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“Thank you,” I said. “I wish I had something to give you in return.”
“You have given me the best gift of all,” he said, smiling warmly at me in particular. Then he looked around and added, “A piece of your company!”
“We didn’t give it to him,” I heard Owen mutter. “He bought it for alotof money.”
Furio didn’t hear because he was busy clapping Jude on the back and hugging him goodbye. My heart raced when it was my turn, and once again Furio graced both of my cheeks with soft kisses.
And then, as quickly as they had arrived, Furio Rossi and his entourage were gone.
“Gift baskets,” Owen mused when it was just the two of us. “Whodoesthat? This was a business transaction, not a holiday gift exchange.”
“I think it was nice of him,” I said.
“Yeah, I’m sure the gift basket is what you liked,” Owen replied.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he replied, although his tone said that it wasn’t nothing at all.
“It’s nice to meet a man who is warm and friendly.” I pulled out my phone and held it up. “So much nicer than having my cell phone bricked by someone.”
He rolled his eyes and went upstairs.
39
Amber
I spent the night at Jude’s place. The two of us fell into each other like lovers that had been apart for ages rather than just a few days. Jude’s kisses were hungry and possessive in a way that surprised—and thrilled—me.
Maybe Jude’s the one I like more, I thought.
The next day, Owen came into my office and closed the door. “I’m sorry. I’ve been kind of a dick.”
“Yes, true,” I said. “But that’s been true since I started working here.”
That got him to smirk for a minute, but he quickly hid it. “Furio intimidates me. And I have a weird way of dealing with that. When he’s around, I feel inadequate.”
I blinked in surprise. “You? Inadequate?”
He went on as if I hadn’t spoken. “Furio Rossi has always been a billionaire. He was born with more money than anyone could ever spend in a lifetime. He grew into it. Because of that, it comes naturally for him. He’s smooth and suave and charming.”
“If I agree with you, are you going to get mad at me?” I asked.
He shook his head. “For me, all of it feels totally different. For one thing, I’m just a billionaire on paper. Most of my wealth is still tied up in stock options that I can’t exercise for three more years.”
“So you’re jealous of thetypeof money he has.”
“Will you let me finish?” I nodded, and he went on. “For another thing, it feels weird for me. Before we sold PayScale, I was struggling. I had no savings account, no stock portfolio. Nothing. Then, overnight it all changed. I went from sharing a studio apartment with Jude to suddenly having more money than I ever thought was possible. Sometimes, I feel like I have impostor syndrome about it. Like I typed in a cheat code and ran right to the end of the videogame.”
He leaned against the closed door and crossed his arms, staring at the ground rather than at me. “People judge me for it, too. I didn’t earn my way up. I’m just a tech-bro who got lucky and sold his company at the right time. Which, honestly, is true. At least partly. And since they think I’m just a cocky tech-bro who doesn’t belong in upper society, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I kind ofhaveto act like that because it’s what people expect. It’s what Zuckerberg and Dorsey and Musk do, trying hard to appear like they’re not trying hard.
“Sometimes,” he said with a hard sigh, “I wish I could just bemyself.That’s why I’m jealous about Furio. That guy is totally comfortable in his own skin, being friendly and personable and not caring who thinks twice about it. Buying random Italian tech companies and handing out gift baskets.Thatis real power. And when I see someone like Furio wield it, it makes me feel like I don’t deserve to.”
I stared at the man in my office with new eyes. I had never seen Owen act this vulnerable before. It was a side of him I didn’t even know existed. My heart went out to him, and I wished that I could get up and walk across the room and hug him without the fear of someone seeing.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I think I understand, now.”
He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “So, yeah. That’s why I’ve been a dick. When I saw you and Furio flirting, it made all those insecurities bubble up to the surface.”
