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Rogan took hold of me by the shoulders like a coach who was about to give an inspiring speech. “Even though it’s only a commercial, this is a big step for you. Go out there and be the Heather Hart I know you can be.”
For a few moments, his words found purchase in my mind. If Rogan could believe in me, then surely I could believe in myself. I was Heather Hart, goddamnit, and no role was too small for me.
Here we go,I thought as I got into my Uber.Time to kick some ass.
34
Heather
I rehearsed my lines on the ride over to the filming location. It wasn’t hard. I only had three lines. But damned if I didn’t read those lines a hundred more times.
We were shooting on location at a high school football field. I got out of the Uber and walked across the field to where everyone was waiting. But on the way, I ran into a familiar face leaning against a tree and scrolling through TikTok on his phone.
“Maurice! What are you doing here?”
He rolled his eyes at me. “You think I would miss my bestie’s first role? Nuh uh, honey. You aresorelymistaken. I need to be here watching every single moment!”
He hugged me, and then we walked toward the site together. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine. It doesn’t feel real yet.”
Maurice looked sideways at me. “How the hell did you get this part, anyway? Didn’t you bomb the audition?”
“I’m just as confused as you are. Maybe my half-assed attitude at the audition came across as teenage angst.”
“Lucky you,” Maurice muttered. “Five auditions this month and I haven’t gotten so much as a callback. You’d better nail this one, honey. For both of us! Then I can ride your coattails into the sunset!”
I started to doubt myself as we neared the set. Other actors were working their butt off to get parts like this, and I sort of stumbled into it without trying. It made me doubt if I was good enough.
The set was a roped-off area around the football bleachers. There was a security guard checking IDs, so I introduced Maurice as my agent so he could get on the set. I was whisked into a makeup trailer, where a stylist teased my hair for a few minutes, added a fake nose ring, then applied makeup.
I was impressed when she was done. I actually looked like a teenager who was wearing her mom’s makeup.
A page girl led me out to the set, where I met the director. He looked and sounded like Woody Allen’s smaller, whinier brother. I met the other two actors at wardrobe, and then we took our places.
The scene was about as stereotypical as you could imagine: I was playing Bad Girl Number One, who was smoking underneath the bleachers with her friend. I was even wearing a leather jacket to go with my nose ring, just in case it wasn’t obvious how bad I was. The third girl—GG in the script, for Good Girl—would walk by the bleachers. You could tell she was a good girl because she was carrying a handful of books, because apparently this commercial was being shot in a world without backpacks. My character would offer her a cigarette. Good Girl would then politely—but firmly—inform us that smoking causes lung cancer.
I would laugh at her, and then came my big line: “Screw off, nerd.”
That’s right. My acting career was beginning with the Shakespearean prose,screw off, nerd.
Try to hold your applause.
Anyway, the director was taking this commercialveryseriously. He gave stage instructions to each of us individually before we started filming. The way he talked to me, you would have thought he was imparting the meaning of life upon an eager disciple. But I was an actor, so I smiled and pretended like everything he said was the one true gospel.
I just wanted to get this over with so I could get back to nannying. And playing with the dads, of course. Tonight, Brady and Asher were both home, and I was hoping for a reenactment of the fun we’d had in the man-cave a few weeks ago.
The director sat in his little chair, he waved to people, and then just like in the movies, he shouted, “Action!”
The first take went smoothly. The two camera crews circled us like buzzards, capturing the scene from different angles. This wasn’t something I had practiced for, but I was able to tune them out and focus on the part.
I don’t want to brag, but I totally nailed it on the first try. Sure, it was only a couple of lines, but I rocked them. For twenty-six long seconds, IbecamePopular Girl Number One. The teenage angst was off the charts.
When the scene ended, the director nodded emphatically. “Excellent. That was an excellentpracticerun. Now let’s try it for real this time.”
I gave a start. “Practice run?”
The other girl grimaced and lowered her voice. “They always do a lot of takes.”
