wanting nothing more than to tell her to never leave.
“Tell me what’s going on.”
“Well, where should I start?” She releases another sigh before drawing in a deep breath that makes her chest explode. “My brother ripped away the only exciting thing in my life. Getting out of that stale office? Heading on the road and seeing the world beyond the same, dull fucking streets, day in, day out. Fuck, I’ve wanted that for so long.”
“You work for your brother?”
She nods. “Yeah, unfortunately. He might be my little brother, but he’s a hell of a lot smarter than I am. His company is on the rise and I’m just holding on for the ride.”
“Come on… Xavier was always a good guy, but I’m sure he’s fair.”
Her eyes pop. “This promotion is something I’ve been begging for. He doesn’t trust me to undertake even basic inspections, so this was a big deal. Dad has drilled it into him right from the beginning of starting up the company…Don’t trust Hannah…Don’t trust Hannah…You remember what is was like? My parents still won’t let me live a life of my own.”
I nod along, listening intently.
She continues telling me about her struggles. An emotional outpouring that has my belly twitch with a feeling of guilt for not being there for her.
I know Hannah’s pain throughout high school. Xavier casted a big shadow over his sister and she never got the attention like he did. Like most teenagers, she wanted independence. She wanted to be her own person, allowed to grow and live for herself.
But she also strived for the love of her parents.
Something I knew the pain of all too well.
