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I began to swing the door closed, but he stuck out a foot to stop it. Then he extended his hand and said, “James Cardannon. My friends call me Jimmy. You can call me Jimmy, love, if you promise to be my friend.”
His smile was too wide, and didn’t match the threatening look in his eyes. I ignored his outstretched hand and said, “I’ve heard of you. You’re their competitor.”
Cardannon lowered his hand and chuckled. “Heimdall Security is the premiere personal security company in the western hemisphere.” He gestured with a hand. “This little operation is no more our competitor than a molerat is the competitor of a savannah lioness.”
“They also told me you were a dick,” I said. “Guess they’re two-for-two.”
“You are delightful.” Cardannon chuckled and peered beyond me into the residence. “Not much of a maid, it appears. I’m assuming your skills lie elsewhere. If you ever want to come work for me instead…”
Okay, now Ireallyhated this guy.
“I’m nannying their children,” I said sweetly. “When some poor woman finally lets you stick your shriveled cock inside her, maybe you’ll have a need of my services.”
To my dismay, Cardannon didn’t react to the dig. “I have six children, all perfect little angels. Conceived naturally, of course. Not some Frankenstein litter spawned in a test tube.”
It took me a moment to realize he was referring to Micah, Dustin, and Cora.
I strode across the living room and rummaged through my purse. “Are you getting your card?” Cardannon asked. “I’m afraid I was only joking about hiring you away. My own au pair is quite capable.”
I found what I was looking for inside the purse and held it up. “I’m getting my taser. Because when I’m done with you—which won’t be until the battery on this baby dies—your balls will look like shriveled, scorched raisins.”
A growl escaped my lips as I marched back to the front door. Cardannon continued grinning at me. He didn’t think I would do it.
Big mistake.
I jabbed the electronic prongs of the taser into his crotch and squeezed the trigger. His smile disappeared and was promptly replaced by surprise, and thenpain. He made a noise like a squeaky toy being savaged by a Rottweiler, and fell back against the wall.
“You fuckingbitch,” he cursed at me, holding his crotch. A tendril of smoke drifted up from a scorch mark on his left pant leg.
I smiled. “I think I got your thigh by accident. It’s tough to hit such a small target. I’m willing to try again if you are.” I held up the taser and squeezed the trigger, causing electricity to arc between the two prongs.
A door banged open downstairs. Rogan came rushing up the stairs, followed by Brady and Asher.
“Sorry if we’re making too much noise,” I told them. “This guy squeals like Cora. But higher-pitch.”
“We saw the security alert when the doorbell rang,” Rogan said. He put himself between me and Cardannon.
Brady stopped at the top of the stairs and barked a laugh. “You need to get outside more, Jimmy. You look paler than Casper’s bleached asshole.”
“Brady Lowe,” Cardannon said, voice returning to its normal octave. “Charming, as always.”
Brady sniffed the air. “Have hookers been putting cigarette butts out on your crotch again? You gotta find safer fetishes, man. I’m not one to kink-shame, but that kind of action is weird.”
Asher saw the taser in my hand. Suddenly it was like a switch had been flicked. Asher grabbed Cardannon’s necktie and pushed him back against the wall roughly.
“Did you touch her?” he growled. “So help me God…”
“Everything’s all right,” I said. “He didn’t touch me.”
“Your psychotic nanny tasered me without provocation!”
I gritted my teeth. “I won’t repeat what he said, but he insulted the children.”
Brady looked at me. “Youtaseredhim just because of something he said?”
Shame flushed through my body. If Brady thought I had overreacted…
“Fuckennice,” Brady said, holding up his hand for a high-five. He smacked his palm against mine roughly. “You’re getting a raise.”
