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Two rounds later and I think might be getting the hang of it. The kid has kicked my ass both times, but it's been years since I sat down to play any sort of computer game. "You're good at this," I tell him, and the smirk is back; he knows he is.
The smell of melted cheese drifts through the house, and my stomach rumbles. I feel bad for abandoning Millie in the kitchen, but I needed to find a way to connect with Connor, and this game has given me an in. He's not looking at me like some foreign object anymore, more a friend he can game with.
"Wash up for dinner," calls Millie from the kitchen.
"Just when I was getting good," I complain.
"It's going to take more than two games for you to get good. At least you worked out the controller in the end," he tells me bluntly, leaving the room to wash up.
Millie smiles a little, amused by his comment. "How did you do?"
I don't know whether to laugh or be insulted. He’s right, I might need some more practice. "He thinks I'm shit at FIFA, but at least he’s communicating with me. Sports were never really my thing. I would have been better off giving Guitar Hero a go."
"He thinks everyone is bad at playing his games except for him. He would destroy you at Guitar Hero as well." She laughs, placing a cutting board with what looks like a margarita pizza on the dinner table. "This one's for the kids. I made something a little more interesting for us. Hope you still like supreme with the works."
She remembers how I like my pizza, that's a little bit cute. "I sure do."
The four of us sit around the dinner table and eat the pizza Millie has prepared. Ruby tells us animated stories about her day and some friend named Stacy who has a very interesting life, stopping only to shove another bite of pizza in her mouth. Connor is quiet, pushing his food around the plate, like it's an alien creature and not tasty Italian cuisine. Every now and then Millie gives me a little glance and a smile. She's relaxing into this strange situation and doesn't seem as tense as when I first got here. I can't stop looking at her and wondering how I survived without her in my life for so long. Us sitting here like a family feels so normal. This is what I want for my life.
The kids help her load the dishwasher with their plates, then enjoy a bowl of ice cream for dessert.
"Why don't you kids go get washed up and ready for bed," she suggests to the kids.
"Oh, Mom, can't we stay up? We have a special guest,” Ruby tries her luck, smiling sweetly toward me like I'll be on her side and change her mom’s mind.
“It’s a school night, Ruby," she says, her voice a little firmer.
"Aww," she moans but does what she’s told. Connor follows her.
I help Amelia clean up after the meal. She washes while I dry. She's quiet, and I wonder what’s going through her head. I feel like our first dinner together went pretty well. They’re adorable children and didn't seem to mind having me around, so she shouldn't have to worry about that. But she's got something playing on her mind.
Amelia glances at me, and she looks a little unsure. Maybe tonight didn't go the way she wanted it to and it's just me feeling good about it all. "You're wondering why he’s different, aren't you."
I'm not sure what she means by that comment. I really have no idea about kids. I've never had the chance to spend much time with them. "Not at all, I was just thinking he’s quiet and doesn't like food much. He's like me at his age."
"He has autism. High-functioning, that's why he’s so smart, but it also means he has trouble with some social cues and has some sensitivity to things, taste, smell, and even sound. And he's kind of black-and-white about everything. You would have found that when you were playing his game with him.” She says it all so matter-of-factly.
"Oh," I respond because I don't know what to say. I don't know anything about autism. But all of a sudden, I feel protective of him, like knowing this means he needs me more. "Does he have friends?" I ask, worried. I know how hard it was for me to make friends when my mom and I moved here, and eventually I found Devon and that was that. He got me, and I liked him because he had the confidence I didn't.
"Yes, a nice group of boys all into the same things as him. He started therapy when he was little; it's helped him a lot with assimilating into mainstream school," she says proudly. "Most people wouldn't even notice it, but when you get close to him it's obvious. And I thought you should know, since you're his dad."
"I hope you don't think that bothers me in any way, because it doesn't. I don't know much about any of it, but from what I can see, he’s a nice kid. I just want to get to know him better. Hopefully he accepts me into his life as his dad when he’s ready; I know it must be so strange for him."
"He will, he just needs time to adjust. We all do."
"Yeah, I'm still wrapping my head around it. But if I had to be in this strange situation with anyone, I'm glad it's you."
"I'm glad it's you too, Heath." Her smile is soft and shy almost, but it lights up her face, and I know she really means it. She wants me here just as much as I want to be here.
"You said the other day when we chatted that Connor likes sports and gaming. Are there other things I should know about him?"
"Other than the reading, which you already know, it's all numbers and lists." She laughs, probably thinking that sounds strange for a nine-year-old, but I don't mind at all. "Thank you for bringing them gifts, you didn't have to do that."
"I wanted to. Felt like I might need something to give me a good start with them. The two of them are so different, aren't they?"
"Yeah. Keeps life interesting." She's done with the dishes and lets out the sink of water then wipes her hands, leaning back against the kitchen counter, watching me as I finish drying and stacking the dishes to one side.
"I bet. So, if I wanted to do something with him, taking him to game might be the right thing to do?"
