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“This is the best for everyone,” I said. “Especially for Amber.”
“I hope that’s true,” Owen said, getting up and opening the door so I could leave. “For your sake, I hope so.”
63
Amber
I was numb as I sat on the Southbound CalTrain back to San Mateo. When I got out of bed this morning, everything in my life was amazing. I had woken up with two wonderful men in bed with me, cuddling from either side. I was happier than I ever thought I could be.
And in the span of a few hours, everything felt like it was falling apart.
What made it especially painful was the knowledge that itshouldn’tbe a bad thing. If Google purchased ACS, my stock options would be worth a fuckload of money. I should be celebrating with the others. But I couldn’t help but feel like something amazing was coming to an end.
Jude and Owen will be gone. I tried imagining myself going into work every day. Who would occupy the two corners offices? I doubted it would be someone I liked. Probably some Google middle-manager who didn’t know a boolean variable from an integer.
When I got home, I went up to my room and sat at my computer desk. Being here in the middle of the day was a reminder of what my life was like before ACS. I stayed up until the small hours of the morning, and slept in until noon. I played videogames all day. I lazily searched for jobs and convinced myself I didn’t want any of them, because I didn’t want to work for a big, soulless corporation.
Back then, I was lost. I didn’t realize it at the time, but now it was obvious. ACS had given me stability. It had given me a purpose. Would I still have that once we had been acquired? I didn’t think so.
I was finally happy. My life was perfect, both professionally and romantically. What did money matter compared to that?
Okay, it mattered a lot. Sure. But it wasn’teverything, and that was a glaring fact now that I was here.
My sister’s door opened down the hall and I heard her pause. “Hello? Is someone here?”
“It’s me.”
She came over to my room, a frown on her face. “What are you doing at home?”
I told her about Larry Page’s arrival, and the looming acquisition. When she cheered and hugged me, I told her about the rest. How Owen and Jude would step down. How everything would change. I expected her to laugh in my face, to tell me that I was being dumb, but instead she hugged me fiercely.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “How can I help?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
She sat cross-legged on the ground and pulled out her phone. “I’ll do what I’m good at. Some financial projections. Tell me how many Restricted Stock Units you have.”
We spent a few minutes looking up information and adding it all up. When we were done, Michelle stared at the calculator app with awe.
“Somewhere between five and ten million,” she breathed. “That’s how much you’ll get, depending on the sale price.”
I leaned back in the chair and groaned. “I wish it wasn’t such a big number. It would make it easier to be upset.”
“Five million, invested in an index fund,” she said, sounding like she was talking to herself. “With a safe withdrawal rate of four percent, that’s two hundred thousand dollars a year. Without ever having to touch the principle.”
“I would be able to pay off the rest of our debt,” I said. “My student loans, and yours.”
“Don’t worry about me,” she said, waving a hand dismissively. “I’ll be graduating next year and will get a high-paying finance job. I’ll be able to handle my own debt.”
I didn’t argue with her, but I wasn’t about to let her do that. I was the only family she had. I wanted to take care of her. If I was getting a fat payday, you bet your ass I was going to use part of it to ensure my sister started her life debt-free.
“Let’s say the sale goes through,” Michelle said. “And your two boyfriends cash out and leave. That means you can be with them without any awkwardness. They won’t be your bosses anymore. No problematic discussions about power dynamics or abuses of their positions. You can actuallybewith them, one of them or both, without any roadblocks. Isn’t that great?”
“Sure, I guess,” I said. “But will it be the same? Right now, we have this joint goal we’re working toward. A shared mission to make ACS the best cryptocurrency company it can be. If you take that away… will our relationship even work?”
“Okay,” Michelle said slowly, thinking it over. “What are Owen and Jude going to do next? Guys like them don’t just retire at age thirty and play golf for the rest of their lives.”
“I’ve heard them mention starting another company. Some other project.”
