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Hudson let out a small sigh, but he grinned as he wheeled closer. “At the risk of killing the mood, it’ll be easier if you get yourself undressed. I want to take my time with you. And not to bring him up in this moment, but I haven’t really done this since Austin, and I just…I need to get my hands on you. I don’t want to fuck this up.”
“Trust me, it won’t kill the mood as long as you promise to watch,” Peyton said, searching for his old courage that had once allowed him to be sexy and free with himself.
Hudson let out a sharp breath and he wheeled back away from the bed as Peyton stood. His nerves were on fire because although it wasn’t the first time someone had seen him mostly naked since his surgery, this was the first time someone he wanted had.
Hudson was a good man who believed people like them should be sexy and desirable, but there was always that chance Hudson would change his mind, and Peyton wasn’t sure he’d be able to take the rejection. He was brave, but he was still fragile and uncertain.
“Hey,” Hudson said, holding out a hand.
Peyton walked into his grasp and allowed Hudson to yank him down to his lap. His thighs were thin and a little bony, and his body was warm as he wrapped his arms around Peyton’s middle.
“I want you,” Hudson said, his tone a little bit like he was answering Peyton’s silent insecurities. “And I promise you, I get it.”
Peyton laughed, ducking his head. “Was I that obvious?”
“Only because I’ve seen that face more than a dozen times in my own reflection,” Hudson said. He hooked a finger under Peyton’s chin, and when their gazes connected, Hudson leaned in and kissed him. It was wetter this time. Hotter. Filthier. It was on the edge of desperate with biting teeth against Peyton’s lower lip, and he found himself shifting on Hudson’s lap, desperate for friction.
“I’m ready,” Peyton finally whispered after Hudson broke away. “And if you don’t like what you see, just…just be honest, okay?”
“Okay,” Hudson said, and Peyton felt a rush of gratitude that Hudson didn’t make some bullshit empty promise about how that wasn’t possible.
Sliding off his lover’s lap, Peyton took a few steps away, his skin flushed from feeling Hudson’s eyes on him. It was hard being under his attentive gaze. Everything he did was intense, and this added a whole new level.
Peyton’s fingers felt a little weak and unsure as he reached for the hem of his shirt, but eventually he forced it over his head and let it fall to the foot of the bed. He wasn’t brave enough to look at Hudson’s face as he stared at his feet and began to undo the button and zipper on his jeans. It took him a little longer than usual, but as it slid down, his gaze remained fixed on the lump that was his stoma under the waistband of his boxer briefs.
This was it. This was the moment.
There was no turning back.
Peyton took a fortifying breath, then turned so he could face Hudson. He was only half-hard now, his nerves getting the better of him, but he still fixed his gaze on Hudson’s face as his fingers hooked in his waistband and tugged. Hudson wasn’t looking in his eyes. No, he was tracking the motion of his arms.
Peyton watched him lick his lips as the boxer-briefs slipped to the floor. He saw Hudson’s fingers flex, then grip his wheels so tight his knuckles went pale. Before Peyton could shy away, Hudson was rolling forward, one hand out, grabbing Peyton by the hip. His other hand immediately took Peyton’s dick against his rough palm and gave it a few strokes.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Hudson rumbled.
Peyton’s dick plumped with each throb of his pulse. He’d never felt so wanted in his life. He’d never felt so seen and desired as he did right then as Hudson couldn’t seem to stop touching.
“Can I taste you?”
Peyton swallowed against his aching throat because he wasn’t sure anyone would want to do that ever again. “Yeah. Yes. Please.”
Hudson groaned like Peyton had given him a gift, and then he was bending over, and a hot tongue toyed with his slit. Peyton gripped Hudson’s shoulders so he could keep his balance because the world suddenly swam, overwhelmed with pleasure and anticipation and need. He did his best to keep his hips still as Hudson’s mouth explored him, and he bit his cheek to keep from spilling right there because this was everything he’d wanted.
No. It wasn’t everything.
It wasmore.
“I’m close,” Peyton finally gasped.
Hudson pulled his mouth away, swiping the back of his hand over his wet lips, and his heated gaze met Peyton’s. “Go into the top drawer of my dresser and pull out the box on the top. It’s black and purple.”
Peyton took a breath to calm himself, then he quickly walked over and found what Hudson was talking about. It was about as large as the dildo box, but lighter, and he brought it over to the bed just in time to see Hudson shedding his shirt.
From the top of his belly button to his shoulders, he was ripped. Peyton had seen it before, had admired the shape of him before, but there was a new level to it. Now, he was allowed to touch.
So he did.
He set the box down, then turned and dragged his fingers over the tops of Hudson’s shoulders, then down the front of his chest. When he reached his nipples, Hudson grunted and bent forward.
