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I can’t see anyone when I turn around in my seat again, yet that feeling won’t go away. I remind myself that this place is the most secure building I have access to at the moment. Joshua and his men have surrounded this place, and there’s nothing at all I can do but wait. I message Joshua just to alert him in case anything is amiss. A man in a suit enters shortly after, security for the club, but he leaves within minutes.
There’s nothing. There’s no one.
I watch the room, ignoring the women and ignoring my fantasy of winning and claiming Kiersten publicly again. There’s only one thing on my mind—find the threat and end the threat. Silently and permanently.
Because I won’t let what happened before happen again.
KIERSTEN
Present
“Idon’t like it.”
In some ways, it’s imploring. Holden sits across from me in my office, digesting the revelation I made to him about Gabriel. I’ve glossed over most of the details, of course. But I had to confide in someone, and Holden saw Gabriel in the club, he saw the collar on my neck, and he asked. So I told him. I let it pour out of me. He’s a man from my past, and not only do I vouch for him, but Joshua vouches for him as well. And we’re involved.
“There’s just something...” He licks his bottom lip as he shakes his head. “I don’t like it.”
My nerves prickle, and although I appreciate the protectiveness, it’s irritating. He thinks he can have a say in who I’m involved with?
“Why is that, Holden?” I ask. “If you want, I can point him out on the cameras. He’s not doing anything wrong or breaking any rules.”
Although we were getting rather naughty just a few hours ago.I don’t have cameras in the office, though, thank goodness.
“It’s not that. I’m just saying... this guy just waltzes back in and you’re fine with it?”
“There’s a lot of reasons he left,” I confide a little more. “Holden, I loved him. I’ve always loved him. He’s the man who inspired me to become the woman I am today. And he cares for me.” Instinctively, my fingers reach up to brush the collar, and Holden’s gaze drops before his brow furrows.
“If he loves you so much,” Holden counters, “why the hell was he a fucking ghost for twenty years?” Hearing the way his voice rises, Holden holds up a hand, taking a deep breath and calming himself. “Sorry, Madam Lynn. But it’s more than just my job to worry about you. He could be out for your money. Have you thought of that?”
Before I can respond, he presses further. “Is he the one who scared you the other night?”
I let out a huff but also let it all roll off my shoulders. He’s young. He has issues with trust because of his family. He doesn't know what happened, and he’ll deal with it.
I’m warmed by his concern, but this is one time where Holden’s natural suspicions are misguided. “Holden, I know him. I know your job is to be wary of everyone who enters those doors. And I know that you have good instincts. But Gabriel is more than just a businessman walking in and wanting a membership.”
“So why was he gone for so long?”
I sigh, standing up. I’ve made my decision, and I need to end this. “Something happened in my past. He protected me.”
“Something... he was protecting you because you did something,” Holden says as if he understands. As if he’s starting to get it.
For a split second, a small blip of a moment, I want to spill it all to him. It took years to get over what I did. The remorse from that grave incident mixed with the loneliness and the worthlessness I felt nearly brought me to a darkness I could never return from. I still remember the sound. I still have nightmares every once in a long while. I’ve never forgotten. No matter how much I try to forgive myself, I’ll always be a murderer.
I’ve never told a soul, not even Joshua who knows me from those days. I suspect Joshua knows the truth, but we’ve never discussed it. And after all these years, unburdening my guilt feels safe now, like the last little piece to finally let go.
But I won’t because that would hurt Gabriel, and no one ever really needs to know. Even a young man who doesn’t understand and has had issues with trust all his life. He doesn’t do secrets, and I understand that, but this isn’t business. It’s personal.
So instead, I cross the room, trying to end the discussion. “You could say something like that, Holden.”
Holden backs up to the door, standing between it and me. As if he would dare block me from leaving. My brow cocks. I’m more than certain my expression reads,as if you would dare. In response, his gaze drops a moment in shame.
“Holden, I’ve made my decision. I appreciate your concerns, but this will not help your argument. Now get out of my way, drop your concerns about Gabriel, and let’s get back to work. The auction should be ending soon, and there are documents to have signed.”
The Holden I know returns, looking if anything a little chagrined. “I’m sorry,” he says quickly, almost stammering. “I’msorry, Madam Lynn. I just... I’m really worried, that’s all. I get a really bad feeling about him.”
I pat him on the shoulder, trying to heal this rift that’s suddenly popped up between us. “I understand, but you don’t know him, Holden. You’ll get to it, though. You’ll warm up to him.”
Holden hums and lifts an eyebrow, muttering beneath his breath as he leaves, and it leaves a chill to run down my spine that I do everything I can to ignore. “It’s been twenty years. Are you sure you know him?”
