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I wrap my arm around Andy's shoulders and lead her across the street. "It's going to be okay, Andy. I promise I won't let anything happen to you, okay?" She doesn't respond, just hugs me closer to her.
Chapter Eighteen
Andy
We pullinto the driveway of my place and I know what I have to do. The drive here was quiet, with us both in our own thoughts. But his hand never left my leg; he needed the contact as much as I did.
"This is all going to be fine, Andy. I'll come in with you and search your room, get rid of these cameras, or we can just get your things and you can come back to my place."
I give him a look, like what the fuck. "Did you not read the message? This person is watching me, watching us. I can't come home with you. We need to end it. It's the only way for it to stop, and I need this fear to end. If we keep seeing each other, you will lose your job and I'm going to lose my mind." I'm babbling, the words tumbling out of my mouth quickly as tears roll down my face. But he has to be able to see where I'm coming from. I look out the front of the car, searching, wondering if we're being watched right now.
He flicks his eyes back to me. "Leave you to deal with this by yourself when you need me the most? I don't think so, Andy. It's just a job. It's more important that I protect you from this asshole." He's livid, and I can see his protective side is taking over. He thinks he can save me from all of this, but he can't, not if we're together. This all started after he was on the scene, and that's the only thing consistent about all of these messages. This person wants us not to be together.
It's not what I want at all. That's why I'm so upset right now. This relationship I have with him is the first time in my life I actually wanted so much more, but not like this, looking over my shoulder, worried what their next move will be. If this person is as crazy and possessive as it seems, who knows how far they will go to keep us apart?
I take his hand in mine and our fingers lace. "Maybe we just cool it for a bit, so it looks like we've broken it off. I can't deal with this, it's all too much for me, and I need to focus on playing, not all this shit." Tears threaten to fall again. Part frustration, part because I'm so sad by all of this. The way he looks at me, so wounded, kills me. I only want to make this man happy, especially after all he's been through with his wife. But it's just not meant to be right now.
"If you break it off with me, this person wins, they get what they want," he says sadly, looking defeated.
"I'm not breaking it off with you. Don't make this harder than it already is. This isn't what I want at all, but what else can we do? What if this person hurts you because of me? I couldn't live with myself. Let's just cool it for a bit, see if they back off. Please, Brad, I'm starting to get really freaked out here. We don't know how far they'll go to keep us apart."
"If that's really what you want."
"It's not what I want. But we can't be together anyway, can we! Not really the way we want to. And now with all of these threats, we have to at least try. Maybe when the season is over, we can work all this out between us, but for now, this is for the best for us both. Don't you think?"
He doesn't say anything, and I feel like a total bitch because this isn't what I want either, but what else am I supposed to do right now? We've gotten ourselves into an impossible situation and now the consequences are going to catch up with us. "I'm just trying to stop this from becoming something you regret. I'm not worth it, Brad. And you already have so many other things to worry about. You're in the middle of a divorce, you need to time to deal with all of that as well. Maybe this will be a good thing, some time to get all this shit figured out."
"You're worth it all, Andy. But I don't want to add any more pressure to you. I get what you're saying. This is messy, and if we appear to have called it off, it might stop him. But I don't want to be apart from you."
"I know. I'm sorry. This is hard for me too, but it's what we have to do." I kiss him on the cheek. "Bye, Brad."
I turn to get out of the car, and he grabs my wrist. "Andy, how am I supposed to keep you safe if you're not with me?" His eyes plead with me not to walk away, but I know I have to for both of us. This isn't forever, this is just for now. At least, I really hope that's the case, and once this is all worked out, we can be together.
I give him a small smile, trying to show how tough I am, when I'm really not right now. "It's not your job to protect me, Brad. I have Nala and the girls, I'll be fine."
He pulls me toward him, placing a kiss on my lips. It quickly turns desperate, making it almost impossible to leave him. When we kiss, the rest of the world fades away and I forget about anything else. God, I don't want to leave. This is what I want, to be with him. But I can't, not right now anyway. His grip on me loosens, and I pull away from his lips. And slowly slip from the car without another word.
Once in my bedroom, I hear his tires screech and his car scream down the road. I throw my bag against the wall in frustration. This is fucked up. I'm devastated by this whole situation.
My eyes dart around the room, looking for the fucking hidden cameras. From the direction the images were set, they have to be toward my headboard. No sign on the ceiling or by my window. I start throwing things around my room in my mad search for it. I empty my bookshelves, bedside tables, every fucking damn drawer in the place, and still nothing. Where are they?
My gaze focuses in on the plant behind my bed. It's the only thing left in here high enough. I jump on my bed and reach for it. Sure enough, there is a little white circular device just sitting there, hidden by the leaves. I hurl it across the room, and it smashes into pieces against the wall. But I'm not satisfied. What if there's another one?
I turn around in a rush to see the girls all standing in my doorway. I drop to the floor and the tears I have been trying to hold back break free again, and I melt into a puddle on my floor. Sobs escape me.
"It's okay, I'll talk to her," I hear one of them say.
Then Darcy is next to me, sitting on the floor, her hand on my knee. She pulls me into her, and I completely lose it. I feel completely out of control of my whole life. This stalker is messing with my mind. It's what they wanted, and they win, because I'm a total mess and I have just told the only man I ever wanted to leave.
"Hey, it's going to be okay, baby. Shh."
But it's not going to be okay. I have stupidly gone and fallen for him. Someone I should have stayed away from, and I knew it right from the start, but I had myself convinced it was just a bit of fun. I didn't want anything more, so I should've been able to walk away when I needed to, but I can't without it breaking my heart, and worse, his.
Brad
I slam my keys and phone down on the side table as I enter my place. I'm fucking pissed off. Tonight went from bad to worse. First, having to deal with Madeline, and then messages from Andy's stalker. She thinks by pulling away she is saving me from losing my job and stopping her stalker from contacting her, but that's not how these things work. Whoever it is, he will still be watching her, except now I won't be around to protect her. That's probably his plan, get her alone.
I know Andy is fiercely independent, and until now, she's dealt with everything on her own. But she doesn't have to anymore, she has me. And I'm ready to change my life for her because I can see a future with her, one that is worth fighting for.
