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“Oh, come on, Heath, you’re being dramatic. It had to be done. Now we can be together, like you keep telling me you want to. There is nothing standing in our way." She sounds so genuine, like she really believes it.
This chick is more mental than I originally thought. "I don't know what planet you’re from, but you need to get this through your head now. There never has been nor ever will be anything between us. Whatever you think is there, it's all in your head. You need to leave," I say as pleasantly as I can, actually worried about what she might do next. Part of me already knows it was her here watching us that night, and I would bet my house that it was her who broke into Amelia's place and sent her that box.
She looks at me, confused, then places the bottle on the kitchen counter and takes a few steps closer toward me. She unties her robe, showing me that she is completely naked underneath. "Come on, baby, let's make this pregnancy real."
I take a step back. "Don't come any closer," I warn her, like she's holding a lethal weapon. "You need to get the fuck out of my house before I call the cops."
Confusion and hurt cloud her features. "Are you serious?"
"Yes. Get your fucking clothes on and walk right past me and out the fucking door, and if you come within eyesight of me ever again, I will have you charged."
She swallows hard, looking between me and the door. "But there is nothing in our way now. I'm not stalking you; this is what you want too?” Her voice goes up like it's a question. Like she really thought this was what I wanted. “You told me you did. I have messages from you every night this week."
"I'm in our way. I have no idea who is messaging you but it’s not me. I don't want to be with you. The only person I have ever wanted to be with is Amelia, and you fucked that all up with your rant on social media."
She looks to the door then back to me. "But you said…and she said this is what you wanted, she said if I did everything she asked, you would be mine, and that's what you wanted."
Is she talking about the voices in her head or something? What is she going on about? I reach for my phone, ready to call the police. I've had enough of this shit. She needs to get out of my sight and now. "Who said?"
Her brow furrows like she’s confused. She closes the robe over herself with the tie. "I don't know anymore," she mutters, and her eyes reach for mine, like she is searching for answers, but I've got nothing for her. She gives me one last sad look, collects her clothes, and walks toward the front door.
I lock it behind her and reset the alarm. My heart is racing in my chest so hard I feel like I might have a heart attack. My body is so stressed, my head hammering, my chest tight. I rush back to the kitchen and find my stash of cigarettes, lighting one up. It's been weeks since I had the last one, but right now, I don't care. The nicotine hits my lungs, calming my trembling hands. I feel like my life is falling apart, and everything is so far out of my control I don't even know where to start to get it back in line. But I know one thing for sure. I can't go on like this, it's going to kill me. And it will destroy the only things I really care about.
AnhourlaterIhave filled Devon, Teo, and Iwan in on the fucked-up situation that's become my life. The brothers have spent the last couple of days camping with a couple of girls they just met, making the most of their downtime, and had no idea the shitstorm I was dealing with until they flicked on the radio on their way home and heard the headlines. They called Iwan, and the three of them were here within the hour. Lucky for me, cause when they arrived, I was on the floor in my kitchen, a smoke in one hand and an open bottle of that gin Devon left here on his last visit—that I had no intention of putting down until it was empty. We have always had each other's backs, and them being here for me now is a reminder of just what I'll be giving up if I go through with what my gut keeps telling me I have to do.
Devon sits next to me, taking the fancy-looking bottle. "This is fucked up, man. So, you think Elara's the fan who has been creeping on you the last few months?" he asks, sampling some of the gin straight from the bottle. "How could anyone get past that new security system? It's fucking top-notch."
"Well, they did more than once. You were here when they set it up. Who else has access to the new security system?" The question that keeps racing through my head is how does she get in here? She said I messaged her the code. It wasn’t me but someone must have.
"Just me and Della, not even these two know the code." He points to Iwan and Teo who have made themselves at home, Teo sitting on the kitchen island and Iwan leaning against it with a beer in his hand straight from my fridge.
My heart sinks. So either I can't trust my best friend or my manager of ten years. "I thought that's what you might say. I know she has been good to us over the years, but Della is the common person through all of this. She was the only other one with a key to our room backstage the night that girl got in. The only other one with access to this place before and after the break-in. She was also the one who set up the interview with Elara. Do you think she's the one giving her access to me?" The hurt way Elara looked at me as she was leaving earlier and the way she said, "But she said this is what you wanted, she said if I did everything she asked, you would be mine, and that's what you wanted.”Like it was someone else pushing her buttons and telling her what to do. It stuck with me; maybe Elara's not a psycho, just being manipulated by someone with good reason to break up me and Amelia.
They all look at me like I'm the one going crazy, and maybe I am. But all signs point to Della, and something tells me she's the one behind all of this. "Why would she do that?" asks Teo, sounding defensive of her. And I get it, she has been with us for a long time, we would be nothing without her.
"I have no idea. Tell me I'm wrong if you think I am, but that's what it looks like."
"I agree with you. I don't understand it, but I do," says Iwan with an edge to his tone. I knew he would be on my side. "Did you know she has booked the tour?"
"What?" I snap. I can't take much more of this. There is so much tension in my body, I feel like something is about to snap. I'm done with her controlling my life. I pull myself up to standing, feeling like I need to move before all the toxic energy inside of me gets too much and I start smashing shit up.
Devin shakes his head, unimpressed. "I fucking knew it. She is lying to all of us as well. She got the rest of us to sign off on it Friday before we went away, said she talked to you and you were already on board and would sign off when you got home today. She's playing us."
She's gone too far this time, trying to manipulate us like this. I point at Iwan. "How did she get you to agree? Thought you were happy to have the time off with your girl."
He shrugs. "You know I'll go along with whatever you want, man. We all will. This was always your band, we’re nothing without you. Della knows that too."
"Fuck!" I scream into my hands, my frustration hitting a tipping point. I know he's right, and maybe that's why I feel like the size of my decision is weighing on me so heavily. I don't just have myself to consider. If I do what my heart is telling me to and walk away from all of this, it affects them too. All of our lives will change completely. And these guys who have been like family to me for so long will all go our separate ways.
When I get my temper under control and look back toward them, all eyes are on me. "What do you guys want? Do you want this tour?" I look to the three of them for answers. I can't make a decision like this alone. I love these guys, and I want what's best for them as well.
"Honestly, I have some other things in the works with Teo." Devon shrugs.
"He's being secretive for no reason; it's a new gin we've been working on." Teo points to the bottle still in Devon's hands. "Looks like we just got a distributer for it. I want to see that through. Performing isn't the be all and end all to any of us anymore, man, we're ready to move on."
"Good for you, guys." I guess I have been more disconnected than I realized. And the abundance of gin at our gatherings lately makes more sense.
"We have run our course, man, we’re all at the same point as you, we're just waiting for you to call it," Iwan assures me, and he doesn't know how badly I have needed to hear him say it.
