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He sighs. “He had forced himself upon her.”
A cold tremor runs down my spine at the thought, and I try to think back to the scene as I’d been shown it. And when I do, I have to admit that Balor’s story isn’t impossible. The vision had all been so vague and ethereal, and I’d been unable to hear most of what was being said. When it came right down to it, all I’d seen was a couple in bed together but I couldn’t be sure they both wanted to be there.
“And you killed him?” I ask.
Balor shrugs. “Perhaps if I’d been thinking clearly I would not have done so but… do you blame me? To see the woman I loved so mistreated… I didn’t stop to think. I merely acted on instinct.”
If he is telling the truth (and I don’t believe he is but there is just a niggling of doubt pulling on my proverbial coattails) then I’m not sure I would blame him. Put into the same situation, would I have done any different? But there are still questions; inconsistencies that don’t add up.
“Suisse killed herself,” I point out. “Because you deprived her of the man she loved.”
Balor can’t meet my gaze, as if he’s reliving a terrible experience. “She killed herself—yes. And I assume that’s all you saw, so you are just guessing the reason.” I shrug because I can’t argue that point. “That night left her traumatized,” Balor continues. “She was never the strongest of women, there was always a fragility to her that threatened to shatter her. After the attack from my brother, I believed she was improving, recovering some of her stability with the knowledge that Derith was gone and would never harm her again. But then she learned that…” His head falls, as if he’s summoning the strength just to speak the words. “She was with child.”
“And it was Derith’s.” In that instant, and I can’t explain why, but I begin to believe him. Perhaps because this is the first I’ve heard that Suisse was with child—Derith conveniently never explained as much—possibly because it would lead to a truth he didn’t want me to uncover?
“The child could have been either of ours,” Balor continues. “So, without my knowledge, Suisse went to that witch, who told her the child was Derith’s. All the pain that she’d been able to put to one side was suddenly returned upon her, only with a vengeance because proof now seemed to be growing inside her. There was nothing she could do to escape it.” He shakes his head, sadly. “I should have been there with her. But I couldn’t watch her around the clock and… I thought she was improving. If I could take back one moment of my life…” He breaks off, unable to speak more.
“I’m sorry.” He seems genuinely upset.
“Go on,” he says as he looks at me.
“Go on?”
“You have more questions, I assume?”
There’s an obvious one left hanging. “Why did you bring Derith back to life, after all of this?”
I want to see if he says the same as the witch told me.
“I didn’t intend to,” Balor replies, his shoulders rounded as he stares down at the floor. “I wanted… I wanted to bringherback. Suisse. I knew it was wrong for a man to dabble in black magic, and I knew there was a chance that she wouldn’t come back as the woman I remembered, but I had to try because life without her was more than I felt I could endure. But, of course, it was not something I could do alone. So, I sought help.”
“The witch in the woods.”
Balor nods. “She said she would help me because she felt partly responsible for Suisse’s death, having told her the truth about her unborn child.” Not exactly what the witch had told me but close enough. “That seemed reasonable. So, I trusted her, and when the witch told me she needed my own blood to complete the spell, I did not question it.” He grimaces at the memory. “But as you can no doubt guess, she betrayed me. She used my blood to bring back my brother, not Suisse. Although, seeing the creature that my brother came back as, I am grateful that Suisse did not come back. I would not have wanted to inflict such a life on her.”
“Then Derith bit you?”
“Turning me into the same vile creature as him,” Balor nods on a sigh. “Further tying together our twisted fates, already linked by my blood and that witch’s jewel.”
“Why did the witch betray you?” I ask.
Balor sighs. “I realize it will seem as if I am telling a falsehood, but the truth of the matter is that I do not know. I have racked my brain all these years and still am as much at a loss as I always was. Perhaps she held some grudge against me, perhaps she had something to gain? I do not know.”
Both brothers’ stories have holes and inconsistencies. And yet…
Maybe it’s because Balor’s standing here in front of me and I can see the emotion on his face and hear it in his words, but I find myself believing Balor, even if I don’t altogether understand why.
“I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to see you again.” His head raises, and for the first time in a while he dares to look directly at me. “You look so much like her.”
“So I hear.”
“And you remember nothing of that life?”
I shake my head. “It all happened to someone else.”
“Except that it did not,Suisse. It happened toyou, and I will not rest until I have coaxed those memories forth so that you can have the life that you were always supposed to have.”
It’s strange to hear him refer to me by that name. I’m not sure I like it, not sure if it feels right. “I’m happy with my life now.”
