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“That too,” I admitted. “But mostly it was because we wanted to experience what our livescouldbe when we finally break out. After three years, I needed a reminder. I’m just soexhausted.”
Rogan nodded. “I can sympathize. It can be tough struggling through the shit, roughing it and holding out hope that things will get better.”
I grunted. “When haveyouever roughed it?”
“Afghanistan.”
I blinked. “Oh.”
“We were in the SEALs for six years,” he said. “Training was a bitch. Our actual deployments were even rougher. One time, our evac site was overrun by hostiles and we had to trek eighty miles to the Pakistan border. That was a long week.”
“Isn’t Afghanistan land-locked? TheNavySEALs wouldn’t be there.”
Rogan stared back at me placidly. “That’s not how it works.”
Something in his tone, and in his eyes, told me not to challenge him. He was telling the truth, and would never lie about that kind of thing. I clamped my lips shut.
“No matter how tough it is to share a studio apartment, it still beats the hell out of sleeping in the desert with a thousand hostiles searching for you.”
“At least there aren’t rats in the desert,” I said with a smile. “Right?”
He returned the smile. “We had scorpions instead. And camel spiders. Don’t Google the latter. You’ll have nightmares.” He shuddered.
Spiders didn’t bother me, but I didn’t want any part of something that could make a man like Rogan shudder. I got up and checked the ice cream. It was nice and soft now.
“Okay, you win,” I said while fixing myself a bowl. “Being deployed to Afghanistan is worse than living in a tiny studio.”
“Deployments weren’t the only tough part,” he said. “Being home was just as bad. Maybe even worse.”
I made a face at him. “How so?”
He drank the rest of his wine, then grabbed the bottle. “Anticipation. See, our deployments weren’t like other branches of the military. Ours were always spur-of-the-moment. Zero warning. A phone call to pack our bags and get to base as soon as possible. My last deployment, I was six beers deep at a Dodgers playoff game when I got word. Had to rush home in the middle of the fifth inning. I sobered up real quick.”
Rogan shook his head. “That kind of thing wears on you. I was never able to relax because at any minute I could get that phone call.” He stared off at nothing. “It’s like waiting for a gun to go off. Your entire body is tense because youknowthe bang is coming. There’s no such thing as down-time. There’s only deployment, andwaitingfor deployment. Don’t get me wrong: I loved it. I was good at it. I’ve never felt so alive as I did when we were on a mission. But there’s only so much a guy’s nerves can take.”
He blinked as if remembering where he was, and who he was talking to. “Not trying to one-up your situation. This isn’t a pissing contest over who had it worse. But I understand going through hell while waiting for something better. It was a huge relief when we finally got discharged and started HLS Security.”
“Fuck, I bet,” I said.
He smirked and gestured with the wine bottle. “You’re going to have to watch your language when you’re nannying our kids.”
“IfI nanny your kids,” I corrected. “Not when. I still find the idea of working for three guys who kidnapped me to be… strange.”
Rogan sighed. “We don’t normally operate like that. We’ve been desperate. Private security is a cut-throat business here in Los Angeles. Our competitors have been sabotaging us at every turn. Especially Jimmy Cardannon, over at Heimdall Security. When you showed up last night and started bashing our company, I wascertainyou were a plant. Still, it was wrong to do it. I know an apology is inadequate, but… I’m sorry.”
An apologywasinadequate after what had happened, but it meant a lot coming from Rogan. It seemed heartfelt. Iwantedto accept the apology.
“Think about your career,” he said, returning to the topic at hand. “You’ve been in this city three years, and you haven’t made any progress as an actor. You’re still unrepresented. Nanny for us for six months, and we can change all that. If it were me, I would take it.”
“You’re not me,” I muttered while eating the rest of my ice cream. “I still don’t understand why you want me. If you have all this cash to spend, then you could hire anyone in Los Angeles to do it. Hell, for what you’re paying me per month, you could probably clone Mary Poppins.”
“We’ve been through several nannies already,” Rogan replied simply. “The boys are a handful. We need someone who can put them in their place, get them in line. Last night in the suite? You yelled at everyone as iftheywere the intruders rather than you. I knew then and there you could handle our boys.”
“You make it sound like they’re the spawn of satan.”
“They very well might be demons,” Rogan chuckled. “Especially Dustin, Brady’s boy.”
“So is that why you came here?” I asked. “To wait until I was comfy and full of ice cream before convincing me to take the job?”
