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She mewls, her kitten mewl that I yearn for when we’re not together, as I thrust again. “Only you, Sir.”
I run a thumb along her bottom lip, and she sucks me into her mouth, sucking tenderly with her teeth scraping against the pad of my thumb. “Right now, though, I just want you.”
“You have me, Sir,” she says softly, shivering as a mini-orgasm sweeps through her. “However you want.” Her perky breasts flush, and her nipples pebble as I pinch them and knead her skin. She’s my toy, my pet, my submissive... she’smine.
KIERSTEN
Present
Absently stretching my arms over my head as the dream drifts away, I roll over to a familiar sensation, one that I had fervently hoped I wouldn’t feel when Gabriel joined me in bed last night. The chill of the pillow next to me and the silence in the room give it away and jolt me awake.
I’m alone.
Bringing the comforter to my chest, I sit up and listen, but I already know he’s not here. Gabriel left. Sadness pricks at the back of my throat as I try to swallow down my disappointment. But, I note as I look at my clock and check the time, I’m not being ignored. In fact, there’s a Post-It stuck right next to the clock, and my lips curl on the edges in the semblance of a smile as I recognize his handwriting.
God, I’ve missed this powerful but narrow, clear script. The bed groans as I lean over, and my hands nearly tremble as I reach out for the note.
You stayed awake all night, didn’t you, my Kiersten? Tsk, tsk. I couldn’t wake you. I’ll be back, and we’ll talk. I’ll tell you everything I can.
I unstick the note, and after I get ready for work, I tuck it in my purse, re-reading it from time to time as a mix of feelings works its way through me.
I’m taken back to a time before I knew who I was. A time where I trusted him with everything in me. A time when I was only his and nothing more.
And then he left. And I was simply nothing.
I survived, though. This version that survived isn’t anything like what I thought I would be. I could have borne waking up alone for the rest of my life if I had never seen him again. But to see him, to feel him, to have him, and then wake up alone?
With a deep breath, I fix my skirt and walk into my office as if this is just any other day, as if emotions aren’t riding high and the threat of falling apart isn’t overwhelming me.
Time passes, and I accomplish very little, memories coming and going along with doubt and hope in equal measure.
But, I think as I sip my morning coffee in my office, the note is reassuring. I know, after what happened years ago, he doesn’t owe me an explanation. But after last night, I need one. I desperately need to know every detail of what happened after he left.
“You alright, Madam Lynn?” Holden asks from seemingly out of nowhere. He startles me, and I jerk my head up, realizing that I’ve been staring into my desk drawer at my very special photo. Quickly, I shut the drawer and turn my attention to business. It bangs closed a little too loudly.
“Of course, Holden,” I reply, picking up my now lukewarm coffee and taking a sip. “Just fine.”
“You sure?” Holden asks, giving me a wary look as he fiddles with his tablet. “You had me a little worried with the text lastnight. And you didn’t answer me this morning. I was about two minutes from rushing over to your place and kicking in the door just in case.”
I smile softly and shake my head. Holden’s a sweet young man, and very protective. “You worry about me, Holden?”
He holds his hands up, grinning. “Hey now, I’m no white knight. And I know you could take care of yourself if you needed to... but I want to make sure you’re okay,” Holden said before clearing his throat. “You know, being my boss and all.”
His little defensive caveat at the end really touches me, and how this kind young man came into my life is something I’ll never quite understand but will always appreciate. “Thank you, Holden. And yes, I’m fine.”
I’d like to say I’m good, but I’m not sure I'm there just yet. I can’t say I’m good until I know what’s going to happen with Gabriel and I know the full story of how he could possibly come back. When he left me, I thought it was forever and that he’d never be able to stop running.
And there’s almost no chance for things to go back to normal. I’m not the naïve girl from years ago, the girl who started down an unknown path with nothing more than a desire to explore herself and a ton of debt to pay off.
There’s too much in my life now to get lost in the touch of a man who could easily disappear from my life overnight again.
Losing him once was difficult. Losing him twice... I don’t know how I could live.
I can’t let myself fall. I can’t allow him to ruin what I’ve made of myself after I had to pick up the pieces alone. I know why it had to happen, but just the fact that it did... I thought that meant he was gone forever.
“You sure?” Holden asks again, bringing me back to the present.
“I’m just a little lost in thought right now,” I explain. “Uhm, after this, can you have someone make sure the red rooms are up to club standard? I saw the other night that one of the edges was a little jagged.”
